My daughter is in the army and they are moving a long ways away. I got the chance to visit them this weekend when they were just two hours away. It would have been the last time I would get to see my grandson for a long time.

I jumped.

I made hotel arrangements for myself, my husband and our three kids and we went up. We went to the zoo, a park and the beach for the day and then back to the hotel.

The whole time I was thinking: OMG, I am so fat. How can I stand to have them seeing me this way?

I was really hating on myself. But I realize that after my surgery and if I am diligent and follow the instructions, my life will change.

Near the end of the ride home, I got this huge pain in my side. This is the pain that signals that all is not right in Diverticulitis Land. I came home, took some tylenol and laid down. I also ate a food that I knew would induce diarrhea. When food gets backed up, pain ensues. Toast with butter makes me go.

Today I am not hurting, but I am going to go easy and eat carefully. Boy, the diet after VSG is selective, but nothing compared to diverticulitis and my post gallbladder syndrome.

After I have my surgery and have lost 100 pounds -- and if my diverticulitis is still active -- I am slated to have a bowel resection to removed my injured sigmoid colon.

I am not only doing the VSG to lose the weight, but to lose the disease of diverticulitis, as well. One perforation of the gut and I am dead.

So, I felt bad that my family saw me as the Fatty Von Fattenstien that I currently am, but I am more encouraged than ever to move on this process and get the clearance to sleeve and and leave it (the fat) and move on with my life.