I have been racking my brain for days saying, surgery is in “X” amount of days what are my goals? What do I want most? Will I be happy at 160 pounds? Would I be happier at 130 pounds? What if my husband isn’t attracted to me anymore? How am I going to afford clothes? What would I do if someone actually hit on me? (BTW - No that has NEVER happened!) Would it be that bad?
SO I sat down and wrote out dates of what I would like to be at and hopefully I can update this as I get to them I’ll start ...

So I went to my 3rd NUT appt today... The dietitician thought it would be ok for it to be my last appointment since I've had my 3 required appointments but apparently not! It has to be 3 appts stretched over 90 days between the first and the last. This usually wouldn't stress me out BUT I have to have this surgery by 12/31 or I dont know if I could afford to come up with my out of pocket deductible two years in a row. This will put the Dr's office getting all of their information on 11/18, then ...

No No No, not for the surgery I'm getting the surgery! I can't wait. I will be finished with all the pre-op stuff on Nov 10th and then they will submit to my insurance and I will have surgery by the end of the year.

I was discussing with my husband our plans for 2015. We typically start talking about what vacations we want to take with and without the kids, our anniversary and birthdays. I told him that in Feb for my birthday i really wanted to be able to fit into and buy me a pair ...

Today at 11:30 I check in for my EDG... I'm terrified of being put under. I have to get over this fear, I have to get over this fear....

I haven't had anything to eat or drink since 8pm last night, I'm not hungry but I am thirsty.

I can't really remember what they are looking for or why I'm doing this. I've never really had acid reflux.

Anyways, praying this goes smooth!

I spoke with one of the therapist that I have to go to for my psyc evaluation. Being me and wanting to be informed, I asked "what's the purpose?" "why would I fail this step in the process?" Her answers kinda floored me. She was explaining that I would need to find ways of cooping since I can't turn to food anymore. When I told her I have never been the type of person, "I'm stressed out so lets go eat even though I'm not hungry until I'm sick." She said she was shocked ...