Feeling sorry for myself
by
, 11-23-2015 at 12:58 PM (5828 Views)
I just want to get a few things off my chest...as I am feeling sorry for myself (not cool).
I am not celebrating the weight loss that I have had, instead I am dwelling on what is still to come. I have lost 101 pounds since the end of June. That should be exciting and fun, but instead I am stressed out about whether or not I will ever get to my goal. I worry that this is my end point that I am not destined to be "thin".
I fly to Chicago on Thanksgiving to see my mom and dad. They both saw me in July, and I was smaller then...but nowhere near where I am now. My mom keeps making comments about me being smaller than her. Where is the support? Where is the love? She is my mom...and she should be proud of me, but instead makes it about her. Story of my life. Everything is always about everyone else and not me.
Pretty sure my new relationship is over...and instead of bouncing back and acknowledging that it wasn't the right fit...I am depressed and worried about being alone. I am so tired of being lonely. I enjoy his company and laughter and friendship. Now, I will be alone again....for the holidays. Not fun. Why can't I focus on ME. Turn the focus into the gym, and my eating and taking care of me? That sounds awful. I want company and companionship. I think I am messed up.