Just a quick update. The ugly is, I went to the neurosurgeon yesterday and I absolutely, 100%, no question about it, no other option, have to have surgery on my neck. I have something called spinal stenosis and it is compressing my spinal cord. It is caused by aging and nothing else. The bad is, well, I guess that's the bad too, When I asked the surgeon if he had any good news for me, he said "you're not paralyzed yet." Oy. But there are two goods to counter balance. One is, the surgery and recovery will be infinitely easier at 175 lbs than at 280. Yeah Me! Secondly, when I left the surgeon's office yesterday I stopped at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some stuff for dinner. I'm a good girl and generally shop the "outsides" of the store, meaning produce, to meat, to dairy and out. Not up and down the aisles where the processed food is. Well, you know what's right behind you when you're picking out your greek yogurt right? yes, the ice cream. When I got divorced, 8 years ago, I remember stopping at the store on the way home from court and buying myself a pint of Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk and going home, sitting on the couch and eating the whole thing. I mean, it's the single serving size right? Anyway, yesterday I saw the ice cream, and it was even on sale, so I thought okay, I need that. I stood in front of that ice cream cooler for about five minutes drooling over all the flavors. Picked up a couple and looked at them, put them back, looked at some more. Suddenly, the new me, pushed the old me out of the way and said "girlfriend, get a hold of yourself, that ice cream isn't going to make you feel any better!" and I walked away without any. The truth is, I eat ice cream if I want it. I don't want it very often, but if I do I have it. But I was able to recognize yesterday, that I didn't want ice cream, I just wanted to somehow feel better, but I saw what was happening and didn't buy it. This is a good example of being mindful in eating right? And guess what? today, I feel better, even without the ice cream.

Peace and love people. Keep rockin' those sleeves.

Momma