Stop watching it

BREATHE!!!!! Take a long, hot bath. We have all had those days where we wonder if it is going to work out. Eventually it does, just not the way we have planned it. Part of the issue may be the extreme changes that you are making to ensure you are hitting your goal. Pushing your body to its limits and stressing over every ounce is only going to frustrate you. Make sure you are taking in enough calories, that you are eating 5-6 times a day to keep your metabolism burning, exercising at least 4 times a day, and that you are taking care of you. Please take this advice in the loving manner that it is meant.

Maybe use more exclamation points?

Maybe you aren't eating enough. I truly believe that if you don't eat enough you will stop losing,,and not start again. Do some research on calories needed to lose weight.
Good luck..sorry for such a bad day.
I agree with Missy. I went on 2 volunteer trips to Haiti a few years ago. Those people are still living in tents after the earthquake in 2010. There are no lights in the tents and so when it gets dark after 6 pm they have no light! No headlamps, no flash lights, no toilets,,,They walk for miles with water jugs and wait in line for hours to get water.
Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for today and keep your chin up.
Terrie

The way I always put things into perspective is this: I ask myself this question: "Would any of this matter if one of my kids was fighting a terminal illess?" I know it might seem horrible to think about but it really helps me count my blessings. My kids are healthy and happy and I'm healthy and happy. There are parents in this world who are sitting in a hospital room right now watching their son or daughter die. Thinking of this makes me realize that my life is so freaking awesome. I pray for those parents and children, then in honor of them, I live my life to the fullest. Because it's very sad to be given the gift of life and health and piss it away worrying about 30 pounds. Love and peace to you.

Sounds like you had a shitty day, hope tomorrow is better. I would really like to see that list bet I would get a 7 and maybe add a few more. I have found that my survival depends on finding the humour in whatever is going on even if it's just me being me. You have a great sense of humour so I bet you relate. I found that I kept losing after first year, relaxe and don't sweat it, sounds like you have done great.

What I've learned from years of patrolling health and weight loss places is that, the less you have to lose the longer it takes to lose it. If all you've got left is 30lbs, you're going to go really slow. As long as you keep up eating right and exercising your body shouldn't hit "maintenance mode" just yet, no matter how far out you are. Take a deep breath and let it out slow, this can be handled.

I would be really happy at a size 6 pants, totally happy to be in size 6 pants the rest of my life. Sorry you're unhappy. I'm sure not a therapist, but maybe make a list of everything good in your life? Something to look at the positive rather than the negative. (Because as my husband always tells our grown kids, in life, shit happens.)

I wear anywhere from a 3 to an 8 based on the maker. It is more important for me to feel comfortable in my clothes than what size they are. I struggled with mild anorexia when I was in high school, so I have been mindful to not slip into those tendencies as an adult. I have been remaining steady at 125-130lbs since May. I struggle at times with my desire to be 10lbs less and what I need to do to remain healthy. Building healthy habits is more important to me than what I look like because I want to model good eating habits to my children.

I notice that my sex drive revolves around how I am feeling about myself. It is more emotional than physical for me. If I feel better about myself, I feel more in the mood. Also, I need to feel sexy. Would it help if you bought yourself some new naughty underclothes?

It sounds like you have changed a lot and he has not. I agree with trying to find someone to mediate this process of change, a therapist or a minister or a family member. If your husband is not willing to work with you and you really want to save the marriage, I would suggest watching Fireproof. Also, Welcome To FireProofMyMarriage.com offers additional resources to help work out marital issues. If you want to do things more independently, you could challenge your husband to complete the Love Dare with you. You would both have to work hard since this is 40 days of working towards building a better relationship.

This is part of the problem with women's clothing. The sizes are fictional and there is no standard. My wife is a small lady and depending on the maker of the pants she wears from a 00 to a 2. Now me on the other hand, doesn't matter who makes the pants a 36" waist is still a 36". Women all over the world would benefit if the used INCHES instead of some fictional SIZE to make their clothes but to many would go MENTAL if they had to purchase a 20+ waist size.

I say you need to STOP worrying about what SIZE pants or skirt you wear and use the MEASURING tape to determine your true sizes. Godspeed to all you ladies on your journeys.

Actually, I'm in a similar place as you, but it's more so body dysmorphia that drives me to the tendencies of restricting food. I still see myself as fat and when I'm full, I feel fat. I hate when my girlfriend reach over to touch my stomach, even lightly, after I eat... so I try to eat just enough that she doesn't complain that I never eat. If I feel like I ate too much on a given day, I increase my workout length or intensity. I reached my goal of 150 lbs a few weeks ago. I've fluctuated between 141-144 for a few days now, but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. I keep telling myself, 5 more lbs, just 5 more. I wear size 4 jeans in women, as small as 2 for several popular brands like Levi, and 5-6 in juniors. I'm working on accepting that where I am is not all too bad. I'm just under 5'7", so my weight is healthy... now.

Please reach out to your nutritionist to help gain perspective. A therapist can help with the mental side of thing. The road you're on can be very slippery. So far my treatment isn't working, so it's difficult to change your brain to accept something that feels true and natural to you. Congrats on your weight loss and best wishes with your self-image/eating struggles.

I hope everything works out well for you and your family, lundbergmn.

I have experience that a bit too. Sometimes I find myself fantasising about weighing 130. Not sure if I miss the losing or just think I am still not thin enough. I did not start like this, I have achieved my goal of health and feeling and looking better. I am 5'6" 72 years old and where I am now (145/150) is a healthy weight for me so I try to stay on top of it.
You are teaching and showing your son very important info. Great that your hubby was able to open up and share, that is what relationship is all about. Best to you and yours. Joanne ps I love you honesty.

