LOL! Would love to be a fly on that wall.

Good luck.

If your son says something, say to them, "I've been thinking about that surgery, and we've talked about it around him, BUT I'VE DECIDED CUTTING BACK WOULD WORK". You gotta' be creative.

Good luck!!!!! You have no obligation to share everything in your life, especially something as personal as the sleeve. Let them train for marathons and exercise non stop. You do it your way!

I say F them. I understand where your coming from though. I see people and they tell me how great I look and always ask how I'm loosing it. I know when I get asked I probably look like a deer in headlights. I never know how I want to answer that. Some people I say exercise and a high protein diet. Cause that really isn't a lie... lol and others I just tell them I had the sleeve. Its too bad people didn't understand that the sleeve is just a tool same as weight watchers its helping but it hasn't cured me from wanting to eat a giant cheese burger! It's as big of a struggle inside my head as it would be if I didn't remove my 80% of my stomach. So I guess I'm trying to say your not lazy you just had to find the tool that would work for you. For everyone that tool may be different. If you are happy with how things are going then you cant worry about what others will think.

Leave your son with a sitter?! Good luck!

Transcribe everything that transpires and sell this as a script. I'm only half joking. This topic hasn't made its way into a TV series. Your son especially could be a real scene stealer. No, wait. Record it for America's Funniest Home Videos. Your video qualifies you to win AFVs big cash award, you go to appear on the show some months from now looking drop-dead fab, and you get the last laugh on the in-laws while striking a blow for VSG awareness on national TV.

You owe no one an explanation.

If your son tells them his view of what happened and they judge you and shame you in front of him, then explain to your son that Aunts (whatever their names are) will be getting surgery too, they will have their craniums surgically removed from their rectums.

I know it is hard to tell some people but it is your life and your decision, nobody elses. People will always judge, my own family does that and it sucks.

you dont have to tell them anything or explain what you did if they dont like it i would tell them to take a leap you did it for yourself and your health not to impress them

URMAGURD good luck petal!!!!
Gad, these two sound like the horrid, selfish ugly sisters from Cinderella!
I would be pooping myself and on edge all night, however, be armed with appropriate answers! If the info comes out then so be it, and say it as it is........"yes, that's right, and is feel great to have made that decision. My body. My life, and I'm going to really start living it again. Might be joining you in that marathon one day!!"
If the pair of twits start saying anything negative, ask them to stop as you are only surrounding yourself with positivity right now, however, that you are willing to answer any questions about it to inform them.
Phew!
Thanking of you masses tonight. May the force be with you! Xxxxxx

If your son is old enough to listen to your explanation why you want to keep this choice private then that's the road I'd go. As far as the in laws... Yea I agree with someone who said earlier F*em...you married their brother not them and it's really none of their business anyway...had the same issue with my husbands aunt and the first thing she said was boy you look like you've lost some weight...so I said yea some...just watching what I'm eating...that worked but she's a nose bag and a control freak (not in a good way) likes to medal in people's affairs...she needs a hobby...anyway, be strong and remember we're rooting for you...you'll do fine and if the questions become unbearable just look them straight in the obtuse eye and say I'm not feeling well!

They need a good hard punch in the balls. But seriously, you don't owe them anything. Just change the subject if that's what you think is appropriate, or seize the opportunity and tell them. I (I know you're all surprised) err on the side of full disclosure. But that's just me. Secrets are too hard to keep. Good Luck.

Tell them you are following a special diet, two protein shakes a day and a small meal for dinner. It is working for you, and that is all they need to know. I used to call my MIL the "wicked bitch of the east", a title she earned many times over.

ann

I definitely think the decision to share your sleeve is your and yours alone. You shouldn't have to tell anyone that you don't want to. I can't give advice on how to keep it a secret though...I am and always will be one of those annoying over sharers. I have something on my mind and it constantly finds a way out of my mouth.

I have a friend that had the sleeve 3 years ago and only told her mom, her husband, and a few of us close friends. She lost over a hundred pounds in about 8 months and basically gave the explanation that she was just dieting and exercising. Which, I have to be honest, most people didn't buy. She has had to deal with people talking behind her back and speculating that she had the sleeve and she found herself lying over and over to cover the original lie. It's the one sour spot of the whole thing for her. I know she wishes she could have went back to the beginning and just told the truth from the start. People would have gotten over it and it would be a thing of the past. But now if she tells there will be a certain shame with her confession...whether she was ashamed or not she is giving that impression by having kept it a secret for so long. She DOESN'T have anything to be ashamed of, those of us that have known the truth from the beginning were there to witness her struggles and know how hard she has worked. But no one else knows. It seems like a lot of stress and worry over people who's opinions don't really matter anyway.

