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cbridges1962

Brick wall is starting to come down.

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Day 9 of Pre-op diet.

Yesterday was hell for me. Today, much better so far. I wanted to share some realizations in hopes others can relate. I have been on a million and a half diets in my lifetime. I lost 100 lbs in 2005, and of course gained it back. The difference I'm seeing this time is I can only eat, or drink, a certain amount. The diet is very strict and you must comply in order to have surgery with this physician. I realize that in my past diets, Atkins, I could eat whatever I wanted as long as it was low-carb. This was a wonderful diet for me because I could still eat till I felt overfull. If I felt anxiety or stress I could just run to food as a soothing mechanism tool. This time I cannot. I am forced to deal with my life w/o food as an escape goat or soothing friend.

I have discovered I have a brick wall around me. I have torn down about 3 bricks of that wall in the last 9 days. I now realize I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to tear down that wall, the weight coming off is just a side effect. There have been tears, anger, self-pity and a many more emotions I'm not sure how to describe. On the bright side, I know I'm ready to do this journey and welcome all the hard work that goes with it.

I am so grateful the Lord has led me to this site. You guys are already a new source of "soothing friend" to me.

Thank you,
Cindy

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Comments

  1. WaywardSmiles's Avatar
    Welcome! I too have gotten a lot of comfort coming here. Without fail, I come across somone asking the same questions I had or voicing a similar concern. And I am here every day. Best wishes to you...
  2. luke's Avatar
    I absolutely don't mean this disrespectfully, but I have to laugh a little as I read your post because I kept hearing Pink Floyd's "Another Brick In The Wall" playing in my head as I read about your recent changes.

    Hope that makes you smile.
  3. cbridges1962's Avatar
    LOL, Yes it made me smile. I love that song.
  4. MomMaestra's Avatar
    What a great picture you painted. Thank you.
  5. beachgirl's Avatar
    This is the real stuff so many of us are going through too. Really glad you posted it. The only way for us to be successful long term is to deal with these issues now. Tanks for posting!