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Sandra3

14 months: is it over?

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I know my surgeon said I could lose easily until 18 months out but for the past weeks I see for the first time a "floating" pound coming on and off and I think that my weight is trying to stabilize. Before my weight would never go up (unless I was taking a medication) so I notice something new here.

My hubby keeps on telling me I look great and don't need to lose more weight, I really want a buffer or at least be out of the wood (on the BMI side). Not the case right now, so no, I'm not going to say I reached my target weight. I didn't. Yet. I know my surgeon is happy, I'm not far from his prediction. Well, I'm not going to settle now.
It's funny how I lost more than 1/3 of my weight in total (since my heaviest in 2012) but somewhere I'm still dealing with those same weight issues. So close from goal but it seems so far...
I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I will be obese all my life. I mean even if I don't look that big anymore, I will always carry the burden of obesity with me. Somewhere it's a blessing to think that way because I will never eat care free but at the same time there's a feeling of being "different" I can't shake off.

I'm happy and grateful for many improvements that came with the sleeve and losing 100 pounds, I know the surgery saved my life but I can't say that I'm currently happy about my weight. I really want to reach a weight that will really improve my health on the long term and also important lower the price of my insurance, it's not that far but I guess it might take more than one year to reach at that speed.
I might need to look into more strategies as going back to tracking for a few months (I hate that! it does drive me crazy!). Not too happy about that but it might be necessary if I see no improvement.
Plus I think changing country will help a lot, I don't eat enough calcium here. Food choices are limited and sometimes I just don't eat enough.

So this month is more a "wait and see" month, also I couldn't walk as before and that might be mainly why I'm stuck. My tendonitis are getting better, I walked more yesterday and was almost pain-free last night. Mega huge improvement.

I really can't wait to be in Australia next month, my last time there was ...Ten years ago!! gee time is flying. I wish I could go jumping with the kangaroos but with my knees it's not going to happen!

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  1. bigdogluver's Avatar
    Hi Sandra, I believe you are capable of doing and achieving your total weight loss goal. You've already achieved quite a feat. It sounds like you're tired, a little depressed, and afraid of failure. You're in an emotional rut. Not to worry. As continue to move/walk, the stress of your feelings will be relieved because you're giving it an outlet. Even if you sat in a chair and exercised your arms and legs, you will feel better. This mood will change, hang in there, thank yourself for all that you've done for yourself - and be proud.

    Regarding your husband's comment: that's sweet and supportive but don't let anyone dictate what your goals should... well, except your doctor, you need her/his approval.

    You are a winner in a funk - it's alright! You are alright! Keep believing, because it is true.
  2. Muted_Tummy's Avatar
    research is research and facts are facts......

    1. sleeve...average loss is 65% of excess weight (calculate 100 lbs for 5 ft, +5 for each inch after) subtract that from your high weight...this is your excess. multiply that by .65. This is the "average loss" nationally by year 2. By year 5, bypass and sleeves average 50% of excess weight.

    2. The "honeymoon" ends sometime between 9 mo and 12 mo for sleeves. That is, we could eat and do whatever those early months and lose (not that we should). Then, it becomes "work". Your body catches on to the new normal. You have to work your nutrition and exercise starting here and you continue to lose. yay.

    3. stabilization.....when we see a stall of 3 months...where weight hovers up and down 2 - 5 pounds....our body is telling us "I like it here". Now, if that is not your magic goal weight number, then it will take work to go lower. period. Advice for us was to then set 5 lbs goals and lose the goal weight mentality. I want to lose 5 lbs. Work to do that. Re assess. Want to lose more? 5 more lbs. your body may fight you to stay where it is, so, if losing 5 is too much of a battle, focus on staying at current weight for 3 months. Re assess. Enjoy your new healthier life or go back to trying for 5 more.

