Originally Posted by Ann2

KerryPG -- you have learned this year that you possess a huge piece of life's most powerful magic: You can care for yourself despite life's nasty slings and arrows.

You aren't the first person on this board whose life has gone sideways in directions we never could have predicted when we started this journey. As you described, when people you love are suffering and you can't POOF! their pain away, you realize that some of the barriers you once thought were unscaleable, e.g., what we put into our mouths, how much we move our bodies, becomes child's play by comparison.

Yup. We are more powerful than we used to think we were. We're not perfect, nor can we ever be. But every day we can get up, suit up, and show up and be incredibly grateful for the opportunities to make it better.

Respect to you!!!!

<3<3 Thank you Ann2

KerryPG -- you have learned this year that you possess a huge piece of life's most powerful magic: You can care for yourself despite life's nasty slings and arrows.

You aren't the first person on this board whose life has gone sideways in directions we never could have predicted when we started this journey. As you described, when people you love are suffering and you can't POOF! their pain away, you realize that some of the barriers you once thought were unscaleable, e.g., what we put into our mouths, how much we move our bodies, becomes child's play by comparison.

Yup. We are more powerful than we used to think we were. We're not perfect, nor can we ever be. But every day we can get up, suit up, and show up and be incredibly grateful for the opportunities to make it better.

Respect to you!!!!

Originally Posted by Stacey03

Much love to you Kerry x

<3 <3 Thank you Stacey

Much love to you Kerry x

Originally Posted by AnnieStillG

Peace to your home, your hearts and your kids; it's very hard.....I mutter "still my monkeys, not my circus" a lot, lol. We have 6 "adult children"....

<3 <3 Thank you AnnieStillG

Originally Posted by sraebaer

I'm glad you are taking time out for yourself, it does help relieve stress. Prayers that things start turning around for your family, sounds like you and your husband are doing all you can.

<3 <3 Thank you srebaer

Originally Posted by KiwiGal

Sounds like you are a determined strong person. You have had an awful lot to content with yet you have kept yourself on track and even taken on a new job challenge! Well done you.

<3 <3 Thank you KiwiGal

Peace to your home, your hearts and your kids; it's very hard.....I mutter "still my monkeys, not my circus" a lot, lol. We have 6 "adult children"....

I'm glad you are taking time out for yourself, it does help relieve stress. Prayers that things start turning around for your family, sounds like you and your husband are doing all you can.

Sounds like you are a determined strong person. You have had an awful lot to content with yet you have kept yourself on track and even taken on a new job challenge! Well done you.

Originally Posted by Cheyenne323

Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family!

<3 <3 Thank you

Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family!

Originally Posted by LaLa2017

I know exactly how you feel! I have 5 kids too oldest 23 to youngest 16 and I really wonder if they will ever learn how to adult lol. You would think it would easier as they get older but nope. I’ve learned that the stress from their situations does not help me at all. I still parent but learning to let go of the reins as helped me the most. Each kid is different and that always requires different approaches which can be exhausting but taking time for yourself is a great mental vacation from it all. It’s hard getting that time in but worth for your overall health. Good luck and don’t forget to treat yourself!

You are right. The older they get, you have to change tactics. We are outnumbered!! :-)

Originally Posted by Christie13

I totally understand you. I feel that way with my 4 kids. Right now my 16F has been going through a lot of heartache and disappointment. To top it off she has General Anxiety Disorder so she cannot deal with it well and it is a lot of drama. But in it all, we have to find time for our self care or we will end up right back where we started. Hang in there. It will get better.

You are so right Christie13. I have to remind myself that I HAVE to take care of me so that I don't fall back into the old habit of emotional eating. Hugs!
KPG

I totally understand you. I feel that way with my 4 kids. Right now my 16F has been going through a lot of heartache and disappointment. To top it off she has General Anxiety Disorder so she cannot deal with it well and it is a lot of drama. But in it all, we have to find time for our self care or we will end up right back where we started. Hang in there. It will get better.

Thanks for your kind words about my mom KerryPG, I should be thankful to have her, and pray for more patience. Things will get better.

My favorite stupid kid story is when my son called at 3 am from college in Mississippi (we were living in Ohio) to tell us he couldn't find his truck.

I know exactly how you feel! I have 5 kids too oldest 23 to youngest 16 and I really wonder if they will ever learn how to adult lol. You would think it would easier as they get older but nope. I’ve learned that the stress from their situations does not help me at all. I still parent but learning to let go of the reins as helped me the most. Each kid is different and that always requires different approaches which can be exhausting but taking time for yourself is a great mental vacation from it all. It’s hard getting that time in but worth for your overall health. Good luck and don’t forget to treat yourself!

Originally Posted by sraebaer

I'm sort of going through the same thing with my elderly mom. Trying to move her to my state, after a month cleaning out her home in another state, and discovering she has totally lost her short term memory. She is so confused right now, not to mention the movers promised delivery last Saturday and we still have no idea where they are. She's at my house now. Waiting. Paying rent for an expensive retirement community.

