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Rainbow

With friends like these....

Rating: 3 votes, 5.00 average.
So i was at a party standing with a group of girlfriends and a friend i hadn't seen in a long time started going on and on and on about my weight-loss. Don't get me wrong I am proud of my success! But i prefer when someone complements me then i say "thank you", then it's the end of the subject! This friend wont drop it, in front of everyone she says "no really i cant get over it, you have lost a LOT of weight!" I say "thank you" again and hope she shuts up, but she doesn't. she keeps droning on then drops the worst line ever: "Seriously!" she says "You have lost a TON!" I give her my brightest fake smile and in my most polite voice i quietly say "well, not actually a whole TON. But i did have a lot to loose, so thank you for that." She suddenly realizes how rude what she said was and starts stammering all over herself saying "oh i didn't mean it that way!" which only makes it worse because everybody standing there including herself knows that's exactly how she meant it, only she just now realized how rude it was to say! oh with friends like these...

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Comments

  1. TrailNurse's Avatar
    I am sure you look better than she does and that may play a big part in her comments. Point is, you look great and that is all that matters.
  2. Rainbow's Avatar
    Oh thank you TrailNurse, It was just one of many Awkward moments i was not entirely prepared for when i started this Journey! Just not sure which of us was more embarrassed!
  3. Msvetrn's Avatar
    Awwwwwwwww...well...take it in stride (is what my mom use to always say). I think you handled it well. One thing I wasn't prepared for was for people to literally walk away from me when I've told them I had the sleeve performed~and they usually leave even quicker when I mention Mexico! These are people I don't know...mostly older folks...like people I've met at the gym lately. It's like they are disgusted or something. I guess I could lie and say I worked it off at the gym, but....
    Oh well.
  4. Andreas decision's Avatar
    I'm almost 2 weeks post op and one of my friends told me " yeah I think your gonna need a tummy tuck after for the loose skin." Nice huh! We as women I think don't think things through before we say them. I mean you don't hear gut friends saying that to each other lol.
    !
  5. RZRrider's Avatar
    Ah friends. Is it hard for us to just say a compliement then let it go. You do look beautiful.
  6. New Woman's Avatar
    I've seen different pictures of you and no matter what size you were in them you were beautiful! As far as the weight lost congrats! We of all people don't need to be reminded of how big we once were, we know we carried it around! It was us who went through everything we have and counted every single one of those pounds as they left us forever! We know, thank you for seeing that but afterwards please keep all other thoughts to yourself!
  7. jallese's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Andreas decision
    I'm almost 2 weeks post op and one of my friends told me " yeah I think your gonna need a tummy tuck after for the loose skin." Nice huh! We as women I think don't think things through before we say them. I mean you don't hear gut friends saying that to each other lol.
    !
    I experienced that too! When asked how much I wanted to weigh and I said 125, my friend said the same thing. I think it's going to happen and we just have to be prepared for it so it doesn't bother us so much. My response will simply be, "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."
  8. jallese's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Msvetrn
    Awwwwwwwww...well...take it in stride (is what my mom use to always say). I think you handled it well. One thing I wasn't prepared for was for people to literally walk away from me when I've told them I had the sleeve performed~and they usually leave even quicker when I mention Mexico! These are people I don't know...mostly older folks...like people I've met at the gym lately. It's like they are disgusted or something. I guess I could lie and say I worked it off at the gym, but....
    Oh well.
    I don't get that attitude. When people have told me in the past that they had "weight loss" surgery, I always responded in a very positive and congratulative attitude. Well, we're all different, and we have to remember to respect that.
  9. JazzyJackie's Avatar
    Girl, I can't wait to hear my "so called friends" make those jealous comments.
    Alot will be made behind your back for sure. I will just smile ear to ear
    and say oh thank you, thank you so much, and walk away. I will not tell
    anyone about my surgery. It's too personal and it's something that only
    the person or people who's had the surgery will understand. I researched
    for almost two years before I commited to CHANGE my life. Keep up the
    GOOD work. Wls is a tool to help you change. Not all will agree.
  10. Cari_CRCO's Avatar
    I wouldn't automatically assume that she was trying to be rude. I think a lot of people think the more they say and the bigger deal they make out of weight loss, the better you feel about your accomplishments. While it's not very thoughtful, I'm not sure it's mean-spirited. Though I don't know this woman, so maybe she is just a mean person!
  11. Lglow's Avatar
    Rude indeed. You handled it very graciously!
  12. Rainbow's Avatar
    Yes Cari_CRCO you are right, she was not mean spirited, just clumsy! And there have been many who take the route of Making the bigger deal of your weight-loss to the extreme of becoming less of a complement to more of a "i can tell you now just how fat you really were and how much it bothered me" . That issue is hard to not be sensitive about and when it happens the best way is to face it head on with a response like "Yes my weight was really causing me trouble, that's why i had to loose it and i am glad i did"
    On a positive note, i loved the reaction of many who just get a silly smile on their face and stare at me!
  13. Cari_CRCO's Avatar
    Personally, I think it's just best to say "You look great!" And leave it at that!!
  14. st_sbloom's Avatar
    You handled it very well. I guess in a round about way the whole situation was an compliment. Having someone go on and on about your weight loss is better than people commenting on your weight gain (either to your face or behind your back). You know she left embarassed and jealous....
  15. Lily's Avatar
    Lol! That's funny! I was in this position a few years back... People try to complement but they don't realize that they are being totally hurtful!
  16. Lalena's Avatar
    Thank God I don't have friends like that. Relatives on the other hand.....
  17. gesibelle's Avatar
    Hi Rainbow,
    I saw one of your postings where you stated that you went to surgery alone and did not even tell your family. My surgery will be the 14th of April and I completely understand how you felt. My husband is really nerveous and afraid that I will travel to San Diego and subsequently to Mexico. Could you provide me a bit of your experience there?
  18. Rainbow's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by gesibelle
    Hi Rainbow,
    I saw one of your postings where you stated that you went to surgery alone and did not even tell your family. My surgery will be the 14th of April and I completely understand how you felt. My husband is really nerveous and afraid that I will travel to San Diego and subsequently to Mexico. Could you provide me a bit of your experience there?
    My Blog Post "my long painful struggle" tells my whole pitiful story! you will find it on page 3 of my blogs, enjoy!
  19. Rainbow's Avatar
    [QUOTE=Cari_CRCO;bt8633]Personally, I think it's just best to say "You look great!" And leave it at that!![/QUOTE

