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blinky31

Fluffy not fat

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I don't know how to start a blog but i will jump in and try , i have been fluffy most of my life never thin i say fluffy cause my nephew used to tell that to my mom when he was little he would say your not fat grandma your fluffy ,that sound better to me . In my thoughts i see this skinny women but then i see myself in the mirror and totally hate me, My husband says im hot and sexy to him but i don't feel that way and he don't understand that so i have to be loving myself before i can except what he is saying to me ,he doesn't understand that ,i just want to feel better and i know once i have the surgery this tool to help me with my weight loss i know i will love myself ,it will be easier to workout , walk climb in and out of my big truck ,oh im a truck driver by the way i do bottom dumps .
I CANT WAIT FOR MY SURGERY

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  1. Linda51's Avatar
    Sabrina,

    I know what you're talking about, when you describe your relationship with your husband. I was a normal size person when we got married. Although I have always fought with a weight problem, when we got together I had it under control. I remember one day shortly after we got married, seeing an obese woman cross the street and telling my husband if I ever got that big that he should leave me. Well, fast forward 45 years and I'm now bigger than that woman that was crossing the street all those years ago. He hasn't left me, and he still says I'm one hot, sexy mama, but I certainly can't see what he's talking about when I look in the mirror. He is mostly supportive of my decision to be sleeved, but I can see his hesitation when we really talk about the surgery and how I will need to eat for the foreseeable future. He's so used to seeing me huge, will he still think I'm sexy when I'm a healthy weight? Lots of questions and emotions to work through. I should be getting my surgery date next week and when that happens, everything will be more real than it is now. You and I need to begin our "self love journey" right now. I believe that if we don't love ourselves that we are going to be heading down a really steep road. Just my thoughts and opinions, I hope this is helpful to you to know that you aren't alone with these emotions. Oh, and by the way, my husband is a California commodity hauler.
  2. DesertGal's Avatar
    You both will be happy you had the surgery, on down the line. I was never an overweight person, let alone a 'morbidly obese' patient that I had become. My husband tells me daily, as he has for 41 years that I am beautiful and he loves me and loves the way I look. Well, I could understand all those words all those years ago, but when I started packing on the pounds I 'couldn't see it' and deep down, hated myself, all the while making fun of myself,and embraced humor.

    Since surgery in March, having dropped 77 pounds thru diet classes and surgery, I DO look almost like I did many years ago and he still say's daily that I am beautiful and he loves the way I look... so I guess he loves me.

    Now, I feel so much healthier and am able to shave my legs without having a huge gut in my lap; getting into much smaller clothing; bending down and picking things up EASILY; being able to get onto the floor without looking like a elephant trying to get back off the floor; and being off obesity meds. And like Sabrina, When I was younger and see obese people, I'd think, 'Just shoot me' if I get that big.

    This surgery was not an easy decision for me, but it had to be done. Now I can approach 60 feeling and looking healthier.
  3. blinky31's Avatar
    thank you so much for telling me this i need someone i can talk to that is so cool me and my husband work together at the same job to please keep intouch
  4. Shirl's Avatar
    Sabrina,

    From your pic, I can tell you are an attractive womyn!!! I hope YOU will see what we all can see with or without surgery!

    Own it! And work it!

    I do understand where you come from tho, for a long time liw self steem got the best of me. I started doing self-care work many many many years ago. I'm glad I did, but the pendulum went a bit too far. I started embracing my body, my voluptuousness! I was the healthiest fat person I knew, until I wasn't.

    This surgery has helped me get balanced both in self image, self steem and loving myself every step of the way!

    Wishing you the best of wishes for continued healing and success!
  5. blinky31's Avatar
    thank you i love getting this feed back very very helpful
  6. sraebaer's Avatar
    The word fluffy bugs me, and I have no idea why. I was fat. Fluffy is cute like a little puppy dog, fat is not cute. But the good news is this surgery changes everything, you will no longer be fluffy or fat! By the way, you are adorable! Best of luck to you, the sleeve is the best tool EVER.
  7. blinky31's Avatar
    sraebaer , im sorry,i use it cause my nephew used it for my mom so i always used it since then i lost my mom 5 yrs ago she was overweight dieted all the time she was having dialysis 3 times aweek i think all her dieting caused her to have bad kidneys but she died in the chair that another reason why i want this surgery so i dont end up like her thank you for your insight , i like when people can get back to me .
  8. Christie13's Avatar
    Absolutely get that. My husband told me that I was not fat when I told him I had gone and had a consult with the surgeon. He really believed it because he loved me and didn't "see" that part of me. But now that I have lost all this weight he gets it and notices the difference. He notices that I am skinny and he loves the new me.
  9. blinky31's Avatar
    Thank you Christie13, i cant wait tell im thinner and i will be able to except it when he says im sexy or hot or what ever.
  10. sraebaer's Avatar
    My husband never called me fat either, guess he loved me for who I was, which is pretty cool. But now that I'm a regular sized person it's nice to get continual compliments from him! Calls me a hot teacher when I'd get dressed in the morning. Or says, "Why are you looking so nice? Seeing your principal?"

    Blinky31, it happens so fast you will be amazed. The sleeve is a miracle in my book. You have so much to look forward to!