When someone says "Your post doesn't bother me" right after they just ranted about a post, I call BS. Yeah, it bothered ya.....

Originally Posted by kaythleen

This is a free open blog people write whatever they want. If u don't like it don't read it... if they cry or laugh or complaint is everyone's problems. If they wanna use the f#÷×no scale every day is not ur business don't read.. ahhh!!! And ur post don't bother me you get mad with others people post...good night..

First of all Kaythleen..... As you stated, *this is a free open blog people write whatever they write whatever they want*....

Am I not free to *write whatever*?

Second of all, who is mad??? I don't recall my post stating that I was mad! Please do not subject your feelings about my post and decide that how you are responding to my post is my truth! Mad, no... annoyed at the whiners, yes... There is a difference my dear....

You can't have your pie and cake too!


Have a great day!

Originally Posted by drwatsonjd

And here I thought this was a support group.

You all are trying to compare the middle or end of your journey to the beginning of someone else's.

This is a support group! However, I choose not to support the negativity that is an outlet for people who come on here and whine about why they aren't losing wt. or whine that the scale numbers did not read the number they were wanting.... I used to ALLOW the scale's number to affect my mental health.... this is just pure BS.... The scale was becoming an emotional crutch and I already had/have so many issues revolving around food and my emotions....

I went to therapy...I con't to go to therapy when I need to. I am learning how to live my life, deal with stress, be happy or sad and NOT used food as my drug of choice just because I had a bad day, a happy day, the scale day or a FU kind of day....

So yes, this is a support group and I am supporting the changes we all need to make as we live our wonderful lives as a sleeved human being...

Originally Posted by HGfromOmaha

It absolutely is a support group but in ANY support group, you have to do the work. And sometimes, that work involves this thing called "RESEARCH"! How about reading the other posts and seeing what other people have to say so that you realize that you're not alone? 99% of the people that whine and snot themselves, are the ones who just pop on here, don't post nothing but "woe is me".

Well, look around. You see lots of "Great job! Congratulations! Sweet! Way to go!"And all sorts of other encouragement. Some people have other issues and those are addressed as well. There's plenty of support.

But for some people to not even try to read the posts and see what others have put up? Yeah, I call BS on that. All day long, that's BS. Read the damn forums and do some research. It seems like everybody else has. Obesity wasn't discovered last night. It's been around for centuries and we're here to support folks who have a positive attitude and want this tool to work. If you're in here every other day, snotting your nose about not losing weight fast enough, someone is going to get tired of reading that and will say so.

And if you look at the comments in this thread, PLENTY of people feel that way.

Do the damn research!

I didn't read your response until after I had already written mine! I could have saved time and just said *DITTO, what he said*! LOL

To original poster: Profound....thank you!

Originally Posted by HGfromOmaha

It absolutely is a support group but in ANY support group, you have to do the work. And sometimes, that work involves this thing called "RESEARCH"! How about reading the other posts and seeing what other people have to say so that you realize that you're not alone? 99% of the people that whine and snot themselves, are the ones who just pop on here, don't post nothing but "woe is me".

Well, look around. You see lots of "Great job! Congratulations! Sweet! Way to go!"And all sorts of other encouragement. Some people have other issues and those are addressed as well. There's plenty of support.

But for some people to not even try to read the posts and see what others have put up? Yeah, I call BS on that. All day long, that's BS. Read the damn forums and do some research. It seems like everybody else has. Obesity wasn't discovered last night. It's been around for centuries and we're here to support folks who have a positive attitude and want this tool to work. If you're in here every other day, snotting your nose about not losing weight fast enough, someone is going to get tired of reading that and will say so.

And if you look at the comments in this thread, PLENTY of people feel that way.

Do the damn research!

I understand that people need to read and research. It's one thing to post "I haven't lost weight, I don't know what's happening" as opposed to "I have stalled out and I just want to vent about being frustrated about it." There are many people that post (including you HGfromOmaha) just to vent about events and occurrences. I don't see what's wrong with that? Just because it's an experience that everyone has doesn't invalidate it.

The point is to be supportive of people's struggle and journey. Yes, people could do a quick search of the word stall before they post a question. I just don't understand the outrage that people posting repetitive questions causes amongst this group. Ignore it if you don't want to answer. However, to berate someone for expressing a frustration, I feel is wrong and not keeping with the idea of a support group.

