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  1. What did I do?

    I am 10 pounds over my goal weight. I feel sick about it. I have nightmares about having the rest of my stomach removed. I want to take 20 pounds off, and it it feels like the most awful and unattainable goal I have ever created. I can't even give myself credit for the 140 that I have lost because I am obsessed with these 20 pounds. I feel like a fat cow.
    I am hoping that by saying this and putting it out there into the world I can start to do something about it.
    I don't eat a lot...but ...
  2. Accountability

    I feel fat. I have gained about 10 pounds back, and I feel sick about it. Some in my life said I look better with these 10 pounds and I was too thin. But...I see it as failing. I want to lose the 10 pounds again. I am about 1.5 years out, and I am happy with my weight loss, but I wonder if I am not meant to ever be done losing weight. Even when those 10 pounds were off...I was planning on losing 10 more. (I don't like that the BMI chart says I am overweight...those 10 pounds would put me as regular) ...
  3. Self Check-In

    As I get close to my goal I am starting to really notice how much I have changed over the past 8 months. When you go through something so drastic it is hard not to notice old habits and patterns.
    I never thought that I was a stress eater or had issues with food. My friends would even wonder how I was not "normal" sized. WELL I DID IT IN PRIVATE. I didn't even realize this until a few weeks ago when I was feeling stressed. My instinct was to stop at Dairy Queen and get a medium blizzard ...
  4. Feeling sorry for myself

    I just want to get a few things off my chest...as I am feeling sorry for myself (not cool).
    I am not celebrating the weight loss that I have had, instead I am dwelling on what is still to come. I have lost 101 pounds since the end of June. That should be exciting and fun, but instead I am stressed out about whether or not I will ever get to my goal. I worry that this is my end point that I am not destined to be "thin".
    I fly to Chicago on Thanksgiving to see my mom and dad. ...
  5. almost there

    Well I sitting in my hotel room ready for surgery tomorrow. I had a great dinner, swam, and just took the tiny pill to calm my nerves. I am mostly nervous because I lied to my parents. I am 38 years old and finally in charge of my own life. I knew my mom would not ever come to terms with Mexico...even though I was well researched. BUT now I feel just awful that I am having surgery in a foreign country tomorrow and my parents have no clue. I might call them afterwards and come clean....or maybe I ...
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