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No time to think

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Today, Today, Today. My mother went to Mexico and had a lap band put in, she lost 140 lbs and was very happy. Then she got sick and was throwing up anything she tried to put in her. Found out that her band had twisted and cut off any way to get nutrition in her so she almost died of malnutrition. The weight loss surgeon on call that night came and removed it immediately. She started gaining weight again, so she went to Mexico and had the gastric sleeve done. All went well and she came home and lost some weight but she isn't happy with it because she can't get to a size 10 like she was when she almost died, she is in a 14. She says she would go back to the band and the sickness than to gain weight and be healthy. So with her success with the band, I went through the process with the insurance company and was denied, appealed it and was approved at 250 lbs a size 24. The band came undone and I wasn't losing weight so the doctor did an upper gi and we had to replace the band. So after not losing any weight again, I went for another upper gi, and the doctor found that my band wasn't around my stomach but just hanging there by a string. No wonder it didn't work. I just thought it would magically take away my pain from all the years of discriminating, being called names, being ignored when you go into a store, men don't hold the door for you, and just being in pain from all the weight. So I got this bright idea today to look into surgery in Mexico. My mother sent me 2 websites to go to. I went to weightlossagents.com, sent them my information and they called and said I was approved. I kept them on the phone and booked my flight for the 12th with surgery on the 13th. I have to stay in Mexico until the 16th for all the post-op things you go through. I think it all happened so fast for me to get my head together. I called, made a date, paid in full and here I am getting the gastric sleeve. I've lost 40 lbs since Mar by watching what I eat and exercising but I'm afraid that once I get to a comfortable weight I will gain it all back so that is why I am getting the sleeve. I want to be healthy. I have degenerative disks in my back, both knee's were totally replaced, I get shots in my heels so I can stand to walk in my house let alone outside of it anywhere. My husband told me that I'm going to lose the weight and find someone else. We live apart, me in CO and Robert in FL because he is there taking care of his father who is 86 years old and tried to vacuum the floor with a fork, then he drank a cereal bowl full of vodka with a spoon. Crazy, mean, and old. I never want to see him again. I went out to see Robert in Feb. Stayed with him and his father at the house and his father was so mean to me, I just couldn't imagine treating a person the way he did me. Robert warned me that he didn't like fat people. So I can see where Robert is coming from but I'm doing this for us, so we can live healthier lives together. I have to do this for me. Just so I can say for once in my life I am skinny. I just want to get to 175 lbs and then I will be happy. No matter how many times you hear that you are number 1, I love you's, you are the one for me, always and forever. I'm 45 and Robert is 56 so what are we going to do? start over in a new relationship? He is a mess because of this and he doesn't want me to go through it but he didn't want me to get my boobs done either but going from a DD to a C and then decide I want bigger so I go to a DDD. He wasn't happy about that but since he wasn't here to have his say, I ignored him. We Skype every night so we can atleast see each other. I would never leave him, he is my rock and he keeps me grounded. He is my protector.
So that is my first blog entry. I'll take my computer with me to Mexico and let everyone know how it went.
Peace, love, and happiness,

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  1. sociologist's Avatar
    Best of luck with your upcoming surgery. Hope you have a speedy recovery:-)
  2. Rerun4u2's Avatar
    Sound like you have your hands full. Good Luck!
  3. Terps's Avatar
    Dr. A is great, you are in good hands. Take care.
  4. Lee6Lee's Avatar
    Good luck....in every way!
  5. Toopie2Seater's Avatar
    I really tried not to laugh at your post but couldn't help it..... The fork vacuum and vodka. Maybe Robert's dad has a touch of dementia / Alzheimers?! It would definitely explain some of his behavior. Prayers to Robert who is courageous enough to assume care of an ailing parent and had to move from his love (you) in order to do so; that must be so hard for him. Congratulations on your decision for surgery. You seem very committed and I think you'll do great. Keep us posted! We want to share and congratulate you on your victory after surgery! Best wishes. =)
  6. Pamcake49's Avatar
    Best wishes for a speedy recovery and successful weight loss journey!