    Oh if only they would! I get so nervous when i know i am gonna be somewhere that people who haven't seen me in a long time are gonna be. Sometimes i feel like i need a stiff drink and a Xanax just to get through it!
  20. SpottedDogMom's Avatar
    Good for you for handling an awkward situation with dignity and grace. Hopefully your friend will be more sensitive in the future.
  21. Tilly's Avatar
    You have certainly given me an idea how to deal with this kind of situation in future. I'm already facing some nasty comments.
  22. Rainbow's Avatar
    Well after 3 years now it has gotten easier to handle this particular minefield! Because now most people are used to the smaller me so it doesn't come up as often, but even now there are occasions where i run into someone who hasn't seen me in a few years, but i have gotten better at keeping the conversation from getting out of hand! My own confidence in the new me is helping to keep it all in perspective!
  23. j5Yolanda's Avatar
    I work at a court house with lots of people and many people know me, so I have told everyone who will listen. I am trying to prepare them , because I am sure they will be shocked. Maybe I'm preparing myself. You did handle the comments very well. I would just say I know isn't it great and keep talking until they get sick of my journey lol.
  24. j5Yolanda's Avatar
    By the way you look fantastic!
  25. j5Yolanda's Avatar
    Very Grace Kelly
  26. teresalee32's Avatar
    I personally would have asked her how far along she was..
  27. Newchance-56's Avatar
    I totally agree with you. I have told 2 very close friends about my upcoming surgery. It is no one else's business.