well written....as someone who has been both very thin...and very overweight I could relate to your blog.....

So glad you continue to bologna your journey as it is so helpful to learn from you.

I wish I could just (((hug))) you! You go girl!

U are so right...FORGIVENESS is the key...When we forgive we are freeing ourselves...forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you but it is for U so that we will no longer be bondage in our own heads to me if we don't forgive we are a prisoner of ourselves. I too am struggling with the same issues but I am a working progress as well...Can't wait for my day to come when I too am on the loser's bench...Keep doing what U are doing...and by the way U look FABULOUS.....

I still cringe when i see photos of myself when i was so heavy. It makes me sad that this option was not available to me sooner. I think back to all the hard years that i tried so hard to loose the weight. My family is now so happy that i finally made it, but i remember my son as a 10 year old being so happy whenever i would start a new Diet and so mad at me when i would fall off the wagon and start gaining it back after 3 months! It would have meant so much to them if i could have been thinner and more active in there childhood. I hate our family photos and these negative self hating words still go through my head when i see them. I have taken down any with me in them for now and have only recent family photos up now!

Almost a year later i am reading back on the feelings i put down. I am happy to say i can actually see some progress on this issue. While these feelings still remain true for me today, I have developed a more balanced approach to my self Image. I don't beat myself up as often about the wasted years and focus more on Who I am now, & who it is that I want to be. So many new options and possibilities have opened up for me because of my renewed energy and confidence. I still keep the "FAT" photos put away as i still find them painful, The negative emotions of self hatred they stir up are counter-productive to my progress. What has worked the best for me this year is the whole "fake it till you make it" approach. I have been trying hard to present myself to the world as a strong , healthy, happy professional woman. I am Excited to say this seems to be working for me. My husband talked me into asking for an interview for a lucrative position at a firm we use. I knew i got the interview out of courtesy because we have been clients for years, and was told as much in my interview. He told me he just filled the position with two other people WAY more experienced then me. I went ahead and gave him a pitch on why I thought I would be great for the job and listed all the things i would bring to the table and ask him to do me the courtesy of thinking about it. I left the meeting pleased with the fact that i gave it my best shot, and proud of the fact that i had the courage to try. The Boss called me in 2 weeks later and said that even though they hired the other 2 guys,they were intrigued with what i could bring and wanted to give me a chance! Another NSV! Well that's my update, Still working on progress! Love Rainbow