Brick wall is starting to come down.
by
, 04-17-2013 at 05:46 AM (1619 Views)
Day 9 of Pre-op diet.
Yesterday was hell for me. Today, much better so far. I wanted to share some realizations in hopes others can relate. I have been on a million and a half diets in my lifetime. I lost 100 lbs in 2005, and of course gained it back. The difference I'm seeing this time is I can only eat, or drink, a certain amount. The diet is very strict and you must comply in order to have surgery with this physician. I realize that in my past diets, Atkins, I could eat whatever I wanted as long as it was low-carb. This was a wonderful diet for me because I could still eat till I felt overfull. If I felt anxiety or stress I could just run to food as a soothing mechanism tool. This time I cannot. I am forced to deal with my life w/o food as an escape goat or soothing friend.
I have discovered I have a brick wall around me. I have torn down about 3 bricks of that wall in the last 9 days. I now realize I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to tear down that wall, the weight coming off is just a side effect. There have been tears, anger, self-pity and a many more emotions I'm not sure how to describe. On the bright side, I know I'm ready to do this journey and welcome all the hard work that goes with it.
I am so grateful the Lord has led me to this site. You guys are already a new source of "soothing friend" to me.
Thank you,
Cindy