My sex drive is gone too. I wish there was a magic pill,because I miss sex and the connection.

Don't give up!!!

Congrats on the new job.
On another thread about marital problems someone shared some advice from Dr. Laura. Now, I will admit that she gets on my nerves and can be a bit ridiculous. However, I did appreciate the particular advice that this poster shared. It was regarding being in a marriage when the spark is gone. Dr Laura suggest treating your husband as though you love him more than anything in the world, treating him like you did in the beginning of your relationship. Doing those little things that you used to do. It might be hard in the beginning, because it will seem a bit one sided. But maybe your spouse will be flattered by all the special attention and will begin to follow suit. The theory is if you act this way some of your own feelings will return.

I have decided that I am going to try it in my own marriage. In fact I started today. My husband leaves for work at 5 AM. I got up this morning and packed his lunch (like I used to) and put a note in his lunch that simply said "I love you and thank you for all that you do". I stopped on the way home and bought him a beer. I'm hoping it works. Good luck to you

I commend you for getting out of the house and getting a job. Social contact with other human beings of even the most casual kind has a big reputation for raising people's spirits. And look at all the people you now greet every day! You did good.

I suspect that losing weight has given you the courage to acknowledge the problems with your relationships for the first time. Now you need some help to get a handle on what you want for the rest of your life. It is very important to not let your husband sabotage your son's health and happiness.... Sounds like your husband is afraid of you pulling away and is trying to make your son dependent on him instead. This is abusive. Be the role model you wish you'd had. Find a good therapist to help you work through this. They are really good at helping you voice your new-found inner strength.

I think going into counseling for yourself would be good start and eventually con joint counseling with your husband. As someone else mentioned diabetes is not healthy even though controlled with meds. Further, your son needs for you to advocate for him and help him have healthy eating choices.

I can not tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
I can only suggest that maybe you could try to seek some professional counseling. You should not feel depressed. If not for yourself, how you feel and interact with your husband has a direct impact on your son. Maybe they can offer some guidance?

Good luck. You are special and important; don't forget that!

I hope things get better for you.

I'm sorry about your marriage problem. It may help if you and your husband see a marriage counselor and think about what made you fall in love with him in the first place. You should pray and ask God for his guidance. Get all the bad food out the house if he is having your son be his eating buddy.

I pray things get better soon!

lundberg, I'm sorry you're feeling isolated and unsatisfied. Like Sara, I would urge a safe place for you and your husband to communicate. It sounds like your relationship is pretty much the same as it's been for a long time. But your dissatisfaction with the status quo is what's new. Yup ... time to find out if it's possible for your relationship to change.

I understand about the friends bit. I dismissed two best friends of 8+ years several years back, one because she was living a life I did not agree with and she liked to come to me with all her problems and it got so bad I was having more problems with her life and problems than I was my own. The other because she stopped acting like a friend and even ditched me one night at a concert while I had an asthma attack from people smoking in my face all night. I reconciled things with her, but she's still a lousy friend especially now that she's a hardcore vegan and has a fiance who feeds her bad habits.

As far as your husband goes, the best advice I can give is if you want to save the marriage try and talk him in to counseling so that you both have a safe place to air grievances and you can try to not only address but fix your problems for once. If you think it can't be fixed or you don't want to fix it, try and end it as cleanly as possible for at least your son's sake.

Your life has changed and you have needs that are not being met. It's not always selfish to put you first and do things because you want to or need to.

I really hope you find the answer you're looking for and you can move on in whatever direction you need. Everyone deserves to be happy and healthy.

So sorry for your problems in relationships.
You didn't elaborate about what happened with your best friend so cannot comment there.
It doesn't sound like your husband is emotionally available and never has been. You cannot change him, only you. I don't know how big you were when you met him but you may have chosen him because he accepted you big. As you lose weight you don't need that, you want someone who is there with you, emotionally.
And diabetes is a serious disease,,even when on medication.
If he is heavy he probably doesn't feel good about himself either, so may not feel lovable.
I think you can fall back "In love" with a person you are no longer in love with. I have friends this has happened to.
I think it is time to sit him down and have him listen to you. Tell him that the lack of emotional connection has made you "feel" you don't love him. If he doesn't want to fix what is wrong in the relationship (counseling,,him not overfeeding your boy,,him losing weight so he can feel good about himself) then you ready to call it quits. But don't tell him that unless you are really ready to leave.
Perhaps you can go to counseling a few times to discuss this and then decide.
Keep us posted.

Can't offer any advice. I hope everything works out well for you.

Hope you get rid of that nasty cold soon.

Sorry to hear that you been under the weather. I also find it easy to get in the fluids in the winter time but mines is usually coffee or hot tea. I dont normally do the hot chocolate. My wife constantly has to remind me that we dont need certain things in the house because i still shop like a fat man myself. I still do eat some of them things but way less at a time. I recently found a little bakery by our house and I can go and get one brownie instead of baking a whole pan that I will graze on. Enjoy your weight loss and flaunt them boots.

Keep encouraging his dreams. I have a nephew who loved to play football. It got him a full sponsorship to the University of Virginia. He graduated with a Masters degree and no student loans. The big kicker was he got drafted in the sixth round of the NFL draft. He's now a starting center on a NFL team. You never know we're your son's dreams will take him. Let him see your success at weight loss as a motivation to never give up. Dream do come true.