I think I would have been honest anyway but after seeing my friend's situation I decided to just announce it to the world. I got out my bullhorn and gave everyone all the gory details and whether or not people are talking behind my back, I personally have only heard positive things about my decision, (besides the initial shock from my parents but they got over it quick.) It is a huge relief not to have to hide anything. In fact, before I shared the news with everyone I asked my husband if he wanted me to, in case he might be the slightest bit embarrassed. He immediately assured me that he was nothing but proud of me, that he thought I was incredibly brave. Him saying that made me FEEL brave. And I know now that I can handle any ugly judgment that comes my way because the ones that really matter are proud of me.

Again, I don't want to give the impression that there is anything wrong with keeping your surgery a secret. It's your business and no one else's. And you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. All I'm saying is there are worse things than just letting the cat out of the bag.

Good luck!!

Sit your son next to you and whenever he tries to talk stuff some food in his mouth

They didnt need to know, you and your spouse is all whom mattered anyway. I made the mistake of telling my cousin and she flipped her wig. YOU SHOULD JUST EAT BETTER, WORK OUT MORE, etc. PLEASE! So it is the best decision to keep quiet. They going to talk about you know matter what.

You guys are great! I got home a little while ago and dinner was ok. No food throwing or bitch slapping.
As usual the Cinderella sisters (on point kerrykitten) were in their skinnys and looking all perfect (barf). So first came the wings and salad. Ofcoarse I didn't eat. I was saving my 4 bites for the pizza. I heard one ask my hubby "is she gonna eat?" He said "yeah" and left it at that. I played Barbies with the girls, yeah. I'd rather play barbies.....and I hate barbies....then talk to them. So pizza came and I took a bite, chewed forever etc, you know how it is. then the question came "are you sick, you haven't eaten"
Not, "oh are you on a diet? Since your 30lbs lighter then the last time we saw you?"
So now i must be sick if I'm loosing weight. Assholes.
I'm not looking for a compliment. I'm 223lbs. I'm still morbidly obese (I HATE that) but why can't you just say "your looking good" or "oh, your dieting? Good for you!"

whatever. they suck. My son didn't say anything, he was too busy playing with his cousin.
I'm glad it didn't come up, I don't want to lie but I'm not gonna tell all either.
The best part of my night was when I was getting dressed, my jeans were too big and I put on a smaller size and they fit comfortably!! The last time I tried them on I couldn't even get the button closed.
It feels so great to not be able to wear the jeans I always wore because they are too big.
Thank you all for the support. It's nice to just be able to vent about stupid people

Nights like that are why God made Xanax.

"Are you sick?"

Wings and pizza ... what skinny people eat.

It's simultaneously weird, funny, infuriating, sad.

Bless their hearts. And you did great!

I hate that your in-laws treat you this way. I would also keep to myself and might would have a talk with your son about a REALLY big Secret we have to keep. I love the excitement of children I did not hide my Surgery from my kids but we talked about this was a thing only Mommy and bring up outside of the home. in our home they could ask and talk to mommy and daddy as much as they wanted. My daughter 6 at the time of surgery was quite the Food Cop.."Mommy can you eat that?" it was sweet and funny.

Praying your dinner went well.

I am glad its over with....I have not had it done yet but I have told people in my world....I have gotten great support and some worry from friends and family...but anyone who says its the easy way out is crazy....flying to another country (in some cases) getting your insides pulled out and living on liquids for a month does not sound easy to me...sounds scary and hard but in the end will help me live a better life without agonizing pain...swollen legs and feet ...missing out on my sons life...i am so happy i have this opportunity i have no time for nay Sayers.....congrats...keep it up

I just wish like hell i was a fly on the wall with Ms Ann2....lol....but me and my sister was sleeved 1 week apart and we told "NO ONE"....people are to dern judgemental

Glad all went well and you did great...next time don't forget the onion rings!!! Lol
Excellent

Originally Posted by ChrissyD

I hate that your in-laws treat you this way. I would also keep to myself and might would have a talk with your son about a REALLY big Secret we have to keep. I love the excitement of children I did not hide my Surgery from my kids but we talked about this was a thing only Mommy and bring up outside of the home. in our home they could ask and talk to mommy and daddy as much as they wanted. My daughter 6 at the time of surgery was quite the Food Cop.."Mommy can you eat that?" it was sweet and funny.

Praying your dinner went well.

I have a 9yr old girl and 3 year old boy and they are both god cops lol "mom, can you have this, can you eat that?"