ACE

Its been a while

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ACE

, 01-26-2016 at 01:03 PM (2439 Views)

Its been a while since i have been able to get on here couldnt get into my account because i forgot the password and it wasnt saved on my computer. But anyhow its been an interesting few months. Life got me down I started not taking as good of care of myself as I should . I allowed myself to fall into a bottle of Vodka and try to drown in it which yeah NO not a place i wanna be. I am back at 200 lbs trying to deal with that but my body seems pretty solid at this weight now and I dont feel huge like i used to. I am finding that since I had the hysterectomy last year my body isnt anything like it used to be. I dont lose weight like i used to and i get very easily angry and emotional now. I am learning to control these things and deal with them but not something that I wanted. I think that is why i went to drinking. Now as before i have to learn to deal with the pain and stress in my life and not try to hide it . Funny at 4.5 years out from surgery I would have expected to have found a way to deal with this stuff without going to those extremes like over intake of food or alcohol or any of the other thins i have done in my life to attempt to numb some form of pain. Its time again to pull myself up by the boot straps and kick myself in the ass to get moving again. I have been doing well with eating and exercise these last few weeks but the decision to make the changes again. I guess this will be a never ending struggle but now i feel like i have the ability to overcome anything.