Then is was funny how our sermon at church was about not worrying, how worry doesn't do us any good at all. How God said "Do not be afraid" so many times in the Bible. So I'm trying to let go and let God be in charge. I'm not doing well on the self care part because I'm afraid to leave her alone right now in a strange house, so I haven't been hiking and it's beautiful out!!

I pray things work out with your kids. It's such a tough age, part kid and part adult. Never fun.

I understand your concern with your Mom. It is hard to be a caregiver and a daughter at the same time. I was in a similar situation with my mom. She passed away 2/14/2009 and I would give anything to have even the toughest day back just to be with her for a moment. Especially now.
Sometimes self care can be just a moment of peacefulness or distraction. I have been trying to stay present so I can appreciate those moments before reality comes crashing back.
Best of luck to you and thank you for your kind words. <3

I'm sort of going through the same thing with my elderly mom. Trying to move her to my state, after a month cleaning out her home in another state, and discovering she has totally lost her short term memory. She is so confused right now, not to mention the movers promised delivery last Saturday and we still have no idea where they are. She's at my house now. Waiting. Paying rent for an expensive retirement community.

Then is was funny how our sermon at church was about not worrying, how worry doesn't do us any good at all. How God said "Do not be afraid" so many times in the Bible. So I'm trying to let go and let God be in charge. I'm not doing well on the self care part because I'm afraid to leave her alone right now in a strange house, so I haven't been hiking and it's beautiful out!!

I pray things work out with your kids. It's such a tough age, part kid and part adult. Never fun.

Originally Posted by AnnieG

You cannot fill others if your cup is empty, so well done on some self-care. I have adult children (?) and someone usually has a dumpster fire going on...I try very hard to support without sending the message I don't think they can get through it themselves. And I remind myself that God loves them even more than i do. And then I say the old Polish saying "Not my circus, still my monkeys". Peace!

Thank you for the kind words <3

You cannot fill others if your cup is empty, so well done on some self-care. I have adult children (?) and someone usually has a dumpster fire going on...I try very hard to support without sending the message I don't think they can get through it themselves. And I remind myself that God loves them even more than i do. And then I say the old Polish saying "Not my circus, still my monkeys". Peace!

Originally Posted by Christie13

Sounds like you are doing great! I totally get your blended family. I also have 4...2 from my first marriage and 2 from his. My oldest (20 M) is away at college so now lives with his father. My youngest (16 F) is with us full time. My two steps live with their mother but spend 1-3 nights a week with us. (14 M, 12 F) I don't use the terms step either unless I am really trying to clarify something. LOL. I always say I have 4 kids...because I do. I think I only usually clarify when something comes up regarding their mother or that they don't live with us full time. If that makes sense. And...to you I am sure it does. LOL.

It can get quite confusing for schools too! Since my ex-husband remarried and acquired two (step) kids and we are all in the same school district with 3 in the same school, it can make some heads spin. Even after all these years I am still called by my former married name. Sometimes it is easier to just go with it. The saving grace for us is that the ones I gave birth to look just like me and my husbands look just like him. Although we have a good chuckle when I was told that my step daughter looks like me. :-)

Sounds like you are doing great! I totally get your blended family. I also have 4...2 from my first marriage and 2 from his. My oldest (20 M) is away at college so now lives with his father. My youngest (16 F) is with us full time. My two steps live with their mother but spend 1-3 nights a week with us. (14 M, 12 F) I don't use the terms step either unless I am really trying to clarify something. LOL. I always say I have 4 kids...because I do. I think I only usually clarify when something comes up regarding their mother or that they don't live with us full time. If that makes sense. And...to you I am sure it does. LOL.

Originally Posted by Stacey03

You sound right on track Kerry. It's going to be a time of adjustments but I'm sure you will be on top of it and the gym will help! 26 degrees here in Queensland and sunny but not too humid yayyy! I might pop out for a run and enjoy the day too :-)

I am determined to travel to Australia one day. It looks SO beautiful. We are tennis players and it would be a dream to attend the Australian Open. <3 <3

Originally Posted by MikeMo

Kerry, that sounds wonderful! You're making great progress, and have a good plan in place. It's been wonderful weather in this part of the country, hope you can get out and enjoy it before the summer heat hits! Best wishes!

Aaahhhh yes, the summers. I lived in Arizona until I was 16 years old. I remember well what that heat is like. Dry heat is still HOT. Texas is almost as hot. I can manage the heat. It's the mosquitoes that eat me up that I could live without!

You sound right on track Kerry. It's going to be a time of adjustments but I'm sure you will be on top of it and the gym will help! 26 degrees here in Queensland and sunny but not too humid yayyy! I might pop out for a run and enjoy the day too :-)

Kerry, that sounds wonderful! You're making great progress, and have a good plan in place. It's been wonderful weather in this part of the country, hope you can get out and enjoy it before the summer heat hits! Best wishes!

Try the Think Thin Berry Crumble oatmeal. It is high protein and oh so yummy. I add a packet of Splenda!

Congrats Kerry. So happy for you!!!

Originally Posted by KiwiGal

What a fabulously positive post! You are going to have a great 50th with this attitude
Congrats and keep up the good work.

Thank you KiwiGal! <3