For me, that is like someone going to an AA meeting and saying "I was tempted to drink today" and some jerk stands up in the back and says "Hell, we are all tempted to drink. Didn't you read the pamphlet. You're going to be tempted to drink. No one wants to hear about it."

You once said in your blog, and I quote "It's also true that when people have complained, I've seen hundreds of time where people try to encourage them to keep trying, be patient and all other tricks to beat stalls, food issues, and even emotional problems. So this has been a caring group."

So what happened to that?

Originally Posted by Graciegurl

This is a support group! However, I choose not to support the negativity that is an outlet for people who come on here and whine about why they aren't losing wt. or whine that the scale numbers did not read the number they were wanting.... I used to ALLOW the scale's number to affect my mental health.... this is just pure BS.... The scale was becoming an emotional crutch and I already had/have so many issues revolving around food and my emotions....

I went to therapy...I con't to go to therapy when I need to. I am learning how to live my life, deal with stress, be happy or sad and NOT used food as my drug of choice just because I had a bad day, a happy day, the scale day or a FU kind of day....

So yes, this is a support group and I am supporting the changes we all need to make as we live our wonderful lives as a sleeved human being...

You stated you used to allow the scale to affect your mental health. So as a person that had that state of mind, why are you so critical of other people that have a similar state of mind? You are on the other side of it, and that is great. But why not just impart some of the wisdom you obtained in your journey? Not everyone is where you are. I don't see what is so difficult about having some understanding about that.

I am definitely not saying you should support negativity. I don't think that would benefit anyone. I'm just saying not everyone benefits from the "put your big girl panties on and shut the f*uck up" method either. For example, your blog entry from 5/2/14 covered some of these same issues. I personally got more out of that type of inspiring message, than I did from the above rant.

Originally Posted by drwatsonjd

You stated you used to allow the scale to affect your mental health. So as a person that had that state of mind, why are you so critical of other people that have a similar state of mind? You are on the other side of it, and that is great. But why not just impart some of the wisdom you obtained in your journey? Not everyone is where you are. I don't see what is so difficult about having some understanding about that.

I am definitely not saying you should support negativity. I don't think that would benefit anyone. I'm just saying not everyone benefits from the "put your big girl panties on and shut the f*uck up" method either. For example, your blog entry from 5/2/14 covered some of these same issues. I personally got more out of that type of inspiring message, than I did from the above rant.

Sigh......Thanks for your input and happy that you enjoyed my post of 5/2/14... I can't please everyone and I don't even try....
I have always been outspoken, say what I mean and mean what I say... I don't sugar coat!

You have a great day!

Originally Posted by drwatsonjd

I understand that people need to read and research. It's one thing to post "I haven't lost weight, I don't know what's happening" as opposed to "I have stalled out and I just want to vent about being frustrated about it." There are many people that post (including you HGfromOmaha) just to vent about events and occurrences. I don't see what's wrong with that? Just because it's an experience that everyone has doesn't invalidate it.

The point is to be supportive of people's struggle and journey. Yes, people could do a quick search of the word stall before they post a question. I just don't understand the outrage that people posting repetitive questions causes amongst this group. Ignore it if you don't want to answer. However, to berate someone for expressing a frustration, I feel is wrong and not keeping with the idea of a support group.

For me, that is like someone going to an AA meeting and saying "I was tempted to drink today" and some jerk stands up in the back and says "Hell, we are all tempted to drink. Didn't you read the pamphlet. You're going to be tempted to drink. No one wants to hear about it."

You once said in your blog, and I quote "It's also true that when people have complained, I've seen hundreds of time where people try to encourage them to keep trying, be patient and all other tricks to beat stalls, food issues, and even emotional problems. So this has been a caring group."

So what happened to that?

Yep, you're absolutely right that I did say that and that is an excellent quote. And you also prove my point in that you were able to go and find my post, read it, quote it verbatim, and understand what I meant.

Some people, not all, are just lazy. Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? Some people need to have a reality check as to what is realistic and what isn't. Even as a newbie to the group, I read enough to know that stalls were going to happen and I also read enough to know that time was my friend. I READ!

