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astallons

My husband, sister, Mom, and Daddy

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by
astallons
, 08-07-2017 at 11:24 PM (2046 Views)
This past week I told everyone in my family that my surgery is approved. My husband has been kept in the know all along. A few things happened that I did not expect. For those of you that remember, my mom was adamant that I not have the surgery when I was scheduled before. (She especially didn't want me to have it around any holidays "in case something goes wrong and you die, it will ruin your family's holiday for the rest of their lives".) She even did a dance when insurance denied me last year. So I was apprehensive about telling her this time. While she still isn't on board with me 100%, she said she understands that I have to do something. My sister's response was to make our family recipe peanut butter cake for me. She is a big supporter, but said since I wouldn't be able to have it for a while after surgery, she wanted to make it for me. It's my all time favorite and I could usually eat the whole pan, but I did really well and only ate 1 piece, kept a piece for later and took the rest to work for my coworkers to enjoy. My daddy is kinda quiet this time around...he always has my back on any decision I made and I know he is supportive this time too, but I think Mom's theory of something happening is getting to him. My surgery date is his birthday and I just don't know what's going on in his head right now. Here's the best part of my weekend though (other than the peanut butter cake) my husband sat me down last night and asked me who I was doing this surgery for. When I told him that I was doing it for me, he said, "that's all I wanted to hear." He explained that he was afraid that I was doing it to be skinny to make him happy and he wanted to assure me that no matter how much I weighed, I made him happy. He loved me almost 20 years ago and he loved me even more now...no matter my size. I tell ya, even though, I knew that...it was absolutely wonderful to hear. I am doing this for me though...I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Seriously, PCOS, Sleep Apnea, previous hysterectomy without hormone replacement...those in itself make you exhausted all of the time. Add carrying around extra weight all of the time makes it even worse. While I am not diabetic right now, I was well on my way to becoming one. Cholesterol levels are high. I'm tired of always being worried if I am going to fit in a seat. I'm tired of being concerned if I can ride the roller coaster. You know what really sucked? My husband took me on a vacation 5 years ago all because I wanted to go indoor skydiving...then when we got there the guy told me that I was "too large". Talk about ruining a vacation...and I still have dreams with the guy telling me I was too large. I may not have the trouble that most people have with their weight. I'm lucky, but I'm taking control for me. My husband will just get perks too. :-) Sorry for rambling guys!!

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  1. Christie13's Avatar
    I'm glad your family is on board. It's very helpful and not all families get it. My husband told me the same. Actually said I didn't need it. But was very supportive as he always is. Now looking back at pictures he actually sees how big I was but he'd always looked at me with love goggles so he didn't see it. Now he's getting the benefits of what I did for me! Good luck on your surgery and wishing you a speedy recovery.
  2. sraebaer's Avatar
    Your mom didn't want you to die and ruin Christmas!? If I were you I wouldn't have told her this time, she sounds a bit odd.

    Your husband will be your primary support, and he sounds amazing. Best of luck to you!
  3. KYbourbanaged53's Avatar
    way to go 'astallons', I got teary reading this, so happy you are supported and received the vocal affirmation you already knew was there! I hear that!! My husband is incredibly supportive as well, and when I went thru the family session it was my son (24) who was the hold out My Daddy sounds like yours in always being the one to hear me out and stand by me, both parents though quickly inserted their positive comments where my son had unintentionally put his foot, LOL I learned too that my Mother had feelings about my lifelong struggle I never knew about: as a newborn she heard comments like, "she looks like she's 6 months old" My Daddy apologized for the times he pushed me to diet and exercise, even put me in a sweat suit once, that ended with me in the suit in the shower trying to cool down, as a teenager I was often approached by 'older' guys, and look back now and say, "I went from toddler to size 20" I truly don't remember a size below 18 PCOS, cost me a tube and ovary in my 20's, but I didn't know anything about PCOS until I was 50!! Losing head hair, pulling chin and neck hair on the daily, type 2 diabetes and now a size 22, aghhh it's overwhelming *sigh Like so many I have been reading about on here, same story, and same goal, doing something for ME, and nervous as can be....
  4. Ann2's Avatar
    Your husband is a keeper.

    I'd like to bitch-slap your mom. Truly.
  5. PokerGuy's Avatar
    Great to hear you have a good support system with your hubby. I'm sure you will do amazing.
  6. astallons's Avatar
    Thanks everyone!! I truly am blessed with my support group. My mom just loves me and worries like any normal mom would...she just has a strange way of showing it. I was really mad at her before but have since overcome that. (Until the next time she says something inappropriate unintentionally - and I know she will...lol).

    @KYbourbanaged53 - Hi! Do you have a surgery date scheduled? PCOS is just simply awful. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Again, I have been blessed. With fertility treatments, I was able to have two beautiful children. I had to have my hysterectomy when I was 26- which was scary at the time (btw, my mom bawled like a baby for a week when she found out I had to have a hysterectomy because she said I wouldn't be a woman anymore...not sure what kind of surgery she thought was happening!!! So see, she does love me, she's just crazy!!!). I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 19, but suspect that I have had it long before them because of all of the issues I had as a teen. Luckily, I married my husband at a young age. I was 19 and he was 20. He is my rock and has been for almost my entire life. (We met in middle school). His only request is that I never become as crazy as my mom...and for me to quit picking at my chin all of the time (I'm a fanatic about chin hair).
  7. GigiUSA's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Ann2
    Your husband is a keeper.

    I'd like to bitch-slap your mom. Truly.
    Ann is my Hero xoxoxoxoxoxo
  8. GigiUSA's Avatar
    AStallons you will do great and I agree with everyone else, your hubby will be a fantastic support to you. As you move ahead, and post op, when you are starting to lose and feel better, others around you that were scared will see what a positive impact the sleeve surgery has on your life and hopefully get onboard. Either way, you will feel fantastic and it will be what it is. Wish you success and happiness xoxo