Small vent
by
, 09-25-2016 at 10:28 AM (3194 Views)
For the last two weeks I was looking forward to going to this party, I mean counting down the days. But here's the thing, I had an awful time. I can't drink because if I go ONE calorie over 1200 I instantly gain and have to work twice as hard the next two weeks just to get back to normal. So basically everyone around me was drinking, having fun, eating all this awesome food and living life while my sober ass sat around waiting for my husband to get tired while watching everyone enjoy life and chow down on this great food while I sip my water, eat my 7 apple chips and lie about why I am not drinking. I hung out at my own little pity party sulking about how I will never be normal and no one even noticed how great i looked because that novelty has worn off. Even worse, I am not a jealous person but I felt jealous of every woman there laughing and having fun and not worrying about calories and sugar and carbs and water. Then after all my diligence, I STILL GAINED WEIGHT this week. So frustrated! My husbands idea of support is "wow, that sucks" as he scarfs down nachos in front of my face.
Is this regret? Should I have just stayed fat so I could have fun? Not one person around me has to worry about weight or being healthy and I just feel like my new lifestyle is driving a wedge between me and everyone I know.