I worked yesterday w/ my husband & friends & wore my new red Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. My friend Sarah, hubby & my son said they looked like mom jeans because they are high waisted. I was a little offended to tell you the truth. Yes I'm 38 & a mom but damnit I'm in a size 6! My sister & I had another big fight the other day & now aren't speaking to each other & my mom of course is taking her side because she's enabling her & not talking to me either. We were supposed to meet fri at my therapists. My mom talked her out of going so I flipped out & called my mom & told her I was very upset she talked Janine out of going to therapy w/ me & to call me that night. She never called. My sister claims severe ptsd that's why she quit her part time job & got on welfare w/ a masters degree in psychology no less!!! I told her to join the club I've had it for years & still handled my shit! She said what do you have it from completely discrediting everything I've been through in my life. I told her I was disgusted by the choices she's made & shed become a statistic & I was done w/ her toxic bottom feeder lifestyle. That night I spoke to a good friend of mine who's working on her doctorate in psychology & she suggested I get a book called emotional vampires people who drain you dry. I loved the title so I got it on my kindle. Holy lord I've been surrounded by damn vampires my entire life!!! My grandmother was a histrionic narcissistic vampire , my dad was a daredevil bully vampire & that's about how far I've gotten into it. But yes my sister & even my mom have become emotional vampires to me. I'm black & white in almost everything in my life no grey areas. I'm either all in or all out. My friend & my therapist agree that I have to set boundaries w/ my family. Not cut them off completely. So after I spke w/ them and slept on it I sent my sister a text saying I don't agree w/ the choices you've made but it's your life. You're still my sister & I love you. I just want the very best for you always have always will. I shouldn't have called you names I'm sorry. That was 2 days ago & I haven't heard anything form her or my mother for that matter. My mom & my sister have become very co defendant on each other. My sisters been codependent all her life & my mom has enabled her. My mom is a Do-for. She did for her mom, my dad & now my sister. She sees it as helping but it's actually hurting my sister because it's keeping her stuck & limiting her true potential. Janine has always had my mom to fall back on. My brother & I married young & built lives for ourselves. Janine married later but still depended on my mother & is continuing to do so in her 2nd marriage. When my mom is gone what is she going to do? How will she cope? My friend & therapist said she will come running to me because up until now I had been her sounding board to a certain extent. When she chose to leave my parents house w/ her abusive cheating loser first husband she cut my entire family off for 2 years except me. Now I'm choosing to keep her at arms length for my well being & sanity. I live up in the mountains 20 miles away from my family. If I don't go down to them I never see them. No one ever comes to me. Phone too. So they way I see it is this. If I don't go to them I most likely won't see them til probably Easter lol. I've really been working on myself & trying very hard not to be an angry person like my father was but its so ingrained in me & I take everything so personally. I've always felt things very strongly and continue to do so. For lent I'm giving up saying I hate. My son said it will make me a better mom. He's right. If I don't care for something I go directly to hate. Always have but I'm hoping to break that. So pray for me. I need it. Thanks for listening.