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Jinoshio.Sote

I hate food!!!

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Jinoshio.Sote
, 04-28-2015 at 11:59 AM (2618 Views)
Why?! Why do I have to do a food blog? Or a food diary? Or a food planner? I don't WANT to think about food so much! I'm trying to forget about food. I sure as hell don't want to write down everything I eat! I KNOW what I am eating. Why do I need to write it down as proof to the rest of the world of what I'm eating? I hate this! It's an utter embarrassment! Food makes me feel out of control. When I want to eat it's almost primal. I just want to stuff it into my mouth, chew and swallow, rinse and repeat. That's it! I don't want to THINK about it! I know why I eat. I hate why I eat. Eating is just supposed to be an intake of nourishment: vitamins, minerals, necessary proteins. All a means of survival. But food has become something so much more to me. For a long time food was the only source of pleasure that I allowed myself to have. Sex was not permitted. The pleasure derived from sex was proof of my deviant nature: I was a whore, a ho, a slut. Now, I know that is not true - but that's what I thought. 25 years ago. The damage inflicted upon me by my sexual predator is severe. But, I hope that I have gotten to the point that I understand (or at least I am finally able to admit that I need to understand) why I turned to food. But, if I am trying to get passed all of that why do I need to keep such a focus on it??!! I just want to forget food. I don't want to write it down all damn day long!!

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Comments

  1. SoNotABarbie's Avatar
    Then don't!
  2. mem222's Avatar
    I hate tracking food also,but I know how important water and protein are so I make it easy. I fill a 64 ounce jug with water and drink it during the day
    I eat/drink certain high protein things during each day; premier protein shake - 30g, metrx bar 16g for 1/2 bar, oikos yogurt 11g. I usually get to about 90 g.
    I know some people count calories, fat and carbs but to me that is a diet and I did this so I wouldn't have to diet ever again.
    Best of luck.
  3. SoNotABarbie's Avatar
    Let me just say this. I count my Calories, Carbs and Protein and have done so every since surgery. And by doing this I have lost 156 pounds and am still losing. For me this works. You have to find out what works for you
  4. Blessed2's Avatar
    I have to count calories, if I didn't I think that I would gain weight. For me it holds me accountable and helps me stay on track. Do what works for you.
  5. MaggieMay2015's Avatar
    try this.....
    Across the top of the page write the days of the week.
    Left side of page write WATER, next line down PROTEIN.
    Then each day make check marks, say for every 8 oz of water put one check mark in the box for water for that particular day.
    Same for protein, if it's 20 g or 30 g or whatever you were told to have per meal put a check mark for each one.
    I wish I could draw the chart on here, but do you get the idea, you don't have to write " one egg, one yogurt, one applesauce, blah blah"
    Would that help?
    Then when you're feeling stronger you could add in the food items.
    I get what your saying, food journaling is a struggle for me too. Good luck!
  6. MrsSize4's Avatar
    I am sorry you are still struggling with food. I decided to talk to a therapist. I was depressed for about 3 days after surgery because I could not go to my friend for comfort (aka food). I had to break up with my friend. I was sad, but I forced myself to adjust. I am very anal so I don't mind writing everything down. It helps me stay in control and k ow exactly what I am eating and drinking. This is a new journey and to be successful we can not depend on food for comfort. Honey that relationship has to be over! you must of went through something very horrible and this was your escape. You just have to figure out a healthy way to find comfort now. This is our new life. Pray a lot and ask God to help you heal your old wounds. I will keep you i prayer. I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Sending you a very big hug!
  7. ACE's Avatar
    I find if I try to track food i tend to eat way more than if i dont. I know for me focusing so much on food made it harder until i felt like you do and said enough. I am down 126 lbs since surgery 3.5 years ago and while I do have moments where i gain 10-20 lbs because I dont track my food I find i can regain control better than if i am tracking. Like you said YOU know what you ate its about being honest with yourself about it and if you can do it without tracking and counting i say go for it!