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jaimaroo

Anxiety

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jaimaroo
, 06-17-2015 at 12:05 PM (2836 Views)
My pre-op diet starts on Friday. I am full of nerves, and excitement.
I know that the sleeve isn't going to "fix" the problem. My hope is that it propels me in the right direction and gives me the tool that I have always been lacking so I can make positive change. I am very aware that I will have to work hard, change habits, and conquer demons that have haunted me for years. That is where the fear sets in. I have been overweight my entire life. Nothing has worked for me before. Why is this time going to be different? Am I going through something drastic just to fail? I AM SO AFRAID I AM GOING TO FAIL.
I have dreams about it all the time. My stomach turns when I think about it. I have read too many posts about people who lost weight, gained it back...or never reached their goal.
I go to counseling every other week, so I have that working for me. I have a place to work out the emotional side of this disorder, but I am still so afraid. My self esteem is so low, and my ability to follow through with healthy choices is in the crapper. I am hoping that the initial weight loss will give me the strength and courage to keep going. I have had low level anxiety for the past two weeks because I am so nervous. I am not afraid to go to Mexico for the procedure. I am afraid that I won't be able to hold up my end of the deal. I guess at this very moment, I just don't trust myself to do what is best for myself.

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  1. mtngrl's Avatar
    You are right. Habits must change once you have this surgery. From what I have read, those that do fail, fall back into old habits.

    I was petrified I would fail too. It is sooo cool not to be starving all the time. For me, getting rid of the hunger aspect, really helps you make the right choices. Good Luck!!
  2. jaimaroo's Avatar
    Thank you. That is what I am noticing too. Old habits creep back and take over.
    I just want a life where I am not thinking about food or the size of my behind!
  3. cathbas's Avatar
    Remember all of us here have been there..lost and gained weight, felt like a failure, etc..
    so i think it is like AA, you just have to take one day at a time. One thing I do for myself, is I record everything i eat. and I go on this site all the time..that helps me just reading and reading.. but i know that unless i work on changing habits this tool can only do so much..
    so each day, i try to have a goal..like many before me have said 80 proteins, goal, and 64 water, protein first, veggies second then carbs..exercize, take your vitamins..and hopefully here we all have some accountability..that is what i always need.
    Take care..you are in good company..and the first thing you must remember is the begining of change is to understand what the problem is...
  4. Ann2's Avatar
    I think this surgery is a miracle. I feel like I fell asleep fat and woke up thin and "normal."

    Needless to say, I worked my patootie off "while I was asleep." You know what I mean.

    But it really is a miracle. If you work your patootie off you will be successful. I promise, promise, promise you!

    You can do this.
  5. jaimaroo's Avatar
    Thank you. I am going to come back to these comments over and over again when I doubt myself. I plan on working my patootie off. I don't believe anything worth having is free. It is a nice reminder that you all were in the same head space as I am right now. I don't have any doubt about doing this, just personal fears.
  6. jerzeygirl's Avatar
    I found that after 61 years of being overweight, and having surgery was like a miracle. I too was afraid that after so many failures that I would only fail again. However, that being said; I made up my mind that I was going to change my lifestyle after surgery and so far, so good I would notice small NSV's=non scale victories along with the weight dropping off, and build on each successful step I took. For example, I joined a gym and went faithfully even choosing a personal trainer, stuck to the foods per each stage, etc. I also would notice things like collarbones(which I'm obsessed with, clothes getting bigger, etc. I built my confidence on each successful step until I reached the top of the stairs! It's an amazing tool and if you stay true to the program, you can't fail. Continued success and you're going to love this journey!
  7. TarotAces's Avatar
    This SOO speaks to me. Everything you felt I've felt.

    In my 4th week pot-op right now and am feeling pretty good; at least about 99% of the choices I've made since deciding to have surgery. The mental part REALLY can be difficult. Just wanted to comment and say, "Thanks for posting. It's nice to hear that what I have been feeling and worrying about it completely normal."
  8. jaimaroo's Avatar
    Please let me know how things are going! I am glad that you were able to relate to my thoughts. It always helps to know that you are not alone.


    Quote Originally Posted by TarotAces
    This SOO speaks to me. Everything you felt I've felt.

    In my 4th week pot-op right now and am feeling pretty good; at least about 99% of the choices I've made since deciding to have surgery. The mental part REALLY can be difficult. Just wanted to comment and say, "Thanks for posting. It's nice to hear that what I have been feeling and worrying about it completely normal."