Finished another Pre-Op visit!
by
, 05-25-2013 at 07:08 PM (1738 Views)
I finished another pre-op visit at my doctor's office (Weight Wise in Edmond, Oklahoma) and things are going well. I still have to lost 17 pounds by July when my surgery is scheduled, but I am confident I can get it done!
A lot more has been on my mind lately about my journey towards weight loss. I find myself laying in bed at night asking myself, "How did I get here?"and "Why didn't I act sooner?" I look back at pictures from my junior high and high school years and cannot believe I'm nearly 200lbs heavier now than then. It's been less than 10 years! 200lbs in 10 years?! It's just unfathomable to me, I suppose. I just don't understand how I went from being a total athlete, playing every sport you can think of, to being 350lbs with a bad back and knee problems.
I suppose others go through the same though process, I just am not used to being so analytical of the things that led me to being this overweight. I love myself and I have always loved my body, regardless of what shape I've been in, it's just that now there are things I want to DO that I'm unable to because of my weight. For instance, I couldn't ride ANY carnival rides with my 4 year old daughter because I was over the 300lb weight limit. That literally crushed me, I was so embarrassed I nearly cried. Luckily I live in a place where total strangers can be the nicest people you'll ever meet and another parent with a little boy offered to let my daughter ride with them. My daughter just couldn't understand why her mommy couldn't "get smaller" and get on the ride. Trying to explain to my daughter that mommy is just too big to do things like that with her is literally heart wrenching. I don't know what a heart attack feels like, but that experience hurt my heart enough that I have a pretty good idea.