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"Are you pregnant?"

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3328876
, 05-08-2017 at 03:36 PM (1876 Views)
Today I have one of my 8-year-old son's friends over for a playdate/homework date. I got them settled on their word work, and then retreat to my office to prepare for a meeting tonight. The friend needs help with something, so I come back in the room. As I walk in, I see him looking at my belly. He asks-- "Are you pregnant?" I say no, I'm just fat.
A few minutes later, his pencil breaks. I go back to my office to grab a fresh pencil, but as I return I see he's already found a pencil from the bin near our phone-- it's an extra-thick one that we used when our kids were first learning to write. He said, "Look! I found a pencil! It's fat like you!"

This.

This is one of the reasons why I'm getting the surgery. The 8-year-old is transparent and saying what he sees and thinks. People my age probably judge me too (for being overweight/obese) but would never say anything. I've gotten used to getting NO comments about my weight-- except some concern from family members, my husband, and my kids-- so to hear it from an unrelated but loved-as-part-of-our-family child definitely made me feel sad.

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Comments

  1. sraebaer's Avatar
    Sorry that hurt your feelings, but kids are kids, no filters. Sort of like at Safeway when my son was little and a African-American family with teenagers was checking out behind us and he said, "Look mom, the Cosbys!"

    On the plus side if you are looking into sleeve surgery things will change for the better. Best of luck to you! Remember, we have all been where you are and understand. I think that's the cool thing about these boards, others have no clue what we have gone through being fat, but we have each other to relate to. And how amazing the transformation is! It's basically a dream come true, a dream I NEVER thought in a million years could possibly happen.
  2. Christie13's Avatar
    I used to work with preschoolers.....if you knew how many times I had to explain to them I didn't have a baby in my belly and I was just fat. It never stung any less. And here I am 6 months post op and love my sleeve and my new life. Good luck on your surgery!
  3. jamma's Avatar
    The sad reality is that we were kidding ourselves if we thought people didn't notice how big we were. They were just adults who knew better than to say anything. Kids just let it all out, they don't mean to be insulting at all, just stating facts. Later, when you've lost weight, you will find that all of sudden you are not invisible to people in stores, parks, beaches. They will be friendly, talk to you, help you with something, wait on you more readily. Maybe it's because we become more open to social situations, but I really believe I was always friendly; I think the perception of me to others has changed. I think this is also human nature. We look healthier, more normal-sized, so others want to engage. I see this a lot in the gym, just a friendly communication, where before pretty much left to myself. Weird.
  4. azladyrider's Avatar
    Rude little kid in my opinion and his parents obviously never taught him any better.
  5. Christie13's Avatar
    Children at that age are just honest. They are not trying to be mean...they just state what they see. It is no different to them then pointing out that someone has freckles or a blue shirt. Just observational. I worked with kids for many years and it is completely unintentional. They are not trying to be mean.