    3. mentally...try to lose the goal weight as the end all be all. Set other goals and see how many you have met or are close to (to focus on). For me....I have a goal weight number (highest weight in normal bmi), a goal weight range of 10 lbs set with my doc (that is about 10 lbs higher than I "want" to be), size 10 - 12 as a clothing size and waist under 35 inches (better heart health). I also had health goals...maybe your health is markedly improved since surgrey too?
  3. Theresa2's Avatar
    Sandra, I went up and down between 201 and 205 from December to March. Saturday down to 199.6, Sunday 198.4. Keep plugging away.
  4. Christie13's Avatar
    I don't believe you are done Sandra. It may take a while but I know you will get there. I think that you also have a lot going on right now with the move and the injury. I know it is rough to have to track but it may be helpful in achieving your goal. I am pulling for you. I know you must be feeling frustrated but know you have a lot of friends here to root you on. Big hugs!
  5. Sandra3's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by bigdogluver
    Hi Sandra, I believe you are capable of doing and achieving your total weight loss goal. You've already achieved quite a feat. It sounds like you're tired, a little depressed, and afraid of failure. You're in an emotional rut. Not to worry. As continue to move/walk, the stress of your feelings will be relieved because you're giving it an outlet. Even if you sat in a chair and exercised your arms and legs, you will feel better. This mood will change, hang in there, thank yourself for all that you've done for yourself - and be proud.

    Regarding your husband's comment: that's sweet and supportive but don't let anyone dictate what your goals should... well, except your doctor, you need her/his approval.

    You are a winner in a funk - it's alright! You are alright! Keep believing, because it is true.
    Hi Laura, thank you for your message ! so far what I feel is extreme frustration. Long story short my health is very complicated, my nutrition spotless, exercise so so (many injuries since the beginning of this sleeve journey) but the major thing is that my metabolism did change with the surgery. I was not expecting it to happen that way. Before being obese or even when obese I could predict my weight loss. Not anymore. It defies any logic! My surgeon is also puzzled by many things. We don't know why I don't lose weight right now, it makes no sens. I had an email exchange with my team, I might need to go back to the hospital for more tests.
    Regarding my husband, he is lovely (even if sometimes grumpy ) here he can see that I see myself as an elephant when obviously compare to "before" it's not the case. Probably still dealing with dysmorphia again.
    My stress level is probably 9 out of 10 right now, it's not related to the weight loss but it's not helping either...
  6. Sandra3's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Muted_Tummy
    research is research and facts are facts......

    1. sleeve...average loss is 65% of excess weight (calculate 100 lbs for 5 ft, +5 for each inch after) subtract that from your high weight...this is your excess. multiply that by .65. This is the "average loss" nationally by year 2. By year 5, bypass and sleeves average 50% of excess weight.

    2. The "honeymoon" ends sometime between 9 mo and 12 mo for sleeves. That is, we could eat and do whatever those early months and lose (not that we should). Then, it becomes "work". Your body catches on to the new normal. You have to work your nutrition and exercise starting here and you continue to lose. yay.

    3. stabilization.....when we see a stall of 3 months...where weight hovers up and down 2 - 5 pounds....our body is telling us "I like it here". Now, if that is not your magic goal weight number, then it will take work to go lower. period. Advice for us was to then set 5 lbs goals and lose the goal weight mentality. I want to lose 5 lbs. Work to do that. Re assess. Want to lose more? 5 more lbs. your body may fight you to stay where it is, so, if losing 5 is too much of a battle, focus on staying at current weight for 3 months. Re assess. Enjoy your new healthier life or go back to trying for 5 more.

