I think I will always see a fat person in the mirror, no matter how skinny I get. My brain is already wired that way, I don't see how losing wt could ever change that, at least for me. Maybe if I were much younger.

You can change your perception of yourself. It takes self compassion and daily mindful work.

To you both I encourage you to look at the woman in the mirror everyday, tell yourself you are beautiful, that you are precious and loved. It may be difficult and it may feel silly, and it may cause you anger and loathing or you may cry.

Continue to hold tenderness toward the woman you see, embrace her, study her, love her, encourage her.

Look at her every day, from her head to her toes, see how healthy and glowing she is getting every day.

Embrace her.

Every day it will get easier.

Have you come across this poem?

The Woman in the Glass

When you get what you want as your struggle for self
And the world makes you queen for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that woman has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or husband
Who's judgement upon you must pass;
The person whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

She's the person to please, never mind all the rest,
For she's with you clear up to the end.
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the woman in the glass if your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life,
And get pats on your back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the woman in the glass

(it was originally written by a man for men over 100 years ago as I recall, but along the way it was adopted for women as well)

The mind is a hard battle. Maybe seeing a therapist would help. You are doing great and everybody here supports you.

It is hard but when you look in the mirror you must learn to look past the body and into the soul. I look in the mirror everyday. Before and after my surgery. I see the same person staring back at me now that I saw then. But my scale tells me I am doing a great job and then my clothes let me know I am shrinking. I only wanted to be healthy, not skinny. I see some people on here that are too skinny and I am going to try to avoid that at all costs. I just wanted to be able to go to the fair and ride with my kids without being kicked off the rides. I know my appearance doesn't make me who I am.

Your doing great. Keep up the good work

It will take time. I'm almost 9 months out, lost almost a total of 110 pounds since my hw. I still have to lose around 40 pounds to be completely out of the wood... I do feel lighter but can't see myself the way I am. I still reach for clothing too big and don't really recognize myself straightaway if I see myself in a mirror in a store...of course I did avoid mirrors for years and was hiding behind the kids in family photos...no wonder...trying massages this week to reconnect mind and body...
I see more the changes in myself in other's people eyes...

phantom fatness is a real condition for us, it takes time to see yourself as the skinny thing you'll become. I lost 70, my hubby 100, if he had his way he would still be in 2xl, whereas he is a med-large now. He still doesn't see how skinny he has gotten.

I had to throw all his fat clothes out and he was mad but I didn't care, he looked crazy in those clothes, like he was wearing a tent.