It's one thing to say "I had a stall but I know this is a process." But then it's another thing to say "Hi! I'm new! I lost 50 lbs in 2 months and now I'm stuck. Help!"

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? You know, I know and my dead Grandma (RIP Granny) knows that the person who posts this type of post hasn't read the stories or posts that people put up. If your choice is to only read the positive posts where people are telling you well things are going, but you're ignoring the stall parts and the posts where people speak of other issues that they're having, then you're being unrealistic and doing yourself a disservice.

Now the truth of the matter is that this is a major surgery. You are removing a sizable portion of your stomach. Why in the bloody, blue h#%$% wouldn't you read as much as possible about what the effects of the surgery are?

I post things in my blog for 2 reasons; I share my experiences of my life returning to what it was and I've also shared mistakes I've made so that others won't repeat them. And from the responses I've received, it seems like me noting things about food and how it affected me seems to have helped some people. My posts, specifically about my bicycle adventures, seem to encourage some people to actually get into cycling. So the net result has been a positive one and that's my only goal is to bring a helpful portrayal of my personal journey.

Yep. I get it. Not every journey is the exact same but one thing all journeys appear to have is a stall of some sort. I haven't had a stall yet but it will happen. Or maybe I am having stalls but because of this forum, I chose not to weigh myself every freaking day! When I was obese, I didn't get on the scale every day and say "Damn, I gained a pound today!" No, I didn't do that. Why in the hell would I get on a scale every day to see if I lost a pound? I didn't love the scale then, why should I feel the need to fall in love with it now? Because it's moving where I want it?

I'm not berating anyone specifically. I stated a fact. That's just the way I see it. I'll support anyone who is honestly trying and doing the right things and they are having real problems. But people who have only been doing this as long as I have or less and are bitching? Nope. Not gonna do it. I would be doing them a disservice. I love helping and encouraging people. I have sympathy for people. But do the research. It's that simple.

Originally Posted by HGfromOmaha

Yep, you're absolutely right that I did say that and that is an excellent quote. And you also prove my point in that you were able to go and find my post, read it, quote it verbatim, and understand what I meant.

Some people, not all, are just lazy. Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? Some people need to have a reality check as to what is realistic and what isn't. Even as a newbie to the group, I read enough to know that stalls were going to happen and I also read enough to know that time was my friend. I READ!

It's one thing to say "I had a stall but I know this is a process." But then it's another thing to say "Hi! I'm new! I lost 50 lbs in 2 months and now I'm stuck. Help!"

Let's cut to the chase, shall we? You know, I know and my dead Grandma (RIP Granny) knows that the person who posts this type of post hasn't read the stories or posts that people put up. If your choice is to only read the positive posts where people are telling you well things are going, but you're ignoring the stall parts and the posts where people speak of other issues that they're having, then you're being unrealistic and doing yourself a disservice.

Now the truth of the matter is that this is a major surgery. You are removing a sizable portion of your stomach. Why in the bloody, blue h#%$% wouldn't you read as much as possible about what the effects of the surgery are?

I post things in my blog for 2 reasons; I share my experiences of my life returning to what it was and I've also shared mistakes I've made so that others won't repeat them. And from the responses I've received, it seems like me noting things about food and how it affected me seems to have helped some people. My posts, specifically about my bicycle adventures, seem to encourage some people to actually get into cycling. So the net result has been a positive one and that's my only goal is to bring a helpful portrayal of my personal journey.

Yep. I get it. Not every journey is the exact same but one thing all journeys appear to have is a stall of some sort. I haven't had a stall yet but it will happen. Or maybe I am having stalls but because of this forum, I chose not to weigh myself every freaking day! When I was obese, I didn't get on the scale every day and say "Damn, I gained a pound today!" No, I didn't do that. Why in the hell would I get on a scale every day to see if I lost a pound? I didn't love the scale then, why should I feel the need to fall in love with it now? Because it's moving where I want it?

I'm not berating anyone specifically. I stated a fact. That's just the way I see it. I'll support anyone who is honestly trying and doing the right things and they are having real problems. But people who have only been doing this as long as I have or less and are bitching? Nope. Not gonna do it. I would be doing them a disservice. I love helping and encouraging people. I have sympathy for people. But do the research. It's that simple.