    3. mentally...try to lose the goal weight as the end all be all. Set other goals and see how many you have met or are close to (to focus on). For me....I have a goal weight number (highest weight in normal bmi), a goal weight range of 10 lbs set with my doc (that is about 10 lbs higher than I "want" to be), size 10 - 12 as a clothing size and waist under 35 inches (better heart health). I also had health goals...maybe your health is markedly improved since surgrey too?
    Indeed my research was done years before surgery.
    But:
    1 those numbers are an average and include those people who eat fast food after a sleeve. In my case because I have several metabolic issues, my surgeon was expecting lower numbers at first. But then he realized how serious I was about nutrition, along the way he told me I could reach a higher goal. Right now we are all scratching our heads..(I'm 10 pounds from my surgeon's estimate, 30 from mine, and I was just looking at being out of obesity, I would still be overweight, but my body composition is anyway different than average: heavy bones and lean mass too. I might need to lower my expectations at 20 pounds...)
    2 My team based their numbers on my specific case, including my health issues and my BMR (I was last test was in January). Basically with a BMR at 1600 calories per day, when eating 1200 I should be fine and lose even as little as two pounds a month. Not happening.
    3 for sure my body is fighting hard to keep what's left of it's bacon. My surgeon did tell me to expect it but was telling me I could expect it to happen after July (he based that on my results). Well, it's happening now.
    mentally it's complicated. Of course my health did improved a lot. But not to the point where I wanted to be. So now it's also about wondering if I was not dreaming about utopia...
  7. Sandra3's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa2
    Sandra, I went up and down between 201 and 205 from December to March. Saturday down to 199.6, Sunday 198.4. Keep plugging away.
    Thanks Theresa! main difference here is that you do exercise quit a lot. I think that's one of my main problem, the lack of exercise!
    But you are doing so well it is very encouraging!
    We did see in here people who lost even at year 3 but right now I'm not that optimistic, I can't help thinking that I'm not heading in that direction..
  8. Sandra3's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Christie13
    I don't believe you are done Sandra. It may take a while but I know you will get there. I think that you also have a lot going on right now with the move and the injury. I know it is rough to have to track but it may be helpful in achieving your goal. I am pulling for you. I know you must be feeling frustrated but know you have a lot of friends here to root you on. Big hugs!
    Thanks Christie! you are so sweet!
    You are right, I'm feeling very frustrated right now. The stress of the move not helping (still don't know where and when), plus other stressful issues... but thinking that I might need to track again is really really getting on my nerves.
    I do track once in a while, usually I'm always eating the same quantities so I do it only when adding something new. Last week I realized that I was under 1200 several times. And I also experienced that when I don't eat my "special yogurt" my weight loss is nowhere but the only store selling it has been out for almost one month now. Sunday I found eggplants, haven't seen those in a while. Finding the right nutrition for me here can be challenging sometimes.
    So I'm not sure I will be able to schedule one full day of exams at the hospital before my next departure, but that would be helpful to figure out what's wrong with me again. May be it's my hormones, may be it's the stress, may be it's just maintenance mode right now. But my cousin who's a physician (doing a post grad in specialized nutrition) looked into my blood tests, supplement intake etc with his professors and they all concluded that it makes no sens and there's a problem somewhere. Because my deficiencies are still very strong. Work in progress...
  9. Ann2's Avatar
    I lost weight for 18 months. You've seen my weight loss graph in my sig block elsewhere (if not, it'll be easy to find).

    At 9 months I was down 85 pounds (including 20 pounds lost pre-op). The next 9 months, after thinking I was done and focusing on maintenance, I very slowly lost another 15 pounds.

    So no -- I'd say you probably aren't done yet.

    Frankly, I don't know why people think they're through losing if they're still doing everything they did to lose weight. This stuff isn't magical. It's still IMHO calories in / calories out. Admittedly, some calories count a bit less than others, e.g., protein is better than sugar, broccoli is better than fried potatoes, etc.
  10. Shirl's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra3
    I...my body composition is anyway different than average: heavy bones and lean mass too. I might need to lower my expectations at 20 pounds...)
    Sandra, don't fret my friend. I'm down to about 174-175lbs. Everyone tells me I look like I weight less, I know I do because the DEXA body composition scans showed my bone mass is heavier than the average woman my height and age. I am still wearing sizes 10/12, and I have been for several months.

    I liked what Muted said ( and YAY! she is back!) I did recently buy a size 8 pair of shorts, but too tight around my waist. That is my new goal, and I will get there when I get there. With no formal exercise going on lately, I am just walking; I know it will be slower to get to my next clothes size goal.

    You got this!
  11. Christie13's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra3
    Thanks Christie! you are so sweet!
    You are right, I'm feeling very frustrated right now. The stress of the move not helping (still don't know where and when), plus other stressful issues... but thinking that I might need to track again is really really getting on my nerves.
    I do track once in a while, usually I'm always eating the same quantities so I do it only when adding something new. Last week I realized that I was under 1200 several times. And I also experienced that when I don't eat my "special yogurt" my weight loss is nowhere but the only store selling it has been out for almost one month now. Sunday I found eggplants, haven't seen those in a while. Finding the right nutrition for me here can be challenging sometimes.
    So I'm not sure I will be able to schedule one full day of exams at the hospital before my next departure, but that would be helpful to figure out what's wrong with me again. May be it's my hormones, may be it's the stress, may be it's just maintenance mode right now. But my cousin who's a physician (doing a post grad in specialized nutrition) looked into my blood tests, supplement intake etc with his professors and they all concluded that it makes no sens and there's a problem somewhere. Because my deficiencies are still very strong. Work in progress...
    Fingers crossed that your next move is going to put you somewhere that you will have access to better foods nutritionally. I hate that your are having so many deficiencies. And I whole heartedly believe that stress can seriously wreak havoc on our bodies. Hugs.
  12. Sandra3's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Ann2
    So no -- I'd say you probably aren't done yet.
    I do hope I'm not done. But my metabolism and health history is really complicated. Without going into details, when I was +300 pounds I maintained my weight eating 2000/2500 calories. On paper my BMR should have been around 4000....so I'm starting to think that my last BMR from the hospital might not be accurate.

