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Ccarter9889

It's hit me, I'm doing this alone

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Im trying not to binge or emotionally eat but Im doing this solo. Im single in a town where I have no friends or family. I'm pretty sure thats one of the reasons Ive eaten...for comfort.
If I take that way, then I really wont have anything. Its scary. I know I should just get up, go outside, take a walk but doing it alone makes me uncomfortable. I dont know how to get out of that mental head space.

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  1. Gigi1210's Avatar
    Iím sorry you feel alone. How long have you lived there? Is there a church you might attend? What about a gym membership?
  2. AnnieStillG's Avatar
    I think you will find your brave, and step out. You will find people to be much kinder than you expect, and there may be some friends who are in need of exactly you!
  3. KiwiGal's Avatar
    There is a lot of support here so please don't feel as though you are on your own with this.
    I have found that when I walk by myself I have to plug in some music to help me along the way. I don't like walking by myself - it's boring - but having some music or a radio station to listen to makes it bearable. Just make sure that you are walking somewhere that you feel safe and that it is daylight. And you know what, I've found that no-one takes any notice of me or what I am doing. You never know you might find a kindred spirit on your walks.
    Kia Kaha (stay strong)
  4. denzel's Avatar
    Could you, perhaps, find something you might like to join do as a volunteer. e.g. walking dogs at a rescue organisation. Great way to meet folk, you get to exercise, and to gain the benefits of doggie companionship.
  5. sraebaer's Avatar
    First of all, as far as eating, being alone may be an advantage! Those with families can't have it easy when they have to cook for them and then eat differently. My kids are gone, but it sort of bothered me those first weeks watching hubby bring home a pizza and not be able to have any.

    Then you have this group, I realize you don't really know us but we are really good at providing support and helping with questions. Venting is also permitted!

    I find walking in nature, alone, is the most fun thing on the planet. It is so good for my mental and physical health. It relieves stress. I can't take a day without my woods. I think if you try it, you'll like it. Sometimes just stepping out the door is the hardest part.

    Then we need you to find a way to make some new friends. A walking or hiking or biking group? Our local bike and running shops always have signs up for group activities. Our neighborhood has a "new neighbors" group with activities from book club to card games to bowling. Or you could join a gym and find a class you like, typically they are the same people and you get to know them. If you go to church they often have groups for every age; if you're young starting out a new job in a new town they probably have a young adults group. Or even online dating if that's something you may be interested in, my best friend who was divorced found the guy of her dreams that way. Or any sort of volunteer group; I always see people in my neighborhood walking dogs for a local shelter.

    I have moved 14 times and know moving is what you make it. if you sit inside, sad, saying things are horrible, they will be. If you figure out how to make the move fun, it will be. I found every move to be a great adventure. We even moved three teens from the San Fransisco East Bay to middle of nowhere Mississippi; now that was a culture shock. But we ended up loving it, and I now have grandchildren with Southern accents. Who'd of thought. (Though I still cringe when the 5-year-old says "all ya all.")

    I realize being alone will be much more difficult, but you can do it. Best of luck to you!
  6. nlee's Avatar
    I agree with sraebaer! I have a bf and 3 kiddos (11, 9 and 22 mos. at home) at home. It's a pain to cook their faves and watch the bf bring home pizzas, biscuits, McGriddles and all the other yummies home and keep up with my new way of life. I'm so used to eating whatever, whenever, whether I'm hungry or not and to now say no thank you to most of these things is hard. The bf "forgets" every day that I can't have certain things bc I'm still on the full liquids diet for a few more days. I think it would be easier to focus on the right foods without all these distractions about.
  7. Ccarter9889's Avatar
    Thank you. I just need to get over myself I guess. Super helpful! I hope things are going well for you.

    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiGal
    There is a lot of support here so please don't feel as though you are on your own with this.
    I have found that when I walk by myself I have to plug in some music to help me along the way. I don't like walking by myself - it's boring - but having some music or a radio station to listen to makes it bearable. Just make sure that you are walking somewhere that you feel safe and that it is daylight. And you know what, I've found that no-one takes any notice of me or what I am doing. You never know you might find a kindred spirit on your walks.
    Kia Kaha (stay strong)
  8. Ccarter9889's Avatar
    Thank you, you're sweet
    Quote Originally Posted by AnnieStillG
    I think you will find your brave, and step out. You will find people to be much kinder than you expect, and there may be some friends who are in need of exactly you!
  9. Ccarter9889's Avatar
    Thats a wonderful idea. I'll look into that. Thank you.

    QUOTE=denzel;bt204472]Could you, perhaps, find something you might like to join do as a volunteer. e.g. walking dogs at a rescue organisation. Great way to meet folk, you get to exercise, and to gain the benefits of doggie companionship.[/QUOTE]