Well today is the day. It has sort of snuck up on me this last 2 weeks. I do remember when I was a month out thinking to myself that it was going to take forever.

Anyway I'm not packed, or ready or anything really.

I am hoping that I get a few days rest whilst I am in hospital as work has been pushing me to the limit with long hours and working seven days a week for the last month and a half.

I have taken almost 3 weeks off hopefully I get to enjoy the time off and am not in agony.

I have small problem whereby the drugs they give me metabolise too quickly (pity it doesn't happen to food!) and the drugs don't work. I may be lucky and feel relaxed but the pain is exacerbated (or magnified). So this is the thing that is really concerning for me.

I am living with constant dread about having the surgery and it not working. My brain keeps on telling me it is another fad and that it wont last. Damn you to hell internal dialogue.

I have struggled with the pre - opt diet. I was on 3 optifast shakes a day (they are awful!) 2 pieces of fruit and a cup of veggies.

I have tried so many different types of shakes to try and make it bearable but in the process have developed a rash over most of my body from the milk products.

I have lost 5kg in the time prior to surgery, though when I was weighed in the rooms just over a month ago I was 4kg Lighter than my highest pre opt weight. So I have only really lost 1kg.

I couldn't get a hold of the surgery to discuss other alternatives for food. I had read on many of these forums that people actually got to eat a proper meal once a day. I did this a few times, just had a cup of salad with some steamed chicken.

Well enough of my anxious talk. I will see you all on the other side.

Take care

Foxie xxx