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Journey Tobeme

250 card

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Remember I said I was making cards for each pound I lose? Here is the card I picked to represent the scale saying 250.

Now before anyone says anything about my card project focusing solely on weight loss....yes it does. Yes I know I scream daily that this path (**see side note**) I am on is not about weight loss. But it is the easiest measurement and quite honestly I am not very creative so it was what I had. Deal with it. I am still not focused on the weight. It is what's on the cards that really matter to me.

**SIDE NOTE: I use the word path because it seems weird to say journey. I feel like I am talking about myself. As in my name is Journey so I avoid using the word journey)*

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ID:	21471It is your life. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for living it your way.

Simple right? I don't think it is for me. But it is something I am working on. This path and this surgery is about making my life my own. I am not living my life on the fears or the guilt I have stacked over the past 40 years. I am moving onto a life lived for myself, my way. This adventure is about finding Journey and becoming me without the baggage.

After a recent thread here I knew this was the perfect card to take off the wall. I don't care what strangers think. I don't care what my family thinks. I lived much of my life for other people's benefit. I didn't do many things because my parents or my husband wouldn't have approved. I made them happy instead of myself. See I haven't always been overweight. Really just for the past 8 years. That was when everything hit me. I was so unhappy with the way my life. It wasn't the life I had dreamed of. I quit taking my medication and let my autoimmune disease get out of control. I gained so much weight quickly. It allowed me to shut myself off from the world.

I have a law degree and never even took the bar. I didn't have my 1st job until I was almost 35. Why? Fear that my children and husband would be damaged by me working instead of home taking care of them. Guilt because I had a working mother and so much happened while she was gone. Fear that I wouldn't be able to pursue the career I wanted and be dedicated because of my family.

Now though, I am done being that person. I have no desire to be an attorney at this point. I use my law degree to contract out work so I can supplement my income nicely. But now that my children are grown I am unsure of what I want to do the rest of my life. I am considering becoming a gypsy....

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Comments

  1. Upgrading's Avatar
    Do what makes you happy. This is your life, so live it.
  2. Rerun4u2's Avatar
    Don't u wish u could have had the confidence this surgery gives u when you were 21?!
  3. Ann2's Avatar
    You're speaking sooth.

    Take care of yourself. First. Now.

    It may shock the hell out of those around you.

    They may (or may not) get used to it.