250 card
by
, 09-25-2014 at 03:52 PM (2624 Views)
Remember I said I was making cards for each pound I lose? Here is the card I picked to represent the scale saying 250.
Now before anyone says anything about my card project focusing solely on weight loss....yes it does. Yes I know I scream daily that this path (**see side note**) I am on is not about weight loss. But it is the easiest measurement and quite honestly I am not very creative so it was what I had. Deal with it. I am still not focused on the weight. It is what's on the cards that really matter to me.
**SIDE NOTE: I use the word path because it seems weird to say journey. I feel like I am talking about myself. As in my name is Journey so I avoid using the word journey)*
It is your life. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for living it your way.
Simple right? I don't think it is for me. But it is something I am working on. This path and this surgery is about making my life my own. I am not living my life on the fears or the guilt I have stacked over the past 40 years. I am moving onto a life lived for myself, my way. This adventure is about finding Journey and becoming me without the baggage.
After a recent thread here I knew this was the perfect card to take off the wall. I don't care what strangers think. I don't care what my family thinks. I lived much of my life for other people's benefit. I didn't do many things because my parents or my husband wouldn't have approved. I made them happy instead of myself. See I haven't always been overweight. Really just for the past 8 years. That was when everything hit me. I was so unhappy with the way my life. It wasn't the life I had dreamed of. I quit taking my medication and let my autoimmune disease get out of control. I gained so much weight quickly. It allowed me to shut myself off from the world.
I have a law degree and never even took the bar. I didn't have my 1st job until I was almost 35. Why? Fear that my children and husband would be damaged by me working instead of home taking care of them. Guilt because I had a working mother and so much happened while she was gone. Fear that I wouldn't be able to pursue the career I wanted and be dedicated because of my family.
Now though, I am done being that person. I have no desire to be an attorney at this point. I use my law degree to contract out work so I can supplement my income nicely. But now that my children are grown I am unsure of what I want to do the rest of my life. I am considering becoming a gypsy....