I may need to break up our relationship. I didn't mean to cheat on my wife.

[Joe Poppa]

I'm sorry, I don't know how this happened, it just did and I am embarassed.
I pray to God that my wife and children will forgive me.

It started off so innocent, I wasn't looking to cheat on my wife, but then I met you, the Gastric Sleeve Forum members.
It started off casual, but before I knew it, I was posting all the time.
I never wanted my wife and children to find out, I hope they aren't hurt and am deeply sorry for any pain I may have caused anyone.

You see, my wife threw in my face that "Now I am losing all of this weight I am going to have an affair".
JESUS CHRIST! (Sorry he was Jewish, we had him first). She is jealous because I spend some time on the computer having fun, trying to be supportive and trying to help people (I also do that at home and with friends and family)!
Her jealousy reached an all time new high.

I am not going to berate or criticize her here for the lack of support during my pre/post surgery, but to throw that at me is insulting.
I am sorry that her self esteem is so low that she feels that way. I would never "cheat" on her nor would she on I.
I had this surgery and am losing weight because I am tired of being extremely obese, having low self-esteem, want to live a longer, healthier and happier life, be there and provide for my family and not be a burden in my old age, to name a few reasons.

Is anyone else's significant other becoming a little insecure as they are losing weight?

PS. I wish we could have met under different circumstances, all of you mean a lot to me.

[Ann2]

Jeez, Joe. If you're being serious right now, I'm sorry to hear that.

Nope, my dear hubby isn't jealous. That would be so unlike him.

Sounds like it is time for some serious and different kinds of communication between you and your wife. I would bet things that need to be said and revealed to get to the bottom of what's really going on there. True intimacy starts with real honesty.

P.S. I really, really hope you don't leave the board!

[Joe Poppa]

No Ann. Unfortunately what she said was true and she hasn't been helpful to ensure my success to losing weight but part of that, besides she never had a weight issue, is due to her self-centeredness
She has always had a low self-esteem issue, her mother -my sweet dear Mother-Outlaw, did a bang up job creating that.
Her family are, for the most part, very self centered.

I wish it could be different. I go above and beyond to help others, be supportive for them and put others ahead of myself.

That's just a little insight to me.
Now you may understand why I like to joke around. It makes me feel good. I am not allowing myself to go down that dark abyss of unhappiness, like I use to.

[Toopie2Seater]

Poppa, I'm sorry to hear that. I would suggest just leaving your page open on the pc so she could see that we all are just trying to support and help one another, but then she might see the posts about her cooking and strike up a different argument all together. =)Things will be fine. Sometimes small things mean so much to us as women, and may be all that's needed to reassure her. Just an honest, heart-to-heart conversation while you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness with diamonds, chocolates, and flowers in tow. You know, just the little things...... =)

Edit: Your response to Ann occurred while I was typing this. So the last half of it doesn't apply. SHE ought to be the one doing that, not you. That sucks Poppa, and I'm so sorry. =(

[Toopie2Seater]

Btw Poppa, you can't leave. I have daddy issues, I need you here! Lol! =)

[Joe Poppa]

Btw Poppa, you can't leave. I have daddy issues, I need you here! Lol! =)

I won't leave you. But I may also seek other VSG websites.
It's not you, it's me. I am glad you understand.

[Ann2]

Hmmm ... Imma try say something that is true:

Everyone deserves the chance to create their best life. It's a complicated calculus to discover what that is and even more complicated to create it.

I think that when we start counting on our lives remaining the same and stable, that's when God / the fates / the universe have a good belly laugh at our expense. Nothing EVER stays the same. Our changing human conditions challenge us constantly to find a new equilibrium.

I seldom quote religious references. But this one, an ancient classic, seems relevant to us all:

Ecclesiastes 3:

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

[BillyJ]

I honestly don't know how to respond to this. My friend who is a caterer has the same problem with his wife after having the gastric bypass. Maybe couples counseling would help. She has got to see that this is for the betterment of you and for your longevity.

[Joe Poppa]

Hmmm ... Imma try say something that is true:

Everyone deserves the chance to create their best life. It's a complicated calculus to discover what that is and even more complicated to create it.

I think that when we start counting on our lives remaining the same and stable, that's when God / the fates / the universe have a good belly laugh at our expense. Nothing EVER stays the same. Our changing human conditions challenge us constantly to find a new equilibrium.

I seldom quote religious references. But this one, an ancient classic, seems relevant to us all:

Ecclesiastes 3:

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Ann,
Thank you.

Besides being a beautiful passage, it also was the foundation of a great song ("Turn! Turn! Turn!"); for those of us who remember "The Byrds".

[julesdeck]

I'm so very sorry about your dilemma. My husband is not jealous at all so I cannot relate, however I empathize with those who have sensitive situations. I'm usually the jealous one because of past cheaters.

[Fast Eddie]

Ur wife should meet mine joe...she sounds like her long lost twin:/

[Joe Poppa]

Ur wife should meet mine joe...she sounds like her long lost twin:/

Satan spawned twins?

[Fast Eddie]

Lol...can we pick em or what!

[Toopie2Seater]

Fast Eddie, your wife can't cook either?!

[Fast Eddie]

My girls keep me grounded...no matter how much my wife screws up..I know they are turning out empathetic...motivational and positive girls n it makes any pain I experience worth it.