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TX Sleeve

My story

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So, earlier today someone here asked for my story, and after I wrote this for them, I thought others might find it helpful, too, so....

Last October, my primary care doctor called ME to come in for an appointment - THAT was a first (I'm usually calling them & trying to get seen). I'd had my usual quarterly lipid profile a week before, and he wanted to talk to me about it: turns out, I had finally hit the point where they shift somebody from "pre-diabetic" to "diabetic" - plus I had poorly-controlled hypertension, sleep apnea (use CPAP), and asthma - and on that day, I weighed 383 lbs.

I contemplated my options with care, and finally faced what was stopping me from taking a direct approach (surgery): I was afraid others would make me feel ashamed for solving through surgery what I SHOULD have solved with willpower. And finally I admitted that willpower was never going to get me where I wanted to go: despite many attempts to "right the ship" and many years of exercise and dieting - and times of some successes, no doubt - in the end and over the long run, my weight's always just gone up and up. I also realized that those "co-morbidities" (hypertension especially) were seriously increasing the risk that I wouldn't live all that long, either. Finally, I decided that my desire to be healthy was going to be more powerful than my fear of shame - I simply wanted to be thin and fit SO much more than I cared about someone "shaming" me about having surgery. I was resolved to go ahead.

It took me a little while to go through that thought-process, and to get an appointment with the bariatric center that was recommended to me. But I did start making changes - gave up soft drinks, for example - and in early December, I saw my surgeon and really got the ball rolling (classes, psych eval, support group, etc.). On the day of that first appointment with the surgeon, I weighed 371.

I got thru all the classes quickly, and then I had to really convince myself to go forward with everything, because they pulled no punches in those classes, that's for sure: the strict post-op regimen, details on what the hospital experience would really be like, - all that was particularly daunting. It sure sounded UNPLEASANT, there were definitely RISKS that it might not go right / that I might have problems that would prevent me from getting the results that I wanted / that I might get outcomes that would put me in a position I didn't want to be in - PERMANENTLY. But, I kept working on the diet & exercise, and I kept pushing forward on looking into everything...and I kept thinking about what my OTHER options were.

I lost about 30 lbs by mid-Feb, and was loving the results I was getting: besides dropping weight and inches, I was getting back SUCH a great ENERGY level, it was WONDERFUL! And then...I started doubting that I really NEEDED the surgery - after all, just LOOK at what I was achieving on my own, couldn't I just keep doing what I was doing? Well, THEN I hit one of those great "plateau periods" where, despite sticking to the diet and continuing with the exercise, I didn't see ANY changes on the scale or with a tape measure (I know that looking at both is important: you can hit times where you put on muscle and drop fat, and while your weight might not drop, you DO get trimmer - but I wasn't seeing that...). That wasn't the only time I'd face that, and it showed me just how hard it was going to be to get ALL the way to where I wanted to go. Just like climbing a mountain, it gets tougher and tougher the farther you get, the higher you climb: what you did to get where you are becomes what it takes to STAY where you've gotten, so you can only make progress by doing even MORE, cutting back even FARTHER, pushing the pace even HARDER - and you have to do that despite the thinning atmosphere as you keep rising on the mountain. Although I'd had a nice drop in weight to-date, I started looking at how much further I really needed to go - and started to get a real sense of just what it was going to take to get there. And THAT is when I made up my mind that I HAD to go ahead with the surgery.

SO....I am one week post-op today, and each day is a huge learning process as I learn to live with my revised anatomy. The dramatic changes mean I have SO much to learn: how to stay hydrated, how I need to drink water CONSISTENTLY ALL DAY LONG (with so little stomach volume, I can't just "catch up" by drinking a lot all at once), where is the new "full" line in my stomach now, what exactly will things I consume make me feel like, and what will they TASTE like now (wow, some striking changes!). But I know that I am on my way to my goals, and I am SO excited about that, I just wake up each morning like it's Christmas (OK, maybe like it's Christmas while you have a head cold, maybe, as it's definitely not physically enjoyable to be "me" right now). BUT....I am definitely ON MY WAY to those big goals now.

Today, I weigh 321, or down 62 lbs from where I started 6 months ago, and 17 lbs down from the day of the surgery. And here are my goals (subject to change, but...gotta start somewhere!):
> 275 by Jul'13 - 5 lbs / week for 10 weeks
> 225 by Dec'13 - 2.5 lbs / wk for 25 weeks
> 180 by Dec'14 - 1 lbs / wk for 50 weeks

I realize some of these goals may be unrealistic, especially when I look at getting beyond 225 lbs (that's what I weighed when I got married; 180 was what I weighed in college). But I figure, "go high or go home" - be audacious, set high goals, and see how far you can go. What have I got to lose - besides weight?

I hope this is helpful to you. It's a little lengthy, but maybe sharing my internal journey will help you consider how you will go through your own thought-process.

I'm grateful I have the great support network that my surgeon's bariatric center provides, and it's been fantastic to have a lot of good in-depth conversations with my dietician / nutritionist, as well as with my cardiologist (who cheered when I told him I was considering this). I'm happy to try to help in any way I can. If you have any particular questions - realizing that I'm simply just another sleever like you, and that you really need to nail things down with YOUR doctor - drop me a PM, I'd be glad to try to help out and share what I've experienced and found out so far.

All the best, to ALL of you out there - especially those THINKING about it, wondering about it, and perhaps those about to embark on your new "sleeved" life. I won't sugar-coat this: it is NOT easy, you WILL have to work at it, there WILL be things that are SO terribly H-A-R-D yet to go through - but....what do you WANT for yourself? For me, this was definitely the best option I could imagine. Can't wait to see how it goes over the next few weeks and months!

"TX Sleeve"

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Comments

  1. niamh's Avatar
    Thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations on your progress so far. Same for me, I decided it was time to stop letting emotions like shame interfere with what needed to be a rational decision for my health. Happy as can be about it!
  2. WaywardSmiles's Avatar
    Congratulations on the loss so far. And thanks for sharing...I believe many of us had similar epiphanies. Best wishes...
  3. Dixie's Avatar
    Great post! Thanks for sharing! Good luck with your goals, but try not to be disappointed if your losing slows. Just keep moving forward, closer to the new you!
  4. shortcakesmr's Avatar
    Well done!
  5. speedracer's Avatar
    Thanks for sharing! Remember, realistic goals make more sense. Dont fool yourself. You dont want to equate not hitting a goal, with failure. Best of luck, keep us posted-
  6. needs2lose's Avatar
    keep us informed, keep up the work. you will get to those goals just dont give up