    My nutritionist wrote me today she thinks I don't eat enough. But with my tendonitis I do exercise less...so I'm not sure..
    When I look at my diet this past month, the major change I see is that I didn't eat eggs or chicken (bird flu so it's not sold), no more of my fav yogurt (out) ate more tofu and beef. And had to cut my dark chocolate because of reflux (that's it! here is the reason!)
    And finding fresh veggies good for me is most of the time a real challenge. When I'm out of fresh I eat canned imported veggies...not the best solution but..what to do?
    Lucky for the past months I've been able to tolerate cruciferous (couldn't since surgery) and surprise I even tried cooked tomato last week and it didn't make sick...so I have more options but markets are currently out of broccoli, cauliflower..I found cheap eggplants which was great because my last zucchinis where around 1$ piece.....

    I don't know if you are familiar with the book "the Chinese study diet". What they eat here is close from what they describe in the book. Most of their meals are carbs, veggies (cabbage, leafy green or mushroom all those I can't eat because of my IBS) and small amount of fatty meat. But they eat mainly carbs (may be 75% of their diet, and they are lactose intolerant)

    Finding the right cuts of meat is always complicated, most meat is frozen, pre-cut and imported. Finding lean cuts is always like winning the lottery! People here eat mainly out, their kitchen are tiny and they have no oven.
    So my nutrition has been complicated for the past two years because of my environment. It took me months to find a great store with organic meat, they closed last year. Sometimes I find great veggies at the local market but it's seasonal. AND I have to be really careful to always avoid anything coming from China (lots of tainted food). Finding the right food is almost a full time job! and it does cost a lot...During those past 14 months, I spend may be a total of 5 months in other countries where food I can eat was available. I always noticed a difference in my weight loss during those months..
  13. Sandra3's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Shirl
    Sandra, don't fret my friend. I'm down to about 174-175lbs. Everyone tells me I look like I weight less, I know I do because the DEXA body composition scans showed my bone mass is heavier than the average woman my height and age. I am still wearing sizes 10/12, and I have been for several months.

    I liked what Muted said ( and YAY! she is back!) I did recently buy a size 8 pair of shorts, but too tight around my waist. That is my new goal, and I will get there when I get there. With no formal exercise going on lately, I am just walking; I know it will be slower to get to my next clothes size goal.

    You got this!
    Thanks Shirl!! I'm really stressed out...try not to be but can't help it.

    When I try to distance myself and look at the situation from afar I know it's not that bad. I went from a size 22/26 at my heaviest to right now 14/16P
    From my trips in March 2016 or last Summer I did bring smaller sizes, my smallest are 14P. That's my "goal".

    Right now my health is much better indeed, but I did have some really bad back pain after moving boxes of books (should have waited for the movers to do it) last week and I think losing more would help.
    Regarding what Muted said, it's actually interesting because I just did my waist-to-hips ratio and my result is under 0.80 and that gives me a health risk very low. 14 months ago I was high...
  14. Sandra3's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Christie13
    Fingers crossed that your next move is going to put you somewhere that you will have access to better foods nutritionally. I hate that your are having so many deficiencies. And I whole heartedly believe that stress can seriously wreak havoc on our bodies. Hugs.
    Thanks Christie!
    Stress is for sure an issue here. And I can tell because my reflux got worth those past days. Hopefully things will settle soon. The deficiencies are for sure an issue but so far I don't know how to deal with it on the long run. If we go back to France and my nutrition is better that might help a lot. Wait and see!! Hugs!
  15. Shirl's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra3
    ...Regarding what Muted said, it's actually interesting because I just did my waist-to-hips ratio and my result is under 0.80 and that gives me a health risk very low. 14 months ago I was high..
    ^^^SEE^^^

    That is something to celebrate and be überly thankful about! yes?

    I totally understand, I have better days and stinking thinking days too.
  16. Sandra3's Avatar
    It's been a stinking month so far (on so many levels!)...can only be better at that point