19 weeks-Who's that girl?-Cloud 9
by
, 03-16-2017 at 08:10 PM (3181 Views)
19 weeks. Sometimes it astonishes me when I think about what I looked like just 19 weeks ago. I was puffy and bloated and miserable. I couldn't see my feet. My thighs were very large and caused so much friction they could start a fire. Shopping was no fun...everything looked like crap on me and did not fit right. I hated being in pictures and tried to avoid them at all costs. I ate way more than my husband and was always hungry. The most humiliating part is that at 4'11" I weighed more than my 5'9" husband. A lot more.
I started my journey in May of 2016. I kept hearing the advertisement for a weight loss center in town. Like every day. So I finally booked a consult. I went in and everyone was so nice and non judgey. They told me what the costs would be if I used my insurance versus self pay. They also told me the requirements for insurance and that it would take 6 months of being under the doctor's care for it to be approved. Scared and excited I signed my paperwork and started my process.
That night I had to go home and tell my husband. You see, it wasn't easy for me to admit that I was about to embark on a weight loss surgery journey. I was embarrassed that it had come to this. So I sat down with my husband of just 6 months that I could not control my weight on my own and needed to have this surgery. (I have known him since I was 16 -when I was thin-and we reconnected years ago and I moved to Texas to be with him.) He told me that my weight did not matter to him and that if I was just doing this for him that it was not necessary. Thing is, I wasn't doing this for anyone but me. For once in my life it was really all about me and for me. Yes, my family was going to benefit from a healthier me. My husband would get a sexier me. I would be a better role model for my kids but it was all for me.
After almost 7 months of appointments, weigh ins, an endoscopy, nutritionist visits, psych evals, blood tests and all I was finally approved for surgery on the 25th of October. I will never forget that call. We received the approval for your insurance company. When would you like to have your surgery?? Ummm....how soon can I have it? "We have openings next week on the 1st or 3rd of November." Well I really want the first but I have to give my work notice so I will take the 3rd! My work did know I was waiting to hear from my doctor about my hernia surgery...which happened at the same time. They were just aware of my sleeve surgery happening at the same time. LOL. So they were prepared. And then on November 3rd 2016...right before my November 13th 1 year wedding anniversary...I went in for surgery with my very supportive husband by my side. He was my rock from the day I confided in him. His support was immeasurable.
So fast forward 19 weeks. It has been one hell of a ride. I am so thankful for those ads on the radio every morning guiding me to the decision to make that call. I look down now and see thin thighs and I can see my feet. Sometimes when I look down I don't recognize myself. Seriously, I forget that is me. I look down in amazement. Are those my thighs? Wow. They look good. Or I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a glass or mirror and get caught off guard. I look normal sized. I look healthy. I don't recognize this new girl. She is confident and happy. She is living life with no shame or embarrassment about her size or the way she looks. WOW!!! She is me. A happier, healthier, thinner version of me and you know what?? I really love her!!
And I know we should not base how we feel about ourselves by the way we look but let's face it, if we don't like the way we look we feel bad. And we are all here with the surgery because we needed help and needed to get healthier but no one can tell me that looking better wasn't part of it. It is not vanity, it is comfort in our own skin. And I am grateful to feel comfortable in my new body. Thank you to all who listened to me ramble on but it really has been a great blessing!
Verdict.....I LOVE MY SLEEVE!!!