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blanzillo87

New Chapter for Me!

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So I thought I'd give this thing a whirl. I'm exactly 2 weeks post op today! I'm so glad I made this decision because I need to be healthy for myself and my child. I was sitting and thinking about the poor food choices I used to make...My thought process,"Hmmm....taco bell sounds good but I really want a piece of crispy chicken.Oh hell I'll get a cpl of tacos then go to the KFC drive through and get a meal for later so I won't have to get back out."I thought this was normal because it became routine for me! You try to educate yourself on the surgery and read all you can before finally being approved but no one really tells you about the mental hell you go through by simply not being able to chew food for two weeks. I will admit I broke down on day 5 and chewed a piece of food just to get the flavor and then spit it out.When I was caught doing this by my 8yr old I felt ashamed and said to myself,"get your shit together girl!you did this to your body and now it's time to suck it up!" So I got it in my head to walk asmuch as I can and stick with the full liquid diet that my surgeon has put me on. I'm happy to say that i'm down 18lbs in 14 days. I didn't think it was going to happen that fast but it is! My family is starting to tell by saying,"your face looks so much smaller," or"your back doesnt look as wide." You forget little things after hiding behind your weight for so long. I forgot that I have a beautiful smile. I got to the point where I would never show my teeth because it would make my face look fatter smiling with an open mouth/. what a crazy thought process! Like I said I'm new at blogging and hopefully will get better with each time I do this. I really want to keep a record of my thoughts&emotions through this journey and hopefully help somebody out if they are going through the same thing I am

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Comments

  1. Little Verbena's Avatar
    Congratulations. Not just on your weight loss so far, though that is wonderful. But also, congrats on getting in touch with yourself and your emotions. This isn't just a journey of weighing and measuring food, but one of learning new habits and taking in new information and in the process learning a whole new you. And how wonderful that your daughter is young enough to see your changes and hopefully this will help her learn a better way of eating so she avoids what we all went through.
  2. lmdee73's Avatar
    "I forgot that I have a beautiful smile. I got to the point where I would never show my teeth because it would make my face look fatter smiling with an open mouth/. what a crazy thought process!"

    OMG! I have had this very thought and literally had to ask people to retake pics because my face looked fat! I commend you for starting a blog. Sometimes it's just good to get something "on paper" so to speak. It helps to put things in perspective. I've often heard that the eating part of this lifestyle is the easiest. The mental journey will be, by far, the hardest part for me, which is exactly why I wanted a place I could jot down my thoughts, negative and positive, so that I will always remember what I am feeling and when. Five years from now I want to look back and say without a doubt that although I am the same person, I've learned from my past and am in a better place mentally than I was when I started.

    Good for you! Congrats on your success so far!
  3. blanzillo87's Avatar
    thank you guys for your sweet comments! My son is very into healthy eating. He's the child that take celery & carrots to school for snack...he also orders salads at lunch time. I guess I put all of my worry into being healthy into him at an early age. But he has always made the right food choices. Even scolding me on mine in the past!
  4. lmdee73's Avatar
    Funny how WE are supposed to be the examples to our children and sometimes it is THEY who lead us! Gotta love 'em!!!!
  5. blanzillo87's Avatar
    isn't it crazy?!
  6. Metread's Avatar
    You're doing great, and FYI: I go to Taco Bell and get a soft taco and just eat the filling (about half, actually).
  7. Lmtjude's Avatar
    You look great. For the first time in many years I do not mind having my photo taken. I would always hide when the camera came out. I love that I feel good about myself to have photos taken with my grand babies. We are all on this journey together. Isn't it wonderful to have a safe place to discuss our issues.
  8. blanzillo87's Avatar
    it reallyis because you guys understand exactly what im going through!
  9. lil_lisa's Avatar
    the first thing someone told me is my face looked thinner, who would think of that?