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Aydensmomma

Looking through old pictures...

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Aydensmomma
, 01-31-2016 at 11:52 AM (1745 Views)
I can't believe that was me. I have pictures that show me gradually getting bigger and bigger until I hit my max weight of 255lbs.
I knew I was big. I knew I was obese, but I didn't realize just how big I was. I looked in the mirror and I saw myself. I didn't see that person in the picture. When I would have to dress up it was fustrating because nothing fit good, but after I was dressed and ready I was happy with myself. Thought I looked good. Perfect example is my before picture, which was taken at a wedding. I was a guest and I remember feeling pretty. Now I look at that picture and I'm embarrassed.
I would step on the scale at the Doctor's office and see I was 250lbs. I didn't feel like I was that big. After talks with the Doc and many failed attempts at dieting we decided it was PCOS working against me.
So PCOS was making it really hard to loose but PCOS didn't put the food in my mouth. I did. depression didn't make me eat the ice cream. Ultimately I made the decision to get 255lbs, and not be a good, healthy example for my kids. I have no one to blame but myself.
I made the decision to get the sleeve. People like to say that WLS is the easy way out. As we all know, it's anything but easy. The 1st 3 weeks were hard. Our bodies are mad at us for the disruption, our brain wants us to eat, our hormones are wacky and putting us on emotional rollercoaster. We get so excited to loose weight and then we stall.
We exercise, eat right, watch our calories, log and weigh our meals. We make sure we have enough water and protien. It isn't easy. It's a total lifestyle change.
I'm really proud to say that the person looking back at me in the mirror is still me. But now I really see myself, I feel good when I get dressed. No more dreading shopping, no more sweat pants and big t-shirts. I get up earlier to do my makeup, I match my shoes with what I'm wearing, I even put a little jewelry on. My hubby will ask me who I'm dressing so nice for and you know what my answer is? I do it for me. I do it for you, and I do it for our kids.

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  1. Teriona's Avatar
    Thank you for sharing. I go for surgery next week and of course like many I am wondering if I made the right decision. Everything you spoke about mirrors what I am going through right now. I need to live and not merely exist. You look amazing, thanks for the inspiration.
  2. Sandra3's Avatar
    I like to look at the glass half full :If you felt pretty at that wedding, why try to change a happy memory into a sad one? The past is the past and you cant' change it.

    Obesity is not easy, it's a disease and people should not feel guilty just because society make them feel miserable.
    I did feel guilty until a doctor told me last year that I have to look at things on a different way, and I do now.
    Hormones issues trigger sugar craving, did you know that? I also have hormone issues and my OBGYN told me ten years ago, when I was complaining about my sugar intake some days of the months, that it was "hormone related issues". Not everything is a question of willpower like some people try to tell us.
    It is really complicated and not everything is understood today about obesity. I was reading a couple weeks ago about a research that showed that antibiotics can trigger obesity for people who already carry the genes....made sens, I started to gain weight when I was 8 years old after my first round of antibiotics....eating the same thing!!

    Nobody is walking in our shoes, the walk is already complicated, don't blame yourself, you did very good!!
  3. cathbas's Avatar
    I was like you..i never realized how huge i was..even looking thru photos..until now..when i feel normal..and everyone is like..wow..is that you? you look great! i love the sleeve..so great...
  4. Aydensmomma's Avatar
    @Sandra3..........I didn't know that hormone issues trigger sugar cravings......that makes so much sense to me!!! Always a sweet craving, never any others!
    I always got strep throat and ear infections as a child.....and I started getting overweight in the 3rd grade, around the time I got tubes in my ears. I wonder if the antibiotics triggered it. Interesting
  5. December 7's Avatar
    Thanks for sharing
  6. LaffeyTaffey's Avatar
    I can connect with what you're saying 100%. I'm much happier now at 251 than at 355. I wonder what it'll be like to be under 200 pounds?!
    Congratulations on your success!
  7. Lisa2's Avatar
    I know I feel the exact same way. The Sleeve is the best decision I ever made for myself. So happy I didn't chicken out. The outside finally matches how I feel on the inside!! Congratulations on your success.