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melissa.merrill23

I'm ashamed

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melissa.merrill23
, 02-20-2013 at 10:28 AM (1342 Views)
About a month ago my bff asked me if she could move her wedding date up and i told here i refused to be the fattest person in her wedding. That somebody could take my place as her bridesmaid if she moved it any closer than it is already planned for. This was NOT a joke! I was serious as hell and started crying.At the time i felt she had no compassion for my feelings knowing my insecurities and the surgery, she knew i was planning was approaching.

My whole life i wanted to me a bridesmaid and havent had the chance yet. And when it finally gets here, I am humilated with my wight and how i look and feel.

But this past week we went on a couples trip over valentines day (a year to the day they are planning their wedding). They were talking about having a baby and having to wait until after the wedding. And she said she wanted another baby so bad she'd be willing to walk down the isle pregnant. Thats when I felt an enormous guilt and my heart sank in my chest.

I feel so horrible as a friend and will probably be apologizing soon but I was wondering if anybody else had a moment of ...."My weight made me do it"??

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Comments

  1. Honey Bee's Avatar
    My advice, if you are interested...go apologize right away, its her day and not about you! Secondly, tell her to wait to get pregnant until after the wedding.
  2. Rainbow's Avatar
    I know the guilt you are feeling, i too let my vanity get the better of me and because of it almost ruined my sons wedding you are welcome to read about it in my blog "my long painful struggle"
    You however have come to your senses and i urge you to not waste any time in letting your friend know, it will be a huge weight off your shoulders and hers too! Dont beat yourself up too much, This is such a painful truth and I am sure your friend loves you! Let her know that you are there for her and will do your best to keep it about her special day and less about you! Good luck sweety, Ifor one ,am proud of you and your new found maturity! Love Rainbow
  3. dmgriffith92's Avatar
    I have done it without thinking the effects on someone else. We are human we make mistakes we have insecurities and her walking down to get married pregnant there's nothing wrong with that at all.
  4. flipflopgirl's Avatar
    We all make mistakes!!!! Apologize and explain you're feelings!!!! If she doesn't have weight issues it may be hard for her to understand BUT true friends communicate and work things out!!!! As someone else said "it's her day"!!!! Besides just think about what's to come for you!!!! It's only going to get better and better for you!!!!! Best of luck!!!!!
  5. melissa.merrill23's Avatar
    Thanks yall, Ive apologized and of course she said she loves me and understands. It was just a another moment overtaken by my weight. UGh