Accountability
by
, 01-25-2017 at 10:41 AM (2355 Views)
I feel fat. I have gained about 10 pounds back, and I feel sick about it. Some in my life said I look better with these 10 pounds and I was too thin. But...I see it as failing. I want to lose the 10 pounds again. I am about 1.5 years out, and I am happy with my weight loss, but I wonder if I am not meant to ever be done losing weight. Even when those 10 pounds were off...I was planning on losing 10 more. (I don't like that the BMI chart says I am overweight...those 10 pounds would put me as regular)
I don't eat a lot...but I am not eating what I should. I think I really just need to get moving. I am so afraid to work out. I still see myself as the fat girl who can't do anything. I have been having pain in my shoulder and the chiropractor and massage therapist said that I don't have any muscle tone in my back. It is all gone. They said I am very weak. How scary is that?!?!? I am joining LA Fitness when I get paid next week. I want to be healthy. I lost all of this weight so I could start to live...and I don't feel like I have lived yet.