Two weeks ago I was wound tight as a drum - it was the day before surgery. Certainly calm, but understandably anxious. Fast forward 2 weeks and I feel sooooo damn good. I fell less stoppered up, less fat, less overfed, less cumbersome, less tired, less bogged down in my life and waaaay more hopeful.

My decision was never about fitting into skinny jeans - not that there is anything wrong with that - it just wasn't what I was about. I was about stopping the slow decline into decay. It was about change and now I'm feeling the fledging start to that change. Those of you that are sleeved will appreciate that I'm at the end of my two weeks nourishing fluids diet - which has been surprisingly easy to do - and transitioning in the next few days to really soft protein rich foods to get my tummy working out on something solid. I'm looking forward to the change, but not desperate for it. I'm also aware that this will be one step forward and one step sideways as I find my way with solid food.

This is what I love - I'm taking all this change in my stride. I'm not doing the usual overachieving freak out, I'm not setting up unreasonable goals that I cannot achieve without putting myself under stress and then berating myself as a result for not achieving them. I'm just so damn chilled out..... I love it. I am at peace that I've done the right thing, I'm at peace that this will work and at peace that I can lose the strict 'diet' mindset that in turn sets up desire for foods that are binge foods and bring on shame and guilt. It is such a relief. Such a weight (excuse the pun) off my shoulders. I haven't lost as much as others in the same time frame - and I'm even chilled about that! Who cares? I'm doing this for me, and my body is doing the best it can given it's unique make up. The only little tug that seems familiar is when I step on the scales and don't see an enormous loss.... but it fades and I'm thinking long term and bracing myself for the time the stall/s hit. I need to get my head well and truly straight before next week so the 3 week stall is a mere blip in regard to my ongoing success.

I have no aversion to coffee or spices (tried a Thai Red Curry soup blitzed in the blender, watered down with more chicken stock, it was great). Smells don't bother me either. Apple juice and sweet things are a little intense but delicious if watered down. I'm meeting my water targets, the toilet and I are friends in all aspects and I've got to grips with getting in my protein shakes.

So where does that leave me..... simply a better version of myself. I have had the 'mother' of system re-boots and I am so very very thankful.