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Letting My Anxiety Get The Better of Me

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I haven't told anyone about my surgery except my husband & son, and my Aunt & Uncle. The only reason I have told my Aunt & Uncle is because my Uncle had gastric bypass surgery two weeks before I was sleeved, and my Aunt is my very favorite Aunt, so I knew I would get nothing but support from the both of them. My weight has been a topic of discussion and a sore spot in my life for literally as long as I can remember. I didn't want to share my surgery because I didn't want to hear it, ANY of it, from anybody (particularly in my extended family), whether it be good bad or ugly. I'm SICK of my weight or weight loss or gain being an ever present conversation card, so I burned it and blew it to the wind. But now, with a new sleeve, I find there are new issues cropping up, and since I haven't had time to develop new responses, my old go-to responses (like anxiety, embarrassment, and fear) are kicking in.

We are having some really good friends over this weekend that we haven't seen in ages. We are going to a Crawfish Festival on Saturday. My first thought was "oh crap, we could be there all day, I have to eat every 2.5 to 3 hours... wtf am I gonna eat???". I never cared much for crawfish (which being Cajun has always kind of made me like a German who doesn't care for schnitzel ) so even if shellfish weren't on my do-not-eat list, crawfish would be a no-go personally, and the thought of any other traditional festival food leaves my head spinning. I love corn-dogs, and corn on the cob, and lemonade, and dang-near any kind of meat on a stick, ALL of which are do-not-eat eats. I seriously doubt they will have a steamed fish booth. It will be too warm outside to pack & safely eat lactaid cottage cheese or egg whites, besides whatta pain in the rear. I honestly don't know what I will do. I figured all I can do is just wait and see, surely there'll be something I can have. Stay positive right?

Then my husband told me they will arrive Friday evening and will more than likely be spending the weekend with us. I know that company is about company, not about food, but when we've had guests in the past I've always made gumbo & potato salad or hub BBQed pork ribs & boudin while I made rice dressing & baked beans and mornings we've had sausage kolaches or waffles & bacon with strong coffee for breakfast. I'm really struggling with how to make an occasion special without making big delicious meals. In the past if I were trying to lose weight, I just blew off my healthy food plan for the weekend, but with the sleeve, not only is that not an option, but I am still on the soft food phase and have become lactose intolerant, so I am pretty limited as to what I can have.

After some consideration I figured I'll just buck up and discreetly have my egg whites & B12 while everyone else is having kolaches & coffee *sigh*, bam there's one meal down. I asked my husband how about he grill some salmon & vegetables instead of ribs & boudin Saturday evening, and he said it sounds great, so that's another meal out of the way (well, as long as he doesn't get hammered and burn the fish lol). But then I remembered they will be coming over after work Friday night, so again, what to do? I told Hub I guess we can pickup a pizza and maybe since I can't have pizza I can get some wings (?), but then I remembered I'm not supposed to be eating chicken yet and the wings are oily and garlicky, all I need is to be sick to my stomach all night with people to entertain. I'm at a loss for anything else quick and convenient. If it's not too late (because restaurants fill up QUICK on Friday nights in this city) we can all go out to eat, but when the guys get together they like to drink a LOT, so food with the bar tab will cost a fortune. And frankly, yes I admit it, I am worried that they will be wondering why I am hardly eating anything or not eating what everyone else eats. I don't mind telling them I've been sleeved if it comes to that, but I want to have fun this weekend not make anyone uncomfortable that they may be eating something in front of me that I cannot eat or feel like they should try to make special provisions for me. I'm just now starting to get over feeling like I am putting my husband & son out somehow.

I'm kinda freaking out. I totally know it's a ridiculous thing to be freaking out over, but I can't seem to get a handle on it. I need to vent, I need thoughts, I need suggestions, I need my therapist, I need a slap n' shoulder shake n' a wholehearty "snap out of it!" (that scene in Airplane just came to mind lol).

Has anyone been in my shoes? If so, take them off and give me some advice.

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  1. dackn8tr's Avatar
    Number one congratulations on your surgery!! Number two please remember to BREATHE, you can do this!! You'll get through this weekend just fine and will have a wonderful time with your company! I honestly think you'll have a much more enjoyable weekend if you tell them about your surgery up front, if not it will be the "elephant in the room" so to speak where you feel like you have to sneak your snacks and healthy foods. Just explain to them the basics and that you're on a special diet until your tummy is ready for "real foods" again then you can eat what you need to when you need to. At first i hated eating out with other people because they did feel bad for eating the things i couldn't anymore, but i just assured them it was honestly no big deal to me (even if it was) and we would just continue on as normal. At home I cooked regular food for the family (and any guests) then made myself something similar, if they ate burgers on the grill i'd throw a piece of salmon or some shrimp on and it was no big deal - i got the same "experience" that they did just a healthier version of it.

    As for the festival foods, can you have protein bars? I know the Quest bars are very soft and VERY popular, I also have tried Power Crunch which are wafer bars and would disolve easily in your mouth ... either of those would be an easy choice to throw in your purse and just pull out to eat as you need to. You might be able to find some skewered grilled meat there that you could try but if you do chew chew chew as well as you can!!

    I dont' know it that helped at all but I thought I'd add my two cents worth in. Stay calm, take care of you this weekend and enjoy the great company you're about to have!
  2. Froo72's Avatar
    It may have been your two cents but it was worth $2. Thank you dackn8tr, that was the best advice I've received in ages and it was much needed. I will look into some protein bars for the festival just in case so I'm not stranded and you make a good point about letting them know straight up. It will be saving me a lot of trouble. I appreciate it greatly!
  3. speedracer's Avatar
    What She said!!!!!!!! Love it

    I always wonder if we dont want people to know because A- We are shamed B- We feel like we have failed to maintain ourselves C- vanity/pride. I know I did everything I COULD to NOT tell anyone. If anyone asks about my scars, its gonna be the ole switcheroo- "Gallbladder" story LOL
  4. thenewmetoday's Avatar
    I told no one about my surg. Found it worked for me that way, still does although I have told a few close supportive friends. Sounds like a difficult weekend...suggestions.....feed them.....feed you. Keep your food handy so you don't have to think, if they wonder why you are not eating their food....you have had a bug and tummy is sore so no big food right now. Works for me. Good luck......My god that menu sounds like a coronary, not healthy for anyone. tasty though.
  5. finallydoingit's Avatar
    Speedracer, I am using the gallbladder story and hernia too. I did have that done too, people don't need to know all my business. I have told a few of my closest girlfriends because we hangout together a lot. other people don't need to know. I have also said I have been having problems with acid reflux that is why the special diet. I don't know that I am ashamed, people are just so nosy they will start watching everything you eat and analyzing it, etc.
  6. Froo72's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by finallydoingit
    I don't know that I am ashamed, people are just so nosy they will start watching everything you eat and analyzing it, etc.
    EXACTLY. I grew up with a hyper-critical family, they did that stuff anyway. I am tired of the scrutiny. Maybe if I lose weight and refuse to say anymore than that I am losing they will leave me the h*ll alone. The chance is slim, but I am hoping anyway. lol
  7. Froo72's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by speedracer
    If anyone asks about my scars, its gonna be the ole switcheroo- "Gallbladder" story LOL
    Clever clever. lol
  8. Froo72's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by thenewmetoday
    ...if they wonder why you are not eating their food....you have had a bug and tummy is sore so no big food right now.
    Also a very good idea.

    My god that menu sounds like a coronary, not healthy for anyone. tasty though.
    LOL Absolutely, nothing healthy about it, but it was indeed tasty. Truth be told, in the past after meals like that for holidays and special occasions I felt like a slug for days. :/ But before I got sleeved my weekly menus for me & my guys were nutritious and relatively low in fat & sodium, I just ate way too much & moved too little. I was a volume-eater, big time.