I see where you are coming from now. That seems perfectly fair to me.

Well I am not on the defensive since I have not had surgery yet, but I think that a little more empathy is needed.
Any one person may be down and not rational at any given time. They know everything in the replies here , but need encouragement...encouragement...that is why they are here.
We have all been on diets where the scale doesn't move and I am sure it probably feels the same to them in the moment.
Poster,,,have you ever felt that way? Was it rational? Did someone chew you out?
Be kind to people,,,they are here for kindness, not impatience or exasperated people who may be further along in their journey,,emotionally or otherwise.

Originally Posted by terrora

Well I am not on the defensive since I have not had surgery yet, but I think that a little more empathy is needed.
Any one person may be down and not rational at any given time. They know everything in the replies here , but need encouragement...encouragement...that is why they are here.
We have all been on diets where the scale doesn't move and I am sure it probably feels the same to them in the moment.
Poster,,,have you ever felt that way? Was it rational? Did someone chew you out?
Be kind to people,,,they are here for kindness, not impatience or exasperated people who may be further along in their journey,,emotionally or otherwise.

As I stated, some people may not like what I have to say.... Sorry, I am not going to change what I have written just to make you feel warm and comfy. I absolutely dole out the support in this group and I even have a group called, Positive Thinking That Lead To Positive Changes

Feel free to check it out! You don't agree with what I have written, move on. And before you decide that you have an idea of what I am all about??? Read all of my posts and check out my group and please do not assume that I am not kind!

Have a wonderful evening!

Graciegurl you need to stop reading my thoughts and get out of my head. I have been wanting to write this for a while now but experience from working in this Politically Correct world that we now live in has stopped me. I am not one that likes the TRUTH candy coated in any shape, way or form. Since I have started on this site over a year ago, I have seen many people come and go. I will say that it appears to be more and more of the "WOE IS ME" type of post then ever before. I have been comptemplating my envolvement here more and more each day. So many people want this to become a touchy feely sort of forum instead of a FACTUAL one.

Yes we all have different experiences and yes we all have valued input of some sort. BUT bitching and whining gets absolutely nothing accomplished. IF you are sitting on the couch all day long eating Bon-Bons you WILL NOT LOSE WEIGHT. You have to WORK your butt off if you want to achieve maximum results. So many people want to eat at McDonald's then complain about the weight not dropping. I am one of the few that does weigh in every day and I pay very little attention to the weight. My scale gives me weight, fat in pounds, hydration, bone mass and BMI. I weigh on that scale daily to make sure my bone percentage and hydration percentages are staying where they need to be. The rest of the information is extra.

Keep the REAL post coming Graciegurl and I will keep reading them. Now I am going to be insensitive as hell and tell you that IF you are offended by ANY of my post you have to choices. You can choose to SUCK IT UP and move on or HIT the ignore button. I am way past trying to care about it.

Well said Seth! I would never make an awesome mental health provider as I am sure I would be canned the first day! I tell it like I see it and if you have issues then its time to get real, get help, hold yourself accountable, make changes, stop making the same changes over and over ( this is insanity) and stop expecting people to feed your insecurites and BS.... As far a being politically correct??? There is a time and place for everything.... I read the book, Co-dependant no more back in the early 80's... I learned a lot about myself and This is REAL life!! I am not here to enable anyone!

Have a great day!!!!

I think it is best for me to weigh myself weekly. So I had hubby hide the scale in the garage and only bring it out Saturday mornings. When I was on the Bernstein diet, they weighed me everyday, but that left me feeling bad the whole day if there wasn't a loss.

For me, without the temptation to hop on, every day is good now, instead of feeling a kick in my self-esteem.

Originally Posted by Claudia B

I think it is best for me to weigh myself weekly. So I had hubby hide the scale in the garage and only bring it out Saturday mornings. When I was on the Bernstein diet, they weighed me everyday, but that left me feeling bad the whole day if there wasn't a loss.

For me, without the temptation to hop on, every day is good now, instead of feeling a kick in my self-esteem.

I must say that the Bernstein diet is one that I have never heard of and I thought I had been on ALL of them! LOL

The scales now for me do not have that dreaded emotional moment it once did. I think that I am now learning to have a healthy mental association with the scale because it is just a tool!