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Raven01

I dreamt with it!

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So I finally told my best friend the decision I've made about having surgery. Don't know why I put it off; she was so understanding and supportive... more than I thought. After the coversation I went to bed, and remember my last thought being how I might want to start getting used to sleeping on my back, so that after surgery trying to sleep won't be so uncomfortable. Fell asleep on my belly anyways.

I began to dream that I was home newly sleeved trying to get around. So far I've been really excited, and anxious for time to go by quickly, so I can find out if I've been approved, have surgery, and begin my weight loss. And In the dream I seemed content, but I remember it making me feel a bit afraid.

This morning I wondered... afraid of what?!, if I seemed so happy! Then it came to me... maybe I want this too much, and when I want something so badly I don't get it. Maybe this won't happen for me. And that is my fear! I feel that the sleeve is my Obie Wan Kenobi... It's my only hope! So now one of my vertues gets put to the test... and I wait (fingers crossed).

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  1. Ducklet's Avatar
    Hi Raven, well you may have found that if you want something badly that you don't always get it, but maybe deep down you didn't believe you deserved whatever it was?
    But the fact that you have struggled so long with your weight - and most of us in this forum know that our obesity problem isn't really our fault - you most definitely deserve your sleeve!
    It occurs to me that you might find 'positive affirmation' can not only make you feel more positive, but it does actually change your attitude! Every night and every morning say - out loud - 'I deserve my sleeve and my new life it brings, especially...... (fill in your next heart's desire). As time goes on, you will say it more confidently, and it will become part of you normal view of yourself. Whatever else happens, you will feel so much better!
    And never, ever refer to yourself in negative terms!!! Your self-image and self-esteem has taken more than enough of that!!! Every one of us on this planet is special, so don't forget it!
    I have recommended this technique to my parishioners when counselling, and some have told me amazing stories about how, sometimes within weeks, something wonderful has happened! You've nothing to lose, so why not give it a try?
    Hugs, Dee
    Updated 01-30-2013 at 08:31 AM by Ducklet (Typo)
  2. kambasha's Avatar
    Think positive. I felt like that to for a little bit but keep ur head up.
  3. kambasha's Avatar
    Oh yea, I'm a stomach sleeper to. What helps me is I but a pillow by my stomach at night so I don't completely sleep on stomach. It takes awhile to get used to it
  4. Loveme2013's Avatar
    I know how you feel. I wanted this so bad and was disappointed but then I turned it around and said, "I deserve it" and I decided to self pay. My surgery is coming up and I look forward to living healthier and happier. I am to young to die. You will do fine, we lived so long with disappointment that our minds play with us because it is our old attitude, idea and behavior that talks to us, so we have to change our attitude, idea and behavior and be more positive. It will happen.
  5. lookitsabird's Avatar
    1) You are the last chance, not the surgery-it is a tool to help you get thinner, healthier. 2) we think because we are fat, we don't deserve this or that, happiness, a great life, etc. Society is really the bad guy here, just as it is for any thing different than Ken or Barbie. But remember, Ken and Barbie are dolls. We are people with faults, sins, ideas, joys, good and bad behaviors, etc. This is now your focus, and that is a good thing, try to remember that we all fall down, but not all of us keep getting up. Just keep on getting up!!! right?
  6. trinalovespeace's Avatar
    i know how you feel. I am a recent sleever on 12/21/2012.. I was feeling excited and anxious.. Thinking about all the possibilities of a new body but wondering about the surgery and the outcome(what folks would say) i did not tell anyone but my hubby and a friend.. But the good overrode my bad feeling.. I think it is normal.. I am excited for you.. STAY positive .. focus on the GOOD