Venting - Please don't read if you aren't in the mood for whining
by
, 02-09-2016 at 07:53 PM (3647 Views)
I am 11 weeks out as of yesterday. I have lost exactly 30 lbs. I must admit, I was hoping for the magic of MORE, but I also must admit that I am still fairly sedentary. I'm working on moving, but it is very hard. Today, for example, I didn't want to walk. I made myself walk, and it took a full hour for a 2.25 mile walk. GO ME!!!
I'm just wondering how long it's going to take my body to adjust digestively and otherwise to my new normal. I'm wondering what my new normal will look like.
I have done a good job of eating 3 meals a day, getting sufficient protein, and having high protein snacks. I still cannot distinguish excess stomach acid and nausea from hunger. I know that sometimes I am not eating when I should, and sometimes I am eating more often than I should. I'm on omeprazole, and I'll take Tums as well if it's particularly bad. Living with nausea that is present more often than not is frustrating (though I am incredibly grateful that I have not EVER vomited).
I am either constipated for three or four days, or I have urgent diarrhea. I am a teacher, and this makes the latter very difficult. I have to call for someone to cover my class, and hope I can wait for the individual and THEN make it across campus to a relatively private bathroom (I might mention here that I do not USE public restrooms generally, so this is a BIG deal for me). I've been tracking, and it doesn't seem related to a specific food or food group, just my body processing and not being able to figure out how. I take a probiotic. I'm going to ask my neurologist about fiber (I take opiates for my fibromyalgia and arthritis - and did I mention that I MISS MY FUCKING NSAIDS?)
Often, these days, when I come here, I read so much conflicting advice regarding what to eat, how often to eat, how many calories to consume. I can't even comment any more. I followed my surgeon's directions to the T. I have had no problem with solid foods. At just under three months, I have been eating pretty much whatever I want for almost a month. I have managed to not get overly full most of the time. I'll read, though, that I should still be on purees, or I should be at 500 calories, and I'll start fuming. I'm currently at 1,000 calories a day. If I go below that, I stall. I get my protein in. I eat fruit and vegetables. I have rice/pasta if there is room.
This is MY journey, MY body, and maybe I am losing more slowly than some, but 2 lbs a week is sustainable for me. After three months, it has finally sunk in that this is PERMANENT. It's not that I don't believe I'll never be able to eat ice cream again. My goal is moderation and small portions. It's that I don't know if I'll ever FEEL normal again. I am sleeping 11-12 hours on the weekends, 7-8 on weekdays. I am tired. I am taking all recommended supplements, including sublingual B12.
Today, I wore a pair of pants and shirt that fit. EVERYONE was commenting. Today, I practiced simply saying thank you, and not brushing off the compliments. Because this is HARD work, learning my new normal.
I wouldn't undo a thing. I just wish that it wasn't such an individually determined thing, and that I could read the forums and find THE answer.
::gets off the pity pot, flushes, and wanders back off into life::