kchopkins
12 Weeks Post Op - Random Thoughts
by , 10-23-2014 at 01:48 PM (1565 Views)
This last Tuesday was my 12 week post op anniversary. I don't really know how I feel about it. For some reason I thought I'd be much further along than I am, but can't complain since I'm officially 54 pounds from my highest weight.
Obviously my recurring theme is lack of exercise. I hike every weekend, but don't get much else by way of real physical activity on the weekdays.
Some random thoughts I've had these last few days:
- I am very disappointed with the lack of weight lost in my abdominal area. That is where I carried most of my weight, and while I have lost a significant amount as evidenced by my clothing size reducing, it still bothers me to see such a large stomach.
- The carb cravings (pretzels, bread, crackers) have started to sneak back in, though I have been able to avoid going carb crazy. I can usually find something to satisfy my hunger and move on.
- I still find that I am thinking about food constantly. Even though I'm rarely hungry, and don't eat more than a few bites of anything. I am always looking up recipes, sharing ideas with other people, and in general lusting over all those things I know I should not, and won't, eat. It's psychological for sure and I do try to steer my thoughts in other directions. But it's an every day struggle. I need to come to full and complete terms with my food addiction.
- I still hate that almost all the protein drinks out there are super sweet. I typically add two to three times the amount of water just to cut the sweetness. Which means I have to drink that much more and that can take forever some days.
- I do love that I am getting into smaller clothes and the number on the scale continues to move down. I have decided instead of telling myself I still have 100 pounds to lose, I'm focusing solely on each "decade". I just passed from 240 to 239, so now my goal is to make it to 229. I find that is much more manageable in my head and I don't feel so pressured by that 100 number.
- Back to the large stomach issue...I notice I have quite a bit of skin hanging from the insides of my thighs and of course under my arms. I am hoping that will firm up with some consistent exercise and weight training, but I am sure I'll need to look into plastics. I just don't think I can live with the excess skin hanging around. I do admire people who just say "eff it" and love the bodies they have....maybe I can learn to be that way.
- I'm a little bummed that not many people have noticed, or at least have said anything, about my weight loss. I know I'm no Skinny Minnie yet, but it does make me a little sad that no one, except those extremely close to me, has actually said "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!" I guess, especially when confronting a woman, it can be a touchy subject. Kind of like asking if you're pregnant...and finding out you're just fat. LOL. But I do secretly find myself hoping someone will comment on it. Maybe it's not as noticeable as I think it is. Of course I still see a fat girl, but my clothes definitely tell me there's a lot less fat.
Anyway...that's 12 weeks for me. I hope in another 12 weeks, things will look and feel a little different.
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