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khunter719

F’ed UP BIG TIME and NEED SUPPORT FRIENDS.

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khunter719
, 01-01-2018 at 01:44 PM (2346 Views)

Here I go AGAIN with my pity me story. I had my surgery in Mexico and was very successful. I lost a total of 120 lbs and went from a size 28 to a 10. My husband was in FL and I was at home in CO. He was there taking care of his father who had dementia, I found it strange that the caretaker knew more about our marriage than I did. So he told me if I wanted to save our marriage I would come see him. At this time I weighed 240 lbs. This is after our wedding in Las Vegas on 12-12-12 at 12:00 in the afternoon. I had to ask for a belt extension on the plane and cried because it finally hit me how large I had become. His father was very prejudice against fat people, sohe would call me his big girl. After I got back to CO, I called and went on a plane weighing 280 lbs to Mexico, I wasn’t scared at all. I had complete trust in the doctor, nurses, and the whole operation. I had surgery and went back home, the weight came right off. I got down to 157 at my smallest. I flew back and forth to FL from CO to spend time with my husband. It was great. My husband picked me up at the airport when I was a size 14, I believe. He said nothing about how good I looked. His father was amazed at how well he did marrying me. All he could do is look at Robert and back at me and say how good he did choosing me. Lol I was elated.
I told my husband to not tell anyone that I had surgery because I didn’t want anyone to say I took the easy way out. I was on a lot psych meds. The doctor never changed the dosage of any medications. Even though I lost almost half of myself. I was very sick. I can remember, my husbands father, sister, him and myself went to Red Lobster for lunch and I ordered the clam chowder. I told Robert I wanted to stay home because I wasn’t feeling well, he insisted. After our lunch was delivered to the table, I fell asleep in my soup. Glasses first and then the hot woke me up. I was so sick. I had fallen asleep or passed out because of the medication and hit 5 cars, ran into my house. I was under so much stress, I can remember eating the marked down cake from Walmart and then throwing it up. I slowly crawled up to a size large, then an extra large and now I sit here writing and I’m a size 2X which is getting too tight. I weigh 225, this is the biggest I’ve been since surgery so now that his father has passed away and he inherited millions, my smaller clothes still in the boxes. Here I lost weight and donated 26 leaf bag size of big size clothes to the ARC and I’m having to buy new large clothes again. I’m a failure. I was talking to my husband about my weight gain and how much it bothered me and he gave me this look like you turned into a fat ass again.
Robert bought me a very expensive treadmill for Xmas, I have anxiety about being alone. I get very paranoid, so my mother and her boyfriend are coming out to stay with me while my husband goes back to Colorado to fix up the house so we can rent it. I’ll be starting my eating healthy again tomorrow. I will keep you up to date on how I am doing. I just need some help being positive and keeping to my eating. If you have any ideas on what would help please write me at my email khunter719@gmail.com. I’m open to anything.

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Comments

  1. Dawnislas's Avatar
    You know what to do just do it. You have to take charge of your life and advocate for yourself at the DR with your medications and with your food choices. I have lost control of food choices since Halloween but am determined to get back on track today. You can do the same. Good luck
  2. AnnieG's Avatar
    I will be praying for you to have peace with yourself, and to find your way back You've had great success before, and so you can do this!
  3. sraebaer's Avatar
    Sorry for all your troubles. I joined Weight Watchers (crazy right?!?) but it has really taught me how to track and I like weighing weekly and meeting with others in my same situation. I got back to my goal weight in 2 weeks. Now I can go for free because I was a lifetime member way back when. It is exactly how we should be eating, "free" foods are fish, chicken, eggs, fruit, and veggies. Works for me. Not to mention it's easy with our smaller stomach to fill up. Back in the day I was so hungry I'd eat all my points by lunch. You can do this!
  4. Stacey03's Avatar
    It sounds like you have had a really hard time. Psyc meds can be massive weight gainers too. Is there a way to change your psychiatrist to get a different opionion as it seems unusual that none of your meds were changed with your weight loss. That might be a good first step.
    It also sounds like there might be some unsuportive people in your life which won't have helped you. I think you can be sucessful, you have been before but I think you need the support of a good doctor and good psyc to help you get back on track. I've heard that going back to basics will help. so eating like when you first had the sleeve for a couple of weeks, protein shakes and chicken to get you back on track. Maybe seeing a good dietician might help too to get a plan in place.
    Also counselling of some sort as from reading your message i worry that you have been treated badly and might need some support to stand up for yourself. Nobody should treat you badly. nobody should be mean about your weight and nobody should make you do anything you don't want to do. I hope that with support that you can put yourself at the top of the list. You are a priority. do not spend time thinking you are a failure. The show isn't over yet. Much love and hope for changes for you x
  5. cathbas's Avatar
    Get to a good weight loss doctor around you. get help...first, having the sleeve is not the easy way..nothing is easy..loosing weight is not easy..and keeping it off sure isnt easy.. so get help you cant do this alone..find a good dr that is near you..that know all about this surgery..and will help you...
  6. pugtato's Avatar
    Sounds like your husband is a real jerk.

    Sorry to sound blunt, but it's probably a good idea you leave him. The mental abuse you described in the above post is 95% of the weight gain. The other 5% is thinking you weren't good enough. Let me tell you right now, you are good enough and you're too good for your husband.
  7. Christie13's Avatar
    Go back to basics. Focus on protein and veggies. Eating the crap foods like cake you can eat a ton. I am willing to bet you still have restriction when you are eating solid proteins like meat. You can do this. But remember you are doing this for YOU. You are worth it. You DESERVE to be happy and healthy. Sending you big hugs.
  8. zoey101's Avatar
    Wow! I am so sorry your Husband is not being more compassionate toward you. Keep in mind that he is going through allot with the passing of his Father and maybe he is struggling in his own way but unfortunately he is taking it out on you. Also sometimes I've heard that Husbands and Wives can feel threatened by their spouses weight loss and worry secretly that once you start getting attention your not used to they fear you will leave them. These of course are just ideas but one never knows what really goes on inside someone else's head. With that said if you have gained this much weight back you immediately need to get back on track and start with the basics. You also need to have a serious conversation with your Dr. about your medications. You almost lost half your body weight and if the meds aren't lowered it could be doing serious damage. Also medications can cause severe weight gain so you need to ask your Dr to prescribe you something that doesn't have this side effect. Please take care of yourself, you were doing amazing and if you don't get a hold of this you may end up right back where you started and I'm sure you don't want that. I really hope you figure all of this out but most importantly call and get an appointment with your Dr before anything else. Then I would have a heart to heart with your Husband and let him know it is completely unacceptable to speak to you like that. Good Luck!
  9. Ann2's Avatar
    I haven't replied to your post yet because it was painful to read. It's clear how much pain you're in and how overwhelmed you are feeling.

    So here's my advice, since I know next to nothing about your actual situation:

    Forget about your husband. You can't do anything about him. You can do nothing to alter his attitudes, behaviors, or decisions.

    But you can change your own attitudes and behaviors, but only if you have the balls to do so and only if you want to thrive during the rest of your life instead of barely survive. In fact, your attitudes and behaviors are absolutely all you can change.

    One word: Therapist.

    I send you my very, very best wishes for your future health and happiness.