Deep Breath.... I know that today seems really dark. But you are here for a purpose. Even if that purpose is not the plan you had for yourself. You are special and have many gifts, please focus on those instead of the "what if's". I too struggle with the way my life has been to this point, and have learned to count my blessings planned or not. I will be praying for you.

Love and light,

Tracy

So sorry. Life is full of adjustments. Praying for blessings to come your way.

I'm sorry. I have spine problems also: degenerative changes, severe stenosis, bulging disc, spondylotheses (there's a very good chance I misspelled that last one). I've been told I need surgery. I'm hoping that if I can lose 100 pounds the condition of my spine will improve. At least I'll be in better shape for back surgery, and hopefully surgery will take care of my problems. You have done a wonderful job losing almost 100 pounds! I can understand your anguish, and I hope you'll find other benefits in your life brought about by the weight loss that will bring you pleasure and a sense of satisfaction and joy. Blessings.

Stalls suck and they happen to everyone. I would see your dr or nutritionist to see whats going on. Make sure you are eating enough by tracking your protein, water, etc. Myfitnesspal.com is great for that. My nephew has spondylitis and I totally understand your concerns. However, you may want to talk to a counselor about the depression. Between your medical issues, weight loss surgery and plateaus, you have a lot of stress. Seeing someone could really help. Best of luck:-)

I can't help with the motherhood problems you are facing, but I do know that a good therapist can help you work through your sorrow. I resisted for years, but after a few sessions was glad I went. They can't make problems go away, but can give you some tools and some compassion, and sometimes just having someone listen and give you their full attention can ease some of the pain. Consider it.

Also, exercise can not only improve your mood, but can help budge the plateau. With back trouble you might consider something in the water. Aerobics, swimming, even just dog paddling can work up a sweat. An elliptical on the right setting is easy on the back too. Maybe some modified yoga or walking with good shoes and on dirt if it's accessable to you because it's easier on your spine than pavement. Walking poles are inexpensive and give you added support and added arm work.

It's so hard to keep your chin up, I know. Sometimes it seems like just when you think you see the top of the mountain, you see the sole of a boot in your face shoving you back down a few feet, or even yards, but life isn't mountain peaks, it's peaks and valleys and more gd mountains. All we can do is keep going.

I hope you feel better soon and find something that gets you out of the fog & going again. Keep your chin up, no matter how many knocks you take on it. If anything, just out of spite.

Dear shalon,
i am so sorry for what you are going thru, i hope things get better god willing. please just take care of your health now make sure you see your surgeon and nutritionist to change your diet start exercising i agree with Froo72 water Aerobics are the best and there are classes in all the GYMs now included in your membership. Try the rush if you work somewhere where you can get a corporate discount or hunt for their promotion.
motherhood isn't about carrying a child to term . many women give birth but not all are mothers , there are so many unwanted children in this world , its sad go valanteer in child services you will see how many need a mother or a big sister figure you can be a foster parent . the purpose of our life is what we make it to be.
and you never know what god has for you in the future . many people were told no hope and god helped them thru it .
i would concentrate on making your surgery work for you. lose more weight and then go and get a second opinion about your spin issues.
may god be with you and help you thru your dark times

Don't give up!!!!! You are worth more then you think you are and even if you can not have a child, there may be a child that wants you as a mother.

Thank you so much for the support. Still stalled, but my fiancee has helped with the depression and we're looking into Fostering. So many kids having such hard little lives. He says we'll have plenty of room in our house to make a few of their lives a little easier.