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jaimaroo

Self Check-In

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As I get close to my goal I am starting to really notice how much I have changed over the past 8 months. When you go through something so drastic it is hard not to notice old habits and patterns.
I never thought that I was a stress eater or had issues with food. My friends would even wonder how I was not "normal" sized. WELL I DID IT IN PRIVATE. I didn't even realize this until a few weeks ago when I was feeling stressed. My instinct was to stop at Dairy Queen and get a medium blizzard and demolish it on my way home from work. I didn't do it. I drove past and thought....man that would make me so sick. What I find interesting is that I never knew I had an issue. This will always be a problem for me. I will always have to make the choice that is best for me, but at least I can recognize it now and know that there was a problem there. I don't miss the treats, but I miss the feeling they gave me. Still trying to figure out what that feeling was though! I need to replace it in a healthy way...maybe meditation, or yoga, or going for a walk.
My friend has been trying to get me to sign up for a 5K with her, and I am just scared to death to do it. I still see myself as grossly fat and don't want to be noticed in a crowd. When I told that friend that...she laughed at me (in a nice way) and said that I am not that person. That she actually looks at me and can't believe that I am bean pole shaped. (She had the sleeve done about 1.5 years ahead of me). That made me laugh a lot...I don't see myself as tall and thin. I feel like I would have to lose about 30-40 more pounds to be a thin rail as she calls it.
I am 6 pounds from my goal. 6 pounds! I can't believe it. I want to go 20 past that, but I am going to focus on making it those last 6 pounds and then evaluate from there. Being 5'9 maybe weighing 170 isn't realistic for me. My body will let me know when the time is right.
What I am most discouraged about is the extra skin on my thighs. I HATE IT. I don't ever want to look at it. I don't think any amount of exercise is going to help that situation. I want to feel beautiful and I have to figure out how to look past that. Hopefully I can.

This picture is me today....at 196 pounds. I never announce my weight...but I am not so afraid of it anymore.
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  1. mellowjoy's Avatar
    Congratulations on your success. You're so close to losing the last 6 pounds I know you're excited. I agree with you about re-evaluating the situation when you lose the 6 you are working on now. I re-evaluated when I got to my initial goal weight and decided I could lose another 10 pounds. I'm 5'3 and my goal is 140. Do the 5K with your friend I don't think you'll be disappointed. Also, working toward that 5k will help with your last 6 pounds. Again, congratulations!
  2. Greatest decision ever!!!'s Avatar
    6 lbs away seems like heaven!! You have to be proud of your accomplishment!! Love and embrace your new body! Also, I found a spa treatment for my legs, eventually I'd like to do it in my stomach area one I have completely healed. It's called cavitation & radio frequency. It's kind of like a liposuction without the surgery. They massage the area with a machine and what it does, it dissolves fat cells (melts) and you get rid of that through urine. You have to drink lots of water but we already do that anyway. Besides helping you loose some inches, it tightens skin. So for us, it helps with lose skin. Look it up, maybe you can try it!
    Good luck! You're almost there!!
  3. jaimaroo's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Greatest decision ever!!!
    6 lbs away seems like heaven!! You have to be proud of your accomplishment!! Love and embrace your new body! Also, I found a spa treatment for my legs, eventually I'd like to do it in my stomach area one I have completely healed. It's called cavitation & radio frequency. It's kind of like a liposuction without the surgery. They massage the area with a machine and what it does, it dissolves fat cells (melts) and you get rid of that through urine. You have to drink lots of water but we already do that anyway. Besides helping you loose some inches, it tightens skin. So for us, it helps with lose skin. Look it up, maybe you can try it!
    Good luck! You're almost there!!
    Thanks for that information. I am going to look it up. I am scared to do a surgery, but I could try a different technique.
    Thank you for the kind words and support. Means a lot to me.