Did you have “The surgery?!?! I won’t look down on you if you did”

This was actually said to me two weeks ago at a concern, by a fella who hasn’t seen me in about 10 years. Now, he sees the facebook pictures and makes welcoming comments but, this kinda shook me. “Look down”?? Really? That’s a great way to get someone to talk, right? I mean, it’s up there with waterboarding.

<<Now the Manzerick Brain takes over.. analyzing everything WAY TOO MUCH>>


Why did he ask? Wait, did I tell him before? Crap, I don’t remember

Do I look like a waling “gastric patient” and doe everyone think that, but not say it? He was pretty drunk, and the filter had been long gone a half dozen beers ago.

Even if “they” do think any of that.. Do I really care? Wait, I kinda do, why?



On many levels, I do care. It’s not so much I have something to hide, it’s just my journey, my path. I say that as my book is together and outlines this all. The exposing nature of this path makes me disclose less than I normally would to anyone.

After the question, this is how it went to the best of my memory:

My answer: “ Bypass? No way! I was offered bypasses and said no each time”.

Then anxiety takes over, and I add: “I’m an athlete, I need my nutrition. I would die out there is I had a bypass”.

Clearly still selling myself at this point “Did you know you would dehydrate playing sports if you didn’t always sip with that little stomach.. Ya, not for me”..

Now, at this point I REALLY needed to just shut my mouth. But, as luck would have iut, got the “Anywaaaaaaaay” and they changed topic. If they did not redirect me, we would probably still be standing there at the concert talking about this.


I believe I am super sensitive to disclosing my stomach status, and not sure if anyone else feels this way. I don’t have shame, and even talk openly to folks “at risk” who need someone to talk to. They need it, and are worth whatever it is in me that hurts to begin opening up. I talk at meetings. I lend an ear but, for some reason, I just can’t deal with anyone talking about my sleeve, my choice.

To sound off on things I know that "they" don't:

I know the hours of effort we all put in. Pre and post op.
I know the pain I had to endure and the path everyone here is enduring. We are not cheaters, this is NOT the easy way out!
I know the mental scars we have are far deeper than anything you can chop out of our bodies
I took action that was life changing, all for a chance to live. You did as well!
I know it was just a chance, I know it isn’t a magic pill.
If I regain, I am not a failure, I am a again succumbing to the side effects of morbid obesity: excess body mass.

I did not do this to look better than anyone, or to “be skinny”. This was done to save my life, and increase my quality of life.



It feels really good to get this out, in a safe spot where we all respect the life style pre/post op, and what we are all about.


I need to say this again: I did not do this to look better than anyone, or to “be skinny”. This was done to save my life, and increase my quality of life. I feel this is where I get most heat, and you may as well. Folks who in their head were “better than me”, are now somehow threatened but me. Strange, and something I would have never guessed.


I’ll take health over dramatics anyway. My life, my story, my business…

For me…. But..


Also for my fellow sleevers!!


#DeisgnerStomach2016