So after a 3:45am wake up and an hour's drive to the airport I wound up having my flight cancel and get rescheduled. I'm sitting in the airport now waiting for my new flight to get me outta here so I can get this procedure done! I will admit my mind started racing thinking "should I take this as a sign that I shouldn't do this?" But no, I am certain of my decision. Unlike many on this site, I have just 50 pounds to lose. Never in my life have I thought of it as "just 50 lbs" until reading others' struggles to lose 100+ pounds. What I've come to realize though is that no matter how many pounds we all may be carrying with us; it is the mental and psychological burden that becomes so heavy with being overweight. Yes we have physical laments as well, but in my head I have always been the heavy girl. It doesn't matter if it's "just 50 pounds" or if its 100 pounds, to me its all the same and I feel horrible about myself. My boyfriend will often comment that I look great (love him!) and am not doing so bad if I take a look around at others. I chalk it up to my standards though and would I really want to accept being fat just because I'm still smaller than others I may know or hang around with? Hell no! That is not me at all.
So here I sit, patiently (NOT!) waiting to board my plane at 8:50am to get me to San Diego airport so I can start my weight loss journey to newfound health and vitality and pride in myself. Thank you all for your posts and support; reading them all has been beyond helpful in preparing myself for what is to come and to confirm that this is what I want to do.
Have a wonderful day (and please pray that my flight gets me there with no other issues today!) ;-)