bergamini
Thoughts 27 Months Out
by , 03-09-2015 at 12:37 PM (2600 Views)
I've been meaning to post a blog entry but haven't in a while. So here we go.
I'm 27 months out now. I started at roughly 300# and dropped to as low as 165# before leveling off at 175#. I'm 5'11" so this is a good weight, and even if my face looked a bit gaunt I ultimately would have preferred 165# but it is what it is.
I eat more than I ever imagined I could. I eat really clean probably 4-5 days per week, have some naughty days on the others. I cannot pretend I don't have bad days but I also think I'm pretty good at the recovery days. Like pre-sleeve, I eat a lot at night. It's in me physiologically. I work around that by going high protein / low cal during the day. I usually eat two dinners, each in the 400-500 calorie range, one after work and one near bed time. I eat 1K calories during the day so I end up around 2-2.5K, which is appropriate for my age/gender/height/activity level. My bad days are like 3.5K days and my good days (usually Monday & Tuesdays) are like 1.8K days.
Actually, maybe my calorie level is low for someone of my activity level. I run 25-35 miles per week, do Pilates 3x per week and do boot camp / Crossfit style workouts 2x per week. I also play 2 tennis matches per week, in the 90-120 minute range. I am physically active 10-12 hours per week. If you use a calorie estimator it says that my calories should be in the 3-3.5K range daily. I would definitely gain at that rate. I attribute it to the rapid weight loss post-op, my metabolism is fried.
I wish my capacity was lower. I was so paranoid going in that I'd get sick after a normal meal. Not true. I can easily eat two Lean Cuisine style portions, so about 16 ounces of food, without much difficulty. I'd prefer it be more like 8-12 ounces. I asked for a bigger sleeve (36 bougie compared to 32 bougie) and I got what I wanted. Now I don't want it lol. I deal with it.
Most of you are new and I feel obliged to speak some wisdom that may seem harsh. The posts that say "I just lost X # of pounds and they are gone forever." Not true. I have seen people regain over 100#. If you think it's gone forever, you open yourself up to it actually not being gone forever. It requires vigilance.
That leads to my second point. It is much harder (for me) 2 years out than it was 2 weeks out. When your capacity limits you to 1/2 cup of food, it's pretty damn easy to lose weight. When you can eat pretty much what you want, it becomes a whole lot harder. I'm succeeding -- sometimes I feel barely -- and managing it but don't kid yourself. Unless you have complications, it is most likely going to get harder once you lose the weight and your capacity is larger, you are smaller and require less calories and the thrill of the quick loss is gone. For me, losing weight was a thrill and then it stops and it is kind of boring. I miss it.
I read a study from UCLA that showed WLS patients regain about 30% of their lost weight after 10 years. That's the cold hard truth. And there are plenty who regain much more. I accept that. I will fight it, I am fighting it, but I also have to know that if I do regain the "average" amount then I will have still lost 100# and would do the surgery again in the hear beat. But I'm going to fight it! It's a fun fight.
The tummy tuck is healing well, I'm going to post pics and my thoughts on that (a whole separate journey) later. In some ways my TT restricts my eating more than my sleeve. If I regain, the incision gets tight and uncomfortable and until I get back into the 170-175# range, I am miserable. It's an interesting side effect I did not plan on it. There are hints of fat shame in it because it feels like how I would after a binge meal when I was big, but in another way it is an accountability measure. Nobody wants to be uncomfortable
I always say to people be active. I'm so active it is crazy. Yet I don't belong to a gym. I live in Wisconsin and I run outside even when it is 0 out. You adapt. I'm not trying to brag, but I am trying to say that if you want to be active you can and will be. If you don't, you will find excuses and that's fine as long as you are willing to accept the consequences. When I hear someone say "I need to join a gym" or "I'm going to start working out...", I know that it is unlikely to happen. A good way for success is to start small. So when I see someone start walking or doing stuff, that is a bigger indicator of future success then the talk option.
I started walking post-op because I was afraid of the whole trapped gas thing. I started doing 2-3 miles in like 45 minutes. It was easy and I listened to my iPod and got the dog out. Then it just became longer and pretty soon I would run for a block or two before I almost died due to lack of oxygen. Now I don't even feel tired if I run less than 6-8 miles. It's all perspective though. I would say if people even just walked 3 miles per day that their journey would be more fruitful.
Maybe my biggest annoyance is when someone says "must be nice to have that kind of time" to work out. I make the time. I usually run on lunch and have a protein shake at my desk afterwards. I do Pilates on my way home from work or before work. I rarely watch TV. I have a very busy professional and personal life but I know what's important.
The points I am trying to make are this: enjoy the post-op honeymoon but realize that it may actually be more challenging down the road. Don't be surprised like I was. Fortunately I'm succeeding but it is for sure way harder now. Secondly, nothing is forever including your weight loss. It will be a journey. Third, if you do regain don't be too hard on yourself. If you regain the average amount (30%), the surgery will still be a success. Finally, being active can mean anything from walking every day to my level of activity. Anywhere in that range is great so don't set unattainable goals and fail. Set attainable goals incrementally. I had no idea I would become such a runner, I just started walking and kept incrementally increasing. I never made a huge leap. It was pure diligence.
I don't know if I'm a WLS success or not, but I know success when I see it in others. Meeting (mostly online) other WLS patients has been eye opening. I've seen people who stall out at 250# that I think are a success and I've seen others in the 170# range who are posting "look at what I can eat" photos and I think that's a failure. It's all about perspective. I am pretty confident I'm going to never go back to 300# but my challenge now is maintaining and that's something I can do. I won't lose again and that makes me sad but what I am doing is setting maintenance and physical goals (doing a pull-up, running each marathon faster than the prior, etc.) so that I can enjoy some success along the way.
Didn't want to be a Debbie Downer, but also wanted to add perspective. This has been the most amazing journey of my life. I succeed most days because I know I can fail. And while I hope it eventually gets easier, just know that maintenance is probably going to be a whole lot harder than the losing phase. I wish you all the best.
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