Froo72
Letting My Anxiety Get The Better of Me
by , 04-04-2013 at 11:40 AM (1467 Views)
I haven't told anyone about my surgery except my husband & son, and my Aunt & Uncle. The only reason I have told my Aunt & Uncle is because my Uncle had gastric bypass surgery two weeks before I was sleeved, and my Aunt is my very favorite Aunt, so I knew I would get nothing but support from the both of them. My weight has been a topic of discussion and a sore spot in my life for literally as long as I can remember. I didn't want to share my surgery because I didn't want to hear it, ANY of it, from anybody (particularly in my extended family), whether it be good bad or ugly. I'm SICK of my weight or weight loss or gain being an ever present conversation card, so I burned it and blew it to the wind. But now, with a new sleeve, I find there are new issues cropping up, and since I haven't had time to develop new responses, my old go-to responses (like anxiety, embarrassment, and fear) are kicking in.
We are having some really good friends over this weekend that we haven't seen in ages. We are going to a Crawfish Festival on Saturday. My first thought was "oh crap, we could be there all day, I have to eat every 2.5 to 3 hours... wtf am I gonna eat???". I never cared much for crawfish (which being Cajun has always kind of made me like a German who doesn't care for schnitzel) so even if shellfish weren't on my do-not-eat list, crawfish would be a no-go personally, and the thought of any other traditional festival food leaves my head spinning. I love corn-dogs, and corn on the cob, and lemonade, and dang-near any kind of meat on a stick, ALL of which are do-not-eat eats. I seriously doubt they will have a steamed fish booth. It will be too warm outside to pack & safely eat lactaid cottage cheese or egg whites, besides whatta pain in the rear. I honestly don't know what I will do.
I figured all I can do is just wait and see, surely there'll be something I can have. Stay positive right?
Then my husband told me they will arrive Friday evening and will more than likely be spending the weekend with us. I know that company is about company, not about food, but when we've had guests in the past I've always made gumbo & potato salad or hub BBQed pork ribs & boudin while I made rice dressing & baked beans and mornings we've had sausage kolaches or waffles & bacon with strong coffee for breakfast. I'm really struggling with how to make an occasion special without making big delicious meals. In the past if I were trying to lose weight, I just blew off my healthy food plan for the weekend, but with the sleeve, not only is that not an option, but I am still on the soft food phase and have become lactose intolerant, so I am pretty limited as to what I can have.
After some consideration I figured I'll just buck up and discreetly have my egg whites & B12 while everyone else is having kolaches & coffee *sigh*, bam there's one meal down. I asked my husband how about he grill some salmon & vegetables instead of ribs & boudin Saturday evening, and he said it sounds great, so that's another meal out of the way (well, as long as he doesn't get hammered and burn the fish lol). But then I remembered they will be coming over after work Friday night, so again, what to do? I told Hub I guess we can pickup a pizza and maybe since I can't have pizza I can get some wings (?), but then I remembered I'm not supposed to be eating chicken yet and the wings are oily and garlicky, all I need is to be sick to my stomach all night with people to entertain. I'm at a loss for anything else quick and convenient. If it's not too late (because restaurants fill up QUICK on Friday nights in this city) we can all go out to eat, but when the guys get together they like to drink a LOT, so food with the bar tab will cost a fortune. And frankly, yes I admit it, I am worried that they will be wondering why I am hardly eating anything or not eating what everyone else eats. I don't mind telling them I've been sleeved if it comes to that, but I want to have fun this weekend not make anyone uncomfortable that they may be eating something in front of me that I cannot eat or feel like they should try to make special provisions for me. I'm just now starting to get over feeling like I am putting my husband & son out somehow.
I'm kinda freaking out. I totally know it's a ridiculous thing to be freaking out over, but I can't seem to get a handle on it. I need to vent, I need thoughts, I need suggestions, I need my therapist, I need a slap n' shoulder shake n' a wholehearty "snap out of it!" (that scene in Airplane just came to mind lol).
Has anyone been in my shoes? If so, take them off and give me some advice.
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