Negativity from family and friends

[yepitsme10]

Why is family and friends so negative, when u tell them u are going ahead with the surgery? The only support I have had has been from my boyfriend. I tried not to tell many because of the jugdemental vibe they are giving. I even had my friend who needs the surgery more than I do, say "I dont want the easy way out, thats a cop out way to battle weight." I wanted to say, "Look heffa, u need it more than me, u weighing in over 300." But I didnt, but I politely corrected her on her baffled theory of this being "the easy route" Nothing is easy, u still must properly diet right and exercise. My own sister had something negative to say. SMH the jealousy from those we are supposed to have support from is mind blowing, but I vow to take that criticism and strive for even better results, why she still standing here fat. Lol Im raw, but real with reality, if not now then why later? I just take as negative feedback when people cant do boss shit like u. Hope this inspires anyone with their dilemma on the sleeve.

[Lee6Lee]

Here's hoping for your fabulous success!

[Sunshine25]

I've had similar experiences. I actually had surgery in Mexico, all my doctors up here (Canada) treat me differently now because of it, it's sad. I have endured hurtful, hurtful comments from loved ones too and when I was in a 3 month stall, all my co-workers made fun of me behind my back as if I was a failure. I really hope your experiences and journey are amazing and not as traumatizing as I have experienced. Don't let anyone drag you down. Always keep that spunky attitude. Good luck!

[yepitsme10]

Thanks.... I see u are doing well. I love it.... Good luck to u and wishing more success for u.

[yepitsme10]

Thats terrible. Its bad how people are judgemental with things. I cant stand it. I think ur success is great and I truy wish u more, dont let the hater fade us. Use it as motivation to shut them up. Stay in touch.

[Mich-D]

My medical team has repeatedly reported that families, friends, and co-workers can be very resistant and even negative in their 'support'. They went to say some of this negativity may be from jealousy as their efforts weren't as successful or it could be from fears of change. I recall the nurse coordinator mentioning that friends, family, and coworkers are used to you being at a larger size than them. Some negativity I received was from coworkers that weren't as heavy as I was and now I weigh less. They felt I cheated by having surgery and used the 'easy way out' references. In time, I have some of these people have come around in time.

[cameo]

I don't understand why people want to judge us, especially those that calls us their family or friends. I know that I get judged for the size that I am like I am not trying of have not tried in the past. I am just like you guys, I have tried every diet in the book and lose for a while and then gain right back. I have not told but about 3 people because of the reasons listed above. I have the support of my boyfriend and son and all you guys on here. I am here for all of you anytime. I understand just as everyone else on here does.

[groundedsteve]

I told everyone ... And I am am just waiting for the "easy way comment". I feel sorry for the person who will say it. This is NOT easy, there is nothing easy about it at all. When people do question my decision I tell the that my bmi was over 40, my BP was high and I was well on my way to diabetes. I told them I wanted to live longer and then suggested that more people need to take their health more seriously and move to do something dramatic like what I did. That usually shuts them up.

[sraebaer]

It is the easiest way to lose weight, what's wrong with that? You will LOVE your sleeve, try not to worry about what others are saying. Many heavy people probably can't afford the surgery, I was blessed to have been able to do it.

[Joe Poppa]

This is the 3rd time I posted this statement to someone who was told they were "taking the lazy (or easy) way out" by having gastric surgery. It's a shame it has to be posted at all.

This is a quote taken directly from the "The American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery" (ASMBS):

"More than a decade ago, The National Institutes of Health, better known as NIH, reported that individuals affected by severe obesity are resistant to maintaining weight loss achieved by conventional therapies, such as consuming fewer calories, increasing exercise, commercial weight-loss programs, etc.). The NIH recognized bariatric (weight-loss) surgery as the only effective treatment to combat severe obesity and maintain weight loss in the long term."

If they don't accept this then commend them on their brilliant medical knowledge, they are obviously smarter than the NIH & ASMBS.

Don't let naysayers and other negative people change your mind about these procedures.
Let them know that you are counting on their support and if they still are very negative and unsupportive, then distance yourself a little bit from them and spend more time around people who are supportive and understanding.

[TraceyLee]

I've told no one. The only one who knows is naturally my DH. I did tell my Mum tonight that I had lost 20kg since thaw last time I'd seen her, her statement was "don't you think that's a bit much surely you're not going to try and lose any more you won't keep it off anyway"
Well my dear mother by Christmas your daughter is going to be at least another 10-15kg lighter huh!
All negativety is only making me more determined to stick it right up their you know what's

[yepitsme10]

Smh they are just rude. Smh. I dont like it. I wish all good luck. Lets all succeed and prove their theory wrong.

[Batmanswifeislosing]

I have learned that those who don't need the surgery and are negative its usually that they are scared for you, scared of complications or scared of the unknown. I had issues with people and I thought it was that they were scared that I would no longer be the fat ugly duckling that they hung out with that made them feel better about themselves and come to find out in the end that was exactly their issue, once I got thinner than them they stopped hanging out with me...their loss! Those who need the surgery it is jealousy, its hard to deal with for them..I know because I was them when my mom and dad had the surgery and I couldn't. I was horrible to them and have since apologized for my behavior but it was so hard to accept that they were going to get the surgery and live longer and healthier and I was going to be left sitting not he couch with my cheeseburger...ALONE. that was the real issue I was scared that after their surgery I would be left fat and alone.
I know this sounds very turn the other cheek-ish but try to understand how hard and scary it is for them. you 300 lbs family member is probably scared and jealous. Do not let them steal your joy but try to bring them along in your journey so they don't feel so left behind. Congrats and good luck on your journey.

[Angel123]

You will find people who are going to be negative...my own sister said "oh don't do that can't you just try to lose weight!" I was like uh if I could do it by myself don't you think I would have years ago!....Then she went on to say I can become an alcoholic after surgery and as she was speaking to me I was googling it and if you have a drinking issue to begin with you may have a bigger issue because of the stomach being smaller but I was like "I don't even drink"!...She was trying so hard to come up with every reason why I shouldn't and I just said are you afraid I am going to be the thin one in the family...although she denied it....I think that was it! Lol

[missemily516]

Joe Poppa, I am going to copy and paste that into a word doc and print it out to keep in my pocket. Great, great quote!