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Terrible tragedy in the family

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Here I sit with my son and daughter chihuahuas Hercules and Gabriella. Last Thursday Herc's sister Bella had 2 seizures back to back at home, we freaked out and ran her to an all hour animal hospital where they kept her. They gave her some seizure medicine and brought her into us before we left to go home at 3 am and she looked a little more alert than when we first brought her in. We got home and the hosp called and said she was doing good and could probably go home late morning. My husband and I fell asleep thinking our baby would join the family and this would be all behind us. I got a call at 7 am that she had another seizure so they were going to try another medication, another phone call came in at 10 am and she had another seizure and was showing signs of brain swelling. We hurried, got ready and drove to Bella. First thing they did was bring in the choices of cremation boxes and prices. We hadn't even thought of anything but we knew we didn't want her to suffer. The girl brought Bella into us and she wasn't herself, she didn't know we were there but she knew by our voices that it was us. I talked to her and kept calm while holding her. My husband had never lost an animal so this was his first time to go through making the decision and being there when their spirit leaves. He was a mess and I had to stay strong for him, I felt. She went peacefully and with us holding her. I had my daughter on video chat since she was at her house in CO recovering from just having Sleeve surgery. I got home on Tuesday from being with her for her surgery so I had only gotten 1 night with Bella before she got sick. Herc and Bella followed me everywhere, like my shadows always with me. Herc is without his sister (they were born together and I bought both so they could grow together). He looks everywhere for her and the stress of losing her has caused him to get an impacted gland, now I'm dealing with that.
So with losing my baby, I've only known eating to take the stress off whenever something happens in my life...I EAT. Carbs are my favorite. Weird but since coming back from my vacation of 3 1/2 weeks in CO I've eaten pretty well. I've stuck to a lot of proteins, salads, veggies. I went to CO because that is where I am from...I call it home but now live in Vegas. My father is dying from cirrhosis of the liver so I spent a lot of time with him and then my daughter had her surgery and I turned her on to this website. My guilty pleasure right now is a McDonalds cheeseburger with no bun, light ketchup and onion...so good but then I won't eat for about 6 hours afterwards. I'm taking Phentermine to curb my appetite and thank goodness it works. Now if I just exercised 30 min a day like I'm supposed to, my weight would come off at a faster pace. I need to be accountable for my actions or no actions. I've always been lazy when it came with exercise unless it was tennis and I was so competitive. My husband has been so good to me because he has never made me feel not beautiful. I lost 50 lbs when I met him and was 175 (same weight in 7th grade). Then we started going out to eat and dating was so fun and I stopped exercising and went to 280 lbs. After my 3rd weight loss surgery, my lowest weight was 157 and what I wouldn't give to weigh that again.
That's my story for today...hope all are doing well. Peace, love, and chicken grease.

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Tags: chihuahua, death, loss, pet Add / Edit Tags


  1. Stacey03's Avatar
    It is really heartbreaking when you lose a pet, they are a member of your family. I have been through this a few times and just like with a human family member you will go through a period of grief. This is entirely appropriate and then we carry on with life never forgetting our dear friend we have lost. I am so sorry you lost your pup.
    Im sorry about your Father too, it seems like you have quite a lot to contend with at the moment :-(
    I think at times like this we must take greater care of ourselves than usual. Simple things like getting up, going for a walk, choosing nutritious food. There is a great comfort in routine. One foot in front of the other until you start to feel a little better. And you will, it's just hard to see that right now. Something else that often helps is to journal some of your thoughts, its only for you to see, or do some art work in remembrance.
    Also ... therapy can be such a helpful thing to do if you have access to it. It sounds like you have had quite a battle with 3 weight loss surgeries and someone to support you may be a wonderful thing. My thoughts are with you and so sorry for your sadness.
  2. Christie13's Avatar
    So sorry about having to put Bella down. Wishing you healing vibes.
  3. AnnieG's Avatar
    I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved dog; we are dog people and lost two within one year. One was a quite sudden, spontaneous heart attack, which will dreadful meant no choice. Our beloved Jojo had a ghastly cancer. Letting him find peace was so hard, and I still (3 years later) weep. We have two pups (one 2, one 3) and they bring a lot back.

    Try to find some "self care" -- hot bath? new perfume? Good book? Road trip? And prayers for your father.