You may recall in my previous blog of a similar title yesterday wherein I openly discussed my feelings of obesity and of feeling as though I will always, on the inside, refer to myself as being obese. After much deliberation, I thought it would be wise to delve further into this so as to offer up a better explanation as to why I harbor these feelings the way I do.

*Deep Breath* There have been times in my life where situations have presented themselves in such a manner as to lend themselves to being outright mean and spiteful towards my ongoing weight problem. I have been bullied, name called, laughed at, and spat upon. Some of this was done by complete strangers, while at other times it was at the hands of friends, family members, and acquaintances (the latter was produced by my mother in a fit of rage over something that was not only inaccurate on her part, but for the most part contrived through her own wrong doing.) So to say my road of obesity has been difficult would, at best, be a gross understatement.

I mention the above outlined information not as a means of drumming up sympathy, rather as a means of drumming up hope for someone else who may have been or is currently experience the same of similar situations.

It's not enough having to walk through life with extra weight in all of the wrong places, body dysmorphic disorder, and extreme mental distress. Couple with all of that feelings of shame and guilt, as well as anger and resentment, and you have the makings for a walking time bomb. The only difference being that when you do finally explode, you tend to collapse inward and suffer from your own emotions, thus resulting in a tendency to binge eat.

At my highest weight pre-RnY I was over 400 lbs. (I will try to find some photos to post here if you would like). At my highest weight pre-VSG, I was approximately 340 lbs. So you can see by my testimonial that through the RnY procedure I did lose some weight. but it wasn't kept off for the better part of fifteen years. Through a combination of hard work and pre-op dieting in preparation for my VSG I lost the majority of my weight down to the aforementioned 340 lb marker. I have since lost an additional 96 lbs since surgery on September 19, 2017. So all told, I have lost nearly half of my body weight through the advent of the VSG, but I still feel I have a way to go (approximately 60 more pounds) until I reach my goal of 185 lbs. I know that may be somewhat unrealistic, and that is fine, but it gives me something to work toward. If I make goal...excellent. If not, I won't be disappointed because of the amount of weight outlined above. Just the same, I want what's best for myself, and if that means busting my ass to get to where I need to be well then, and ass busting it shall be.

Anyway...

I wish the road I have traveled on no one. And if there is any one piece of my story I can share that may have an impact on someone in a positive way, them having chosen to share it with this community has been well worth the effort. I am aware that my views and opinions are not for everyone, but my "keeping it real" style of truth telling is the only way I see fit to get my point across. Any other way and I feel as though I am tap dancing around the issues at hand. I would much rather lay it all out there for each one of you to sift through so that you may take what you want, and leave the rest.

